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Mr. Ed

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  Santa's Big Secret
by Mr. Ed
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Rainy Morning Walkaround
•  Pool Party
•  Meadow Morn
•  Early Morning Walkabout
•  AAH!
•  Toxic Morn
•  Ode To Dawn
•  Spring Has Finally Sprung
•  Our Heartlessness Grows
•  Far From Home
•  Earth Day Blues
•  Little Quacker
•  Foggy Wood Morn
•  Swarmaggedon
           >> View all 1,393





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“More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,


And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;


‘Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!


On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!


To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!


Now Dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”


 


A Visit from St Nicholas,
Clement C. Moore


 


 


We all know Dasher and Dancer


And team members Prancer and Vixen


We all know Comet and Cupid


And team members Donner and Blitzen


 


And of course we all know their leader


Rudolph the very Red Nosed Reindeer


But old Santa is a most clever fellow


And he’s tricked far too many of us I fear


 


In the very intriguing world of Mother Nature


Female reindeer retain their antlers each winter


But every male reindeer sheds his every autumn


So all of them - including Rudolph – are female deer


 


Could our Jolly old Saint Nick


Have really been ahead of his time


Giving only females this important duty


Or could this really be - a gender bias crime?


 


Can our bruised male egos now accept the raw truth


That while female reindeer diligently pull Santa’s sleigh


The now truly embarrassed male reindeer all stay at home


Helping Mrs. Claus bake her Christmas cookies all day?


 


Hmm…


 


But don’t dismay my many male friends


Baking Christmas cookies can truly be fun


Oops pardon me I really have to run now


My latest batch now appears to be done


 


So this now domesticated male quickly dashed away


To the very large oven in his festively decorated home


Savoring the delicious smell of his Christmas cookies


And wondering where the heck his wife now did roam


 


But soon he began to relax as he eventually realized


That she must be out doing his Christmas shopping


Truly hoping she would get him that new microwave


For all the Holiday Corn – that he truly loves popping


 


 


 


©2005, Gingerbread Ed


 


 


 


Reindeers in Nature


 


These large animals live in northerly climes in North America, Europe, Asia, and the Arctic. In Eurasia and at the North Pole they are called reindeer, and in North America they are more commonly referred to as ‘caribou,’ but they are all the same species.


 


The wild herds of Alaska and Canada are known for their massive migrations, while large numbers of them in Eurasia are domesticated, raised for fur, meat, milk, and as work animals. But whether you call them reindeer or caribou, they’re definitely physically well suited to pull a sleigh full of toys and a very crafty old elf.


 


And in most species of deer, the females don’t have any antlers at all; but this isn’t the case with reindeer.  Both males and females sport massive antlers in the spring and summer; but, unbelievably, the males shed their antlers each and every fall, while the female reindeer all strut around very proudly with their enormous racks – all winter long.


 


Must be tough being a male reindeer in the winter time.


 


And this might also explain why Grandma got run over by these reindeer; no self respecting male would run down a poor defenseless Granny, especially on Christmas Eve.


 


And I really wonder what Rudolph’s real name is… 


 


 

 


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Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero 12/23/2005
Ed! Only you would come up with such concenpt! I really enjoy your humor. Keep it up.

Carmen :-)
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 12/22/2005
Yup! and did you know santa is really a girlie too. AKA Santa Maria.
What blokes would leave such delights out for a bloke at christmas. c'mon think about it....You say you've never noticed names like Dancer, Prancer, Vixen and Donner. Yup female names for sure..
And a Santa Maria can climb my chimney anywhen...Nudge nudge wink wink say no more...
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 12/22/2005
enjoyed the read
Reviewed by E T Waldron 12/22/2005
little eddie is at it again! Entertaining the crowds with his whimsical stories that keep us ho ho hoing all day long!;-) lol...thank you for this delight, I loved the music too, and of course the reindeer lineup, I could see myself in it, kicking up my hooves;-)heehee

love,
tiger lily
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 12/22/2005
Ho, Ho, Ho, Ed, a jolly fun write! :) Enjoyed--

Merry Christmas!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 12/22/2005
Love it, Ed. That's a cool gif too.
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 12/22/2005
Grandma was asking for it......but thats another story :-)....from a female that knows :-)

Love this write!
Reviewed by Lori Moore 12/22/2005
This is too funny!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 12/22/2005
Your sense of humor is just amazing!!

Love Tinky
Reviewed by George Carroll 12/22/2005
Their names except for Rudolph, who is a new comer, are all politically correct as not having any gender. Oh well the story is still a classic and it's nice to know it was female reindeers that got Saint Nick to his appointed rounds. Ho Ho Ho
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 12/22/2005
So, how is it that Santa finds his way, as if the reindeer are all female, none of them have a clue as to how to read a map and if even one of them has as little as one blonde hair he is really in trouble...thanks for the early morning giggle & grin...Ed & Rufuz
Reviewed by Peter Paton 12/22/2005
You have a wonderful and uplifting sense of humour Ed...and you show it again in this delightful Christmas tale...love those accompanying pictures too, which highlight your poems !
Some parts of North America you have to be extremely careful driving, as these magnificent creatures, caribou or reindeer, come bounding across the road night and day, so please be extra careful
when driving these roads, for all concerned !
Prancer is my favoutite ! Reminds me of myself...all action...lols
Peter
Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green 12/22/2005
Ooooh how I love a man who cooks.:) Ed, you are a 'pure-dee' dee-light. Love your spirit...oomph!!! Female, shmale, you are a 'deer all year 'roun'. Fast, too!! {First to review my poem 'To 'Beats me...'. . .must be wearin' skates a n d have 4 feet. Other 'deers
he'ped, tell the truth. Love the way you have your bio set up. Cute cartoon & poem. 'tween the eats an' the humor, ah'm all yers...wait, Ray cooks, and. . .lotta me's yers. Deal with it.
Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug, 'Pea' <3
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