A Leak in my Subconscious

©2006 Tyrone Vincent Banks

How many thoughts are just too much?

I organize

Classify

Randomize

And then I try

To make sense of it…well, let’s have a conversation

One against the world of reviewers, writers, poets and such…

You will keep this confidential…right?

I have a plan for the New Year

I will read and understand the Bible

I even entertained the thought of being baptized again…not because my Momma told me to…

But because, I really want to

I have a plan for the New Year

A Protestant within a group of Catholics

A new leader will be born within me.

Why?

Because, I feel that the battle is brewing just over the horizon

I’m sorry but I feel that our time is near…I won’t go into detail, but you know what I mean…

I’ve picked my side – if that side would have me in spite of my flaws

Isn’t the Bible a prophecy of sorts?

Of what was and what will be…

Is it not faith that will cause us to align ourselves to the Holy Bible, the Torah or the Koran?

Some pick one page and/or one line and decide to interpret that in any way that they choose and then blame the word for their actions.

Man, I’m conflicted…

I’ve chosen my path and I want to follow it…

Is it wrong that I want to go it alone for a spell to find my way first?

Sometimes you ask questions and get pulled into a group and then your free will is breeched. 

You begin to see what they see and forget what you see or what you saw that led you down that path in the first place.

I stated my intentions once,

Saying: “I want to be a minister!” as we drove down that road.

Not a mail order minister but a minister and warrior for Christ…

We promised to raise our kids as Catholic and I will do my part.

But to me, being a Baptist has become my culture as an African American man unaware of his true origin.

She said, “You’d tear the family apart and confuse the children!”

I responded to myself, “Aren’t we all torn apart and confused without Christ or an understanding of his legacy and his sacrifice made so that we can live?”

I’m tired of being torn apart!

I’m tired of being confused!

I want to learn

I want to excel

I want to pass on the knowledge

I want to lead…

I don’t want to be a part of a “Church of the forever moving collection plate.”

I don’t want to be a part of a “Church of ‘God will kill me if I don’t make a million dollars’”

I’d rather be a part of a church without walls – that is the World that we live in.

We are in a small room in the house of God

We were escorted in and allowed almost free reign

Christ walked in and reminded us of our purpose

We didn’t get it, so he died before that door was reopened and the sinners plucked out

I hear a key at the door

I see the door knob turn

When he opens the door and asks Christ to escort the deserving into the main banquet room

If it is God’s will then I shall be there.

I’m about to start a journey and I will achieve my goal…