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Ed Matlack

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Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV
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Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV is adult literature featuring adult content and language that satirizes thirteen famous short fiction works...  
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Now I hate cell phones...
by Ed Matlack
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Seems I always end up hating inanimate objects,


Most of the time cause they are too complex,


Enclosed in their directions are too many subjects,


Leaving me mostly bleary eyed and totally perplexed…


 


My company two-way talk phone,


I am going to beat with one of the dogs used bones,


It beeps its displeasure with me, usually when I am asleep,


If I forget to plug it in to charge it, it tells me I am too cheap…


 


My personal phone uses twice the minutes as I am ALWAYS roaming,


If I walk out my door or two feet away from my computer,


It beeps and tells me I am no longer in my area,


That damn thing is really getting to me, at the mouth I foaming…


 


The only place it says I am IN MY AREA,


Is one hundred miles away from my home,


I am only there once a week, so I have to call everyone then,


Better off we were long ago, way before cell phones were used when,


I really must remain calm and centered, so does say my teacher of Zen…


© ed ~ 1/5/06

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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 1/7/2006
I love your sense of humor, Ed. So far, I've managed to get along without a cell phone. I'm starting to feel out of place as everyone around me is talking into the little gadgets; I'm just talking to myself. Love and peace,

Regis
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 1/6/2006
lol!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 1/6/2006
Please drive to YOUR AREA immediately, and wait there. I've got something very important to tell you, and I want to make sure you have a very good connection. Thanks.
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 1/6/2006
Gosh! That can really get to your nerve. I would too if I were you.

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 1/6/2006
Probably the worst thing that has happened since the birth of Hitler. Yup. I hate 'em too. Bit time.
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