Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  M. Andrew Sprong, iStan Law (aka Stanislaw Kapuscinski), iJackie Miller, iFrank Ryan, iTony Bertot, iGwendolyn Thomas Gath, iA. Bell, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ed Matlack

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 5,756 Titles
· 43,725 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV
by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV is adult literature featuring adult content and language that satirizes thirteen famous short fiction works...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Now I hate cell phones...
by Ed Matlack
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow
Recent poems by Ed Matlack
•  A Brotherly Triad...
•  Forever in my Memory...
•  Orgasm...
•  Torture chamber...
•  In its clutches...
           >> View all 5,730


Seems I always end up hating inanimate objects,

Most of the time cause they are too complex,

Enclosed in their directions are too many subjects,

Leaving me mostly bleary eyed and totally perplexed…


My company two-way talk phone,

I am going to beat with one of the dogs used bones,

It beeps its displeasure with me, usually when I am asleep,

If I forget to plug it in to charge it, it tells me I am too cheap…


My personal phone uses twice the minutes as I am ALWAYS roaming,

If I walk out my door or two feet away from my computer,

It beeps and tells me I am no longer in my area,

That damn thing is really getting to me, at the mouth I foaming…


The only place it says I am IN MY AREA,

Is one hundred miles away from my home,

I am only there once a week, so I have to call everyone then,

Better off we were long ago, way before cell phones were used when,

I really must remain calm and centered, so does say my teacher of Zen…

© ed ~ 1/5/06

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 1/7/2006
I love your sense of humor, Ed. So far, I've managed to get along without a cell phone. I'm starting to feel out of place as everyone around me is talking into the little gadgets; I'm just talking to myself. Love and peace,

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 1/6/2006

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 1/6/2006
Please drive to YOUR AREA immediately, and wait there. I've got something very important to tell you, and I want to make sure you have a very good connection. Thanks.
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 1/6/2006
Gosh! That can really get to your nerve. I would too if I were you.

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 1/6/2006
Probably the worst thing that has happened since the birth of Hitler. Yup. I hate 'em too. Bit time.
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Atlanta Belle
  2.  Torture chamber...
  3.  A Tale of 2 Crows
  4.  BIG Bear Hugs!
  5.  Five Stages of Rewrite
  6.  Well, it's a job...
  7.  My UnWanted Birthday
  8.  The Thrill is Gone
  9.  Coming apart at the seams...
  10.  SHRIMPY

Poisoned By Yew by Janice Scott

A collection of all the short stories featured on my pages here at Authors' Den...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.