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Sleet Not Expected to End
Dark all day. Wet. Squalls are strong-
arming rain into sleet. Bullets of ice
calibrated to penetrate asap. Sudden
let-up silhouettes a woman struggling
to say upright. Kids look to be hers.
Boy maybe 4, girl, maybe 6. Hard
to tell. See a doctor scrawl Question
survive. Now big-eyed and street-wise
stick figures step in others' steps,
take their chances Doesn't help
passing thunderheads are seeding
pellets. Hatched shadows cross against
a hoar-frosted light. Flapflapflap
rap soles between slips and slides.
All of us stumble, slide, try to right.
Feet and noses numb as lightning Z's
Zoro-like between corner buildings.
Don't let reflected light fool. Meet
the Prince of Darkness. Soul so charred,
neither ice nor human can revive.
Sees petals once gold freeze to the sunken
cheeks of a 6-year-old, laughs and packs
wet snow around a rock. Sleet is blinding,
but those pants she has on are Men's.
Cut off, but still she trips. Mom helps her up.
Boy slogs on, his cowlick an inverted icicle
or diamond stalagmite. Most of the down
has leaked from his jacket. Mom's coat
doesn't button or zip. Fished from a bin
says Help. Brrrr. Frankenstein's-monster-
stiff, but aliiiiiiive. Aliiiiiiii. . .oh no.
Red neon Coffee. Good and Hot. Smell wafts
as the door swings. Holiday'd windows
with white fur mullions show Cheshires
over forksful of eggs. Butter drips.
Soul for a doughnut. Crunch a cop's shoes.
Shelter's down that way. Stomp-stomp.
Person could freeze on a night like this.
(c) Phyllis Jean Green, 2006
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|Reviewed by Regina Pounds
|Pea, this grips me and carries me right along with your characters whose fate grips me and chills me as much as the sleet.
I can only agree with all who commented... great, effective work and exquisite mood setting!
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|You have created the atmosphere (the aura) most effectively, Pea. Thank you for sharing this gift. Love and peace to you,
|Reviewed by Victoria Murray
|I agree with Aberjhani. Beauty born with pain. Or something like that. Love your writing!
|Reviewed by Lori Moore
|You captured the theme very well. Enjoyed.|
|Reviewed by Aberjhani
|Your literary artistry is never anything less than remarkable. In these condensed lines we have a veritable biography of an entire family and a chilling portrait of a too-cruel too-indifferent society. Somehow, despite the pain there is beauty, and despite the shame there is wisdom and dignity. Takes a Poet to make us see what we perhaps would rather not.
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
One sees the storm come to life through your powerful slice of life...very well done! Enjoyed this one--if you're sick of the rain/snow/sleet, send it Texas' way...I wouldn't mind. :)
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Wonderful offering Pea!!
|Reviewed by Sandra Mushi
|Awesome captivating real life story, Pea!
|Reviewed by Peter Paton
|Another fantastic and original write from your golden quill Pea
You are a master with word play
|Reviewed by George Carroll
|Splendid real life write|
|Reviewed by J M
|I love the moments of icicles. This is wonderful thoughts you penned. Get another blanket dear Pea|
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|This grabs the readers attention all the way from the stark black of the fine print to the dire circimstatial images that scream at me to want to go out there and find them kids and their mother and give them what they need so despartaly...
I cannot do that but this has definately inspired me to make another donation to the local shelter for the homeless and hopefully more who read this will do the same. Thanks for the reality check Phyllis
|Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero
|You did it again. Presented things as they are; no judgment, no lectures from the poet. A slice of life; to real for words -- left me feeling grateful I have a place to rest my bones. Great piece of work.