Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Regis Schilken, iRita Hestand, iKen Brosky, iGlen Schulz, iJean-Pierre Gregoire, iBlue Sleighty, iReverend Dr. Linda De Coff, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ed Matlack

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 5,693 Titles
· 43,245 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
The King's Ransom (Young Knights of the Round Table
by Cheryl Carpinello

In Young Knights of the Round Table: The King’s Ransom, three friends embark upon a quest to save their mentor accused of murder and theft.Gavin, Philip, and Bryan take t..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Featured Book
The Labyrinth of Time
by T.W. Fendley

When 16-year-old Jade Davis discovers only she and the son of a Peruvian museum director can telepathically access messages left on engraved stones by an ancient race, sh..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Summer Doth Approach...
  2.  My Ass Is Grass
  3.  My Good Friday Procedure
  5.  Sunny Days and Mondays
  6.  The Toilet Seat
  7.  Funny Bones Claire
  8.  What is it with women...?
  9.  Get a haircut & a real job, ya hippie...
  10.  A Guitar
  11.  Missed again...
  12.  Ah, Shucks
  13.  Just Around The Corner
  14.  Cell Phone Blues
  15.  A Cool Guy
  16.  An expose' of the Pines Devil...
  17.  Interaction
  18.  Mushmouth Kostro...
  19.  Historic storm a bust...
  20.  Finally looks like some significant snow i

A Man's Remote...
by Ed Matlack

Thursday, January 12, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Ed Matlack
•  Expiration date...
•  Wipe out...
•  Wha' happened to Spring...?
•  Summer Doth Approach...
•  FIRE...
           >> View all 5,668

My Christmas present I did not get,

I thought that maybe I might still yet,

Even if sent without a box,

All I did get was a stocking full of black rocks…


If you do study the remote itself,

You will find it could not be left on the shelf,

For on my shoulder does reside my lil’ devilish elf,

He says to use it to its furthest degree,

And use it fast, as it has a very short term guarantee…


Maybe next year, my gift I will receive,

Even if of this gift you do not believe,

I will beforehand stock pile batteries,

Plenty then I will possess,

Then my desire to run my house I will not have to suppress…

© ed ~ 11/12/06

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 1/13/2006
I wonder what a woman's remote might look like. Thank you for sharing your gift of humor, Ed. Love and peace,

Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson 1/13/2006
Why are the rocks black?
I've seen this remote before..
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 1/13/2006
Yup, I have one of those.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 1/13/2006
Oh Boy....hopefully there will be one for woman too...maybe in a different shape to insure no mistakingZZZZZZZZZZZ!!

Little DEVIL YOU!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Sherry Heim 1/12/2006
LOL...wait till you see the one she got!!
Take care,
Reviewed by Lori Moore 1/12/2006
Lol... Maybe you'll get one for your birthday.

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.