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Ed Matlack

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Member Since: Aug, 2003

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Featured Book
Pastiche:Stories and Such
by Lucille

collection of stories, essays and poetry. Several are award winners...  
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Some things mean more...
by Ed Matlack
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Some friendships kinda come and go and others are not worth the time spent, but some are well worth any pain or anguish, some like the one with my friend Scott Zachary mean more than one can say...

Some things mean more…


Hi Ed,

I was able to burn my CD's without a problem. Here are the steps you should follow:

1) Select a nice clear area in your backyard

2) Forage around your neighborhood for lots of dead, dry wood, and make a large pile of said wood in the area mentioned in step 1 above.

3) Carefully lay as many CD's as you wish to burn on the center of the pile of wood mentioned in step 2 above. Keep in mind that your CD's will likely burn in a bottom-to-top sequence.

4) Pour gasoline all over the pile of wood mentioned in step 2 above and all over the CD's mentioned in step 3 above. For best results, do not spill gasoline on your pants or shoes, but if you do, don't worry about it.

5) Ideally, you would not have chosen a steep hill for the area mentioned in step 1 above, but if you are that naive, then--just for kicks--stand on the downhill side as you pour liberal quantities of the gasoline mentioned in step 4 above on the pile of wood mentioned in step 2 above.

6) Stand back about ten feet from the pile of wood mentioned in step two above. Take your shirt off, get your lighter out, and set said shirt on fire.

7) Gingerly toss the burning shirt mentioned in step 6 above onto the pile of wood mentioned in step 2 above.

8) Scream, "burn, baby, burn!" at the top of your lungs. If you had chosen the optional "just for kicks" variation mentioned in step 5 above, then you might want to run as fast as you can away from the pile of wood mentioned in step 2 above, because not only are your CD's burning, but you probably are too.

I hope this helped, Ed. This is the only sure-fire way of burning CD's that I know.

Your friend, Scott


The above a review,

Coming directly to me and you,

From a friend I call Scott,

Living in Kentucky at the Zachary Zoo…


You can see why they keep him in a padded cage,

Though you never do see him even after a few beers,

Ever does he show you or I or anyone any kind of rage,

Just he does have another and says to everyone cheers…


One crazy sumbitch he is known by me,

I guess the gods did about him make a decree,

Someone on that little green and blue planet,

Must be short on sanity, so Scott might as well be crazy,

If that is crazy then send it out this way,

I want what he has but only to a very small degree…

© ed ~ 1/27/06


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Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart
Scott sounds just as crazy as you, Ed. Did you happen to roast any marshmallows and wienies?
Reviewed by Scott Zachary
Dear Ed,

Thank you for your loving tribute...hehe--hoho--haha!


Scott D. Zachary
Imaginary Caretaker
Zachary's Zoo, Inc.
Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Thank you for sharing the humor, Ed; and Scott does come across as a cool friend. Take care. Love and peace,

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Hahahaha...seems like Scott YOU and I are one grazy squadron!!

Hope Rufuz does NOT read these instructions!!

Wooooooooof and he will play frizzzzbee a little higher UP!!

Love Tinka

Scott You Rock!!
Reviewed by William Bonilla
This a kool write
And that review from Scott was the "BOMB"
Very funny stuff
thanks for share a few laughs

Peace Brother
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
HO HO! I think Scott has given you the best advice yet about burning CD's.

PS I can see why you guys are such good friends. In that picture, it looks like Scott's talking to you on the phone, while also sitting on the can. You guys must have lots of good conversations that way.

"Grunt - Hi, Ed!"
"Grunt - Hi, Scott! Can you help me burn a CD?"
"Sure, old buddy, right after I burn this log!"
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