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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

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Septcouplet: Indiscretion
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
•  Past Due, © 2014, Karla Dorman
•  So THERE, © 2014, Karla Dorman
•  Hold On: Spring Is Coming, © 2014, Karla Dorman
•  THEY, © 2013, Karla Dorman
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           >> View all 3,280

Septcouplet: form invented by Jerry Bolton.

Seven stanzas of free style verse, six lines each, no syllable count; punctuation within verse but not at ends, all in lowercase type.

After each verse: two four syllable lines which must rhyme.

T'ain't as easy as it looks. TRUST me. :)

Hope I did it right, Jerry!



lightning flickers nervously as
thunder mutters curses
under ozone drunk breath
there is tension in the sky
as the clouds
try to get out of the way

partnership, through
broken in two

its been a long time coming
the undercurrents 
the suspicion
of her unfaithfulness
building until it was
exposed in a flash

a shout of pain
and rage, insane

thunder shoves lightning from
her palace in the heavens
with a resounding crack
banishing her to the earth
below, to walk in shame
never to return

she can't go home
always to roam

rain trickles from her eyes
she knew it was wrong
to cheat, but what was she
supposed to do?  thunder always
complained about
everything

in a loud voice
she had no choice

he wanted her all to himself
he did not want to share
her beauty with
the world but she was a star
and stars are constantly
in the public eye

the way it is
when in show biz

they were a team
the most successful duo the
storm produced
they fell in love and married
a perfect compliment to each other
now separated, heading for divorce

her damnation
stuns the nation

she walks the earth, forlorn
wishing she could correct
her mistake but knowing
he won't forgive her
he's found another
forgotten already

she's a has-been
due to her sin

(c) 2006, Karla Dorman.

  

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Reviewed by Kate Burnside 2/5/2006
Hey, StormSpinner!! Just how long HAVE I been away??!! And what does this change of identity mean, I ask myself?? This rates as the most wonderfully crafted allegory that could well endure as a classic, Ms Whirlwind. And the form suits it so very well. My congratulations to both the Storyteller and the Formdeviser. A winning combination! TY Kate xx
Reviewed by Jill Eisnaugle 2/5/2006
I tried this too and it is hard. I'll post mine tomorrow, sometime.

Great job!
Jill
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 2/5/2006
Nicely done. Miss thunderdizzy...
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 2/5/2006
Wow, this was excellent Karla, Loved this!

Reindeer
Reviewed by Joyce Hale 2/5/2006
Fascinating, Karla!!!! I love it!

Peace. Joyce
Reviewed by Felix Perry 2/5/2006
Wow, I think you did a great job of it Karla i am sooo impressed.

Felix
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 2/5/2006
The StormSpinner has spun quite a tale here, Karla.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/5/2006
Very,very good Karla....you rock lady!!

Love tinka
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 2/4/2006
(((Karla)))

WOWEE, WOW, WOW!!!!!!! This is absolutely spectacular! Very well done; you have mastered Jerry's style of writing perfectly in meter, form, and rhyme! BRAVA!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. (Hey, I rhymed! LOL I did a poem! NEENER, NEENER, NEENER! LOL)
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 2/4/2006
BY JOVE, I BELIEVE SHE'S GOT IT! This was very good, Karla, very well done. Thank you for attempting AND succeeding spectacularly. I am impressed. Really. Thank you for giving it a chance.
Reviewed by E T Waldron 2/4/2006
Karla this is fantastic! You outdid yourself with this gem! Isn't it weird, I had planned mine for tonight too;-) Yours is better and on a different subject!;-) Kudo's to you my friend!

Eileen^
Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen 2/4/2006
Brava, Karla!! I am speechless...

Always your fan,

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater 2/4/2006
Outstanding rendition of Jerry's septcouplet. Thunderous, explosive metaphor!

Sage
Reviewed by Sherry Heim 2/4/2006
You did a stunning job with this format, Karla, and I know it isn't easy as I gave it a shot myself. Beautiful poem and a fun read.
Take care,
Sherry
Reviewed by Nordette Adams 2/4/2006
A true writer tries different styles and forms. So, what does that make you? Wonderful work, Karla. It's good exercise isn't it? ~~Nordette
Reviewed by Peter Paton 2/4/2006
You have taken the bull by the horns Karla, and completed Jerry's septcouplet challenge with both ingenuity and great skill
Well done !
Peter
Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero 2/4/2006
Great use of metaphor, Karla. Good work! ~~Carmen



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