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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

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Popular Poetry (Drama)
  1.  Life on Earth
  2.  The End





Septcouplet: The Burn Journal
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 3,280

Based on Jerry Bolton's septcouplet format, this is part fiction, part truth--you decide which is which. :)



the wind pulls the remaining
moiture out of the grass
hoovering it up with mouth of flame
tornadoes of smoke twist
sinuously into my lungs
drought conditions once again

burning season
weather's treason

the rain we had last week was
for naught
a drop of piss in the bucket
if you want to call it that
so much more is needed
but none is forthcoming

no end in sight
prayers we recite

other parts of the country
partake in abundant
feasts of precipitation
while we pant for even one
taste and watch
everything we own ignite

this place i dwell
surely is hell

will i perish in a lake of fire
with demons stirring
my charred bones with pitchforks
or will a savior
come and take me out of the midst
of blazing torment

i writhe in pain
for want of rain

tongue as dry as the pen
the journal i've been keeping
is now a cinder
of ash that got caught in
my eye and i shed tears
i can't afford to cry

words blow away
what can i say

to end this misery
and stop the nightmares
from coming to life
in vivid yellow-orange
even in my waking hours
i see the monster

showing his face
as i'm displaced

i got out alive thank the lord
and here i am in a shelter
writing my thoughts down
with a borrowed pen ond loaned paper
the beginning of a new
chapter in my life and in

my burn journal
hopes, eternal

(c) 2006, Karla Dorman.

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Reviewed by Peter Paton 2/6/2006
I agree with the consensus of opinion below Karla !
This is a spectacular and superb adaption of the septcouplet, and you undoubtedly have a knack and flair for these formats.
I agree with Eileen Tiger Lily too, the name change has propelled you to greater heights in literature !
Blessings
Peter
Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher 2/6/2006
This is excellent, Karla!
Lots of love and plenty hugs, Birgit and Roger
Reviewed by Only A Poet 2/6/2006
you have made this so real, a powerful and compelling write.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 2/6/2006
This poem has blown me away, Karla - Very Good!
Reviewed by Paul Berube 2/6/2006
Karla,

May your golden pen never dry-up. Two thumbs up.
Reviewed by jude forese 2/5/2006
i'm not familiar with this genre but you did an excellent job of composing such an illustrative and powerful poem ...
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 2/5/2006
Excellent work, Karla. YOu get better and better with each writing.
Reviewed by E T Waldron 2/5/2006
Karla you put your stamp on this form and you are going full steam ahead since the new puter and name change! Fantastic poem, you have caught the lightning now thunder on;-)Kudo's!

Eileen^
Reviewed by Bobbi Duffy 2/5/2006
Magnificent poetry. You did the topic well. I could see the drying of the grasslands and feel the dryness of the air as I read it. Well done.

Bobbi
Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero 2/5/2006
Outstanding poetry. You've outdone yourself with this one.

Carmen :-)
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 2/5/2006
I know where the fiction and the fact reside, and I know something else also. You have a knack for the septcouplet. This is damn good, you know how to lace the verses, building as you go, and your couplets put exclamination points on the verses. Outta sight!
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 2/5/2006
Karla,

This is chilling and haunting in its impact. Let's see...stanzas #1, #2, and #3 are true (I THINK!). As for the other four, I am not so sure. lol seriously though, this is a riveting piece that could very well be true for anyone experiencing the burning hour; the imagery you use is effectively and dynamically written! BRAVA!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :(
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 2/5/2006
Wow this is powerful
God Bless
Michelle!
Reviewed by F William Broome 2/5/2006
So grippingly graphic! Your craft is improving on a subject of terrifying proportions. My deepest sympathy on your plight, but Congratulations on very good work. - Bill



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