There is a coldness - encroaching through the night
I know that it will be over before it comes to sight.
No mourners will need to visit for time will fly away
and whisper the promise of another living day.
Prayers I have recited echo through my mind still
of days I hoped would end and those that never will.
Tears still falling fresh upon my pale, salty cheek.
Why does God give strength to the weakest of the weak?
I do not know how to use strength, my bones quiver
at the thought of having to fight, please Lord, deliver
me from this awful feeling of alone, let me smile!
Let me know true life...let me know life is worthwhile.
All love I have felt in life, was a pain of some type.
I was sculpted into a beastly thing...told I wasnít right.
My heart is so confused, Lord...I refuse to love again
because I think it only invites the vampires that bring pain.
Theyíve drained my heart and robbed my soul so long ago.
Iím but an empty marionette dancing a forgotten show.
Deliver me...save me...is there someone who loves me
without pain, without abuse...who will not curse nor shove me?
Does he exist? Is he real? My heart is nothing more than dust
of a memory of a heart that was corroded in lifeís thick rust.
I always believed when they said that each cloud is silver
in some aspect...a lining of hope...please Lord, do deliver
I reach my hand out to you. I surrender my small breaths.
I feel Iíve marched the march and have died a thousand deaths.
Iím weary of this fight. Iím weary of this scary world.
Iím nothing to so many...just a sad and frightened girl.
So Lord, if you do hear me and it turns out that youíre real.
Please hear this small prayer...please let this hatred heal.
Iíve never much cared for myself Iíve put so many first.
I see myself as empty and Iím my own hellish curse.
I wish that I could trust again but Iíve been hurt before
by those who sought shelter behind my timid door.
I cannot offer anyone strength without depleting mine.
Iím tired of this good fight...Iím stepping out of line.
Thereís no one there to love me - it doesnít surprise
that thereís no soul reflecting in the picture of my eyes.
©February 5, 2006 Lori S. Maynard
6:42 - 6:46 p.m. 4 minute free write
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|Reviewed by Joyce Hale
|A poignant write, full of doubt of self and all around, and God. Been there, have come back. So much pain, so much love. Yes, love, from you to others, a love which must not die. Waver, flounder, doubt if you must, but God is there, as are others who will stand by you if needed. A wonderful write, especially for 4 minutes!!! Excellent. Peace.|
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|Often Lori we tend to blame ourselves for failures that we truly had no control over such as love. We tend to think if we had been more tolerant, more understanding, better lovers, handsomer, thinner, funnier etc etc etc then the one who we loved would still be with us.The real truth is though we cannot alter love any more then we can the weather and God gives us the hope and strength to seek the next dawn but we must find our next love...that is the way of life and love. Brilliant write here Lori,
|Reviewed by m j hollingshead
|Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
|Lovely...I am sure it will touch many who read it.|
|Reviewed by Bobbi Duffy
|Some magical four minutes. This is an impressive effort for such a short writing time. So very expressive and heart wrenching. Well done.
|Reviewed by Peter Paton
|God is real for sure, and the fact that you have penned this moving
and anguished cry for help, is proof that he exists !
It is at our darkest hour, in the middle of the night, that the Lord hears us and answer our prayers !
Never give up hope Lori, your best years still lie ahead of you, to clinch that inner happiness you so dearly crave, you must first get yourself right with God.!
Once you stop doubting his existence, and begin believing in his omnipresence, and depending completely on his love and mercy, is when, and only when, your life will start taking off in a positive and fulfilling way !
Stay strong and resolute