My Dearest Son 22
by Bobbi Ann Duffy
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Not rated by the Author.
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For my freinds who have been waiting for the next installment of My Dearest Son. Here it is.
My Dearest Son,
I know that it has been a long time since I wrote you, but I have a valid excuse. After the last incident at the Barely Alive Estates, the neighbors held a meeting at the clubhouse and voted unanimously to evict us from the estates. The reason they gave was that we were causing too many disturbances and were bad for their image. I think the real issue was jealously on the part of the men and fear that their husbands would act the same for the women.
To make a long story short, we were unable to have the eviction noticed squashed, so I had to find us a new place to live. It was not an easy task because of all the publicity your grandfather had gotten. A senior citizen complex was out of the question because your grandfather told them all he was getting married and his future wife was pregnant with his child. Iím surprised he didnít get a T-shirt made about it.
I finally found a house in a small neighborhood. Fortunately no one in there speaks English so they have no idea who your grandfather is. The house is small but adequate. I had to handle the entire move because your grandfather refused to help me. He wanted to remain in the old house and fight it out. Do you have any idea how long it takes to pack up a pack rat? The man had receipts from World War II and refused to allow me to throw them out. In addition to the WWII papers, I found his rifle complete with bayonet, his mess kit and his count down calendar. I donít know if youíve ever seen one, but itís a drawing of a womanís body with thirty little blocks in it. You start at the day thirty and work your way down to day one the day youíre going home. Day thirty starts at the toe, Iím sure you can imagine where day one is. I also found a deck of cards featuring naked women that he carried into war with him. Needless to say it was not something I wanted to confront him with.
It too me almost three weeks to pack up the house, and another two weeks to unpack at the new house. Unfortunately, your grandfather took advantage of my preoccupation and managed to create a scene at city hall. He was protesting the garbage men not picking up our garbage after he threw rocks at them for some of it dropping out of the can and onto the lawn. I didnít know he had escaped until the noon news came on and I suddenly heard his voice. I looked up just in time to see a blocked out version of him mooning the mayor and council. I met him at the police station. I paid his bail and called our new lawyer.
At last I will come to the purpose of this letter. In your last letter you told me you were on permanent vacation from your new job. I take that to mean youíre out of work again. Since you are, I have a favor to ask. My psychiatrist has strongly suggested that I take a vacation from your grandfather. I agree that I need one. I would like for you to come and stay with your grandfather for a week or two so that I can get some rest. Normally, Aunt Esmerelda would stay with him on an occasion like this, but as you know she is doing time at the Federal Womenís Prison over her mailing me the gun and bomb making materials.
I have to close for now, my dearest. Iím tired and have only two hours before your grandfather sleeping pills wear off.
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|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|So my family is normal after all :-) Love it!|
|Reviewed by Vesna Perkovic
you sure did a great job here...love your sense of humour..
|Reviewed by jude forese
|lol ... cleverly hysterical ...|
|Reviewed by Barbara Terry
|OMG way too funny. I needed this laugh, Bobbi. And, if you can't move anywhere else, pick a neighborhood where a bow and a smile get you a long ways...giggle. Just too funny...giggle. Thnx for sharing, sis, I really enjoyed readig this.
May the Lord Jesus bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and at your side constantly. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister, Barbie
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
|Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*ģ
|This is an absolute riot, Bobbi! You really do have some wit ... thanks for the laughs!
Love & Light,
|Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
|This is too funny! Hilarious. I want to be part of this family. Me and grandfather would get along really fine. I would love to sit and pass the moonshine jug back and forth. That would calm the situation. With Miss Mamie and Miss Emily and their Recipe, me and grandfather would be forever soaring and storytelling on Walton's Mountain, drinking 'shine and playing poker with the Ace of girlie nudes. What a vision, Bobbi. Makes me smile tonight.
|Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
|hahahaha...I am so glad you started this again.
Wonderful! I think I know some people like that.
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|I remember when you did these, before. I was always amazed at how fantastic they were. I agree with Jerry. Maybe you should try sending them to a tv sitcom, Bobbi!;-)
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Love it...you are the greatest mom I swear!!
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
|Gotta love it. Makes me think of Hyacinth's father in the old British comedy "Keeping Up Appearances," and that ain't bad.|
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
This latest installment of "My Dearest Son" was worth waiting for; the best one, yet.
I loved the line, "...in your last letter you told me you were on permanent vacation from your new job. I take that to mean you're out of work again. ..." I laughed so hard, I 'bout fell off the chair. The paragraph descended into a quirky, endearing madness...thank you for the smiles this morning. :)
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
This is a hoot; well done! Thanks for the giggles early this morning! LOL BRAVA!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn.:D
I LUV the picture! :)