Tired of Proving Myself
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Friday, February 24, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Seething anger. Got to get it out before it burns me.
Having one of THOSE days. Three days in a row! ENUFF already.
why do i have to prove myself
in life, at work, in
i've been told i wouldn't amount
and i'm tired of struggling
in my abilities.
take work, for instance: i know i can do
the job, just
not dishwashing. it's about to
doesn't help that i'm allergic
to the soap
and sanitizing solution; my arms
are broken out; they hurt.
lifting heavy things, running back
and forth with plates
and being on my feet is wearing me out.
they're telling me
i'm doing fine, but i don't have the
same confidence level
as they do in me. they're saying they'll
me, but what I want to know is, WHEN??
and i write what i think is the best
ever written; it seems no one is
reading my words ...
and i know they are ... why do i depend
on your reviews to
make me think i am a poet?
God, I hate feeling like this.
(c) 2006, Karla Dorman.
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|Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
|I have come to the conclusion that sometimes we do need to do something else for a change. It seems to me that you, Karen, and I are in the same boat, even though our jobs are of different nature. Our feelings are the same.
I'm also very tired of proving myself, and I've come to the point where I don't care about anything anymore. I think you and Karen can understand what I'm going through.
Sandie May Angel :(
|Reviewed by jude forese
|as poets, we write from within our hearts ... not every poem is perfection nor may others find it as agreeable ... but we have no choice but to write on ... and on ... and on ...|
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Oh sister I can relate...and I am sure some others knows the feeling too!!
I aint no poet...so I don't have to proof myself on that level...but at least I get a chance to rid my anger and feelings!!
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
|Sage said, "Quality suffers if quantity rules" She is right, I fall into that same crap, my poem today is less quality because I felt I HAD to get it out. So it is out, but not as well-written as it should have been. Feel sorry for yourself for a few moments then kick sorry in the ass and do what you must do to be at peace with yourslef. Eileen is right too, quit yer bitchin'.|
|Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers
|Karla, Karla! We all have those days Sweetie, and you are damn well entitled to yours. Just don't let two of them fall together in a row.
I don't think anybody is reading anybody too much around here these days, well actually I think they may be reading they just aren't reviewing as heartily as they once did. Besides..you don't need a review to know how good you are as a writer..You are an old hand at this now..You know you are good, you know you are talented..Fly with it Friend..your gaining altitude!
Hope your day gets better Karla!
|Reviewed by Lori Moore
|You are certainly not alone.|
|Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
|Karla, critiquing ourselves is done on a reward system instead of a negative putdown. It totally immobilizes the writer and defeats the purpose. A reward system in place with each piece of material accepted as a gift, the writer rewards themselves with presenting it. If it's not to the writer's liking, then it should not be presented until the writer accepts it themselves. Quality needs to come first, not quantity. Writers don't have to post something everyday if the flow is not meeting their personal expectations. Quality suffers if quantity rules. Moreover, it reduces a writer's opportunities to showcase their work. You don't have to prove yourself.
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|Then it is time for a lesson in I am me and who the heck cares what anyone else thinks. Reviews are wonderful to recieve and critical feedback to the artists talent and growth but Karla, they pale in comparison to knowing that when you write somthing to paper and post it, your word becomes eternal. You are a poet, you do not need anyone to confirm that...that is why you keep on writing, now do I need to come down there and kick your butt or give you a hug? Keep on writing.
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|I have felt like that, regards the reviews, but I have also tried to not only get away from the feeling, but to cover it up...getting it out is the right thing to do...
Hey maybe go to your doctor and get a not from them saying that the soap is something you are allergic too and such and then they, your job, may tell you when it is they will transfer you to another position...Ed
|Reviewed by F William Broome
|Karla - Shut the hell up! Now, Sit Down! Snap out of it!
You will now silently and smoothly begin to compose, and will stay with it until finished. When complete,please share with us. - One of your friends and supporters out here.
|Reviewed by Susan Sonnen
|I've had a couple of crappy weeks myself and had to focus on the scripture: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12 Things are looking up now and I know they will for you as well. I'm praying for you. God bless.
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|"You are your own worst enemy" You know that idiom...you also periodically need to have people coddle you;-)So you write one of these "please make me feel good coddle me;-) but...you graduated to full poet some time ago, and I for one will no longer coddle you. Take your lumps like the rest of us;-)lol
|Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher
|Oh Karla, you do not depend, you MUST know that your writing is wonderful, the other things, well, it does get awfully tiredsome if you have to struggle every day, we hope, you and Karen will be transferred soon!!!
Until you feel better, lots of love and many many hugs for you!
Love, Birgit and Roger
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Believe me, I know how you are feeling. I hate the job I am doing now myself. Too much distraction, too much heavy lifting, spending hours on our feet, etc., etc. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (One GOOD thing: working with you! You make the day bearable--MUCH MORE!! Thank you for being there for me! :))
I hope they transfer me too; I am not cut out to do what I am doing now!
As far as you writing poetry, I think you are a lot better than I will ever HOPE to be! It really bothers me that I get a lot more reviews on my poetry than you do. Getting jealous or upset isn't going to help you OR me. I feel bad for you; I really do!
A powerful, no-holds barred write straight from the heart that clearly illustrates your frustrations of the moment; I hope and pray things improve for the BOTH of us!! Very well done; brava!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :( >tears <
|Reviewed by Peter Paton
|" You are only as good as your last result ", has always been my motto Karla, and once you reach the plateau where you no longer need to prove anything to anybody else,...... except yourself, then you are there !
You should pack that job in too Karla if its demoralising you as you say it is, and certainly if you are suffering from dermatitis because of the washing up liquids
We writers write for fun, enjoyment, enlightenment.....not perfection my dear friend, and the key word is enthusiasm....never let your enthusiasm run dry !
Full steam ahead, and In God We Trust !
And rest assured, we are reading your remarkable words of power Karla !
|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|The hardest critic is ourselves. Your'll be happier when you no longer have to prove it to yourself :-)
The working field can certainly drain us! I often end up with sore hands from being a cashier. heavy lifting since I bag everything. Yup its not a superstore. I am looking for a change too and it will be interesting to see what flows my way now that i am open to it.