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Meredith Dixon

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The Five Year Plan
by Meredith Dixon

Thursday, March 23, 2006
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Meredith Dixon
•  The Final Crushing of a Child
•  Remember I Was There
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•  We Wait For You
           >> View all 102

The Five Year Plan
doesn't sound so great to me
because you see
it's just too long
and I am not strong enough to wait
for some unknown date.

This Five Year Plan
would have been fine
when we were young
and I could wait
no, I wouldn't even hesitate.

There are more than you and me here
there is a little girl
who in five years
will be almost grown
and needs a Father now;
not five years from now.

You know that
yet you wait and let your cares get you down;
if I did that, I wouldn't take a chance
or even go outdoors!
If you loved this little twosome
wouldn't you somehow
make it work?

It's strange you don't ask me about options
maybe I don't have any say
in your five year plan
and my offers seem so weak.

I've heard these words before
about waiting five years
and it already caused tears
in her and me.

So the five year plan is out.
One at the most
because I was taught
that if you loved
you don't love alone
you love together
or not at all.

Don't the vows say "in sickness or in health"?
Don't the vows say "for richer or for poorer"?
Yes, I remember my Mother saying,
"Love doesn't buy the groceries"
it's true , I agree
love is not really free.

But to want this family
sacrifices can be made
for something worth while
for now; not later
later is too late
on your Five Year Plan.

So please understand
I am not trying to hurt
your feelings so deep
Have you no faith or a promise to keep?

I would choose love first
but then I am different from you
You don't really know all that we have been through
You don't need to know
You just need to realize
that across the miles
waits a Family for the having
it's frightening to know
how expendable we are to you.

But do not be dismayed because
I am strong
and I can count the trophies on the wall
of other men
who waited too long
or didn't speak up
or even pushed too soon.

In a flash we are here
in a flash we are gone.
I don't know your heart
or your mind or your soul.

But I know how I am
what I have wanted was the same
a home no matter how small
as long there was love and true caring;
gentle sharing.

I must warn you that this time that
this is not a game
of waiting too long
I am not that strong.

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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 3/23/2006
Powerfully emotive and meaningful, Meredith. Love, peace, and strength to you,


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