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Map of the World
by L. G. Figgins
Monday, March 27, 2006
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Is there such a genre as "fictional memoir"? This short-short was written sans dialogue, so I offer it as an exercise in prose. It took an unexpected turn but the muse will do that at times.... |
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The scent on her pillows. A combination of spice soap, tabacco and oranges coupled with the fruit, flower and amber blend of her perfume. Rinds balanced on the night table cupped his discarded seeds along with the single butt of a cigarette. Putting one out some twist it nervously into what looks like rope. Others smash it until its cold ends are a grotesque flower. Gathering the remains of a breakfast in bed, she recalled him twirling the fag lightly into the rind as he laughed. It hissed softly as the cherry was extinquished in the moist pulp. The smoke curled off his hand--incense to a god of mirth. Laugh lines branched to his temples. Tenderly she kissed them, felt the flutter of lashes on her cheek and a tremble under the lids as if she had switched on a bulb in the dark and he was adjusting to the light. The look in his eyes. A mixture of wonder and unease. With a hurried kiss, he dressed to leave.
Holding a pillow to her face she closed her eyes and inhaled their mutual breath. She remembered melting mouth-to-mouth. The way his hands journeyed the map of the world from her neck to the curve of her hip in leisured stops at points along the way, fingertips circling her skin in a sensuous trance. He cooed in a deep throated whisper. That night the moon was a blue saucer and its luminescence shone silver through the curtains. They swayed in slow dance with the wind. Made love as if it stopped time. Fell asleep front to back, two spoons nestled in a buffet, their hands woven as one...
The clock chimed eight times at the top of the hour. Opening her eyes she felt the bright stare of sun in the window. It burned square frames on the wood floor and sent her shadow fleeing across the room from the light. She counted each bong as the sound reverberated off the wall and assaulted her ears. Watched the pendulum swing back and forth and the hands move forward in micros. Listened for an eternity until it stopped. She took the linens from the bed, removed the pillow cases and folded them into the center of the sheets. Placed them in the washer, then ran her bath. She eased into the hot water, crying out in shock as it covered her cool skin. Steam rose in a shroud. A fly fell from its orbit around the room onto the faux marble vanity top and twitched and buzzed on its back in a seizure. Then it was still. She folded herself into a fetal position, arms around her bent knees, forehead resting in between. And she cried.
(c) Linda Gayton 2006
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| Reviewed by Pierre Ortega |
3/30/2006 |
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"The look in his eyes,a mixture of wonder and unease, with a hurried kiss he dressed to leave" You've described her sadness in the midst of her joy. This is so creative! You allways seem to capture so much emotion in your writing. Really enjoyed this. Pierre.
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| Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green |
3/28/2006 |
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| M a r v e l o u s |
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| Reviewed by Dale Clark |
3/28/2006 |
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This is a great genre and you've written
a passionate and bittersweet tale. It's
very moving and beautiful Lin! |
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| Reviewed by Dawn Richerson |
3/28/2006 |
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| you've got such talent with this form, Lin. engaging and moving. Dawn |
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| Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers |
3/28/2006 |
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This gives off many facets of love and life. And sadly, ending and death as well.
Lin, you do great work, and you should be very proud.
Excellence.
Lisa |
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| Reviewed by Tinka Boukes |
3/28/2006 |
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Most outstanding write!!
Love Tinka |
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| Reviewed by L. Figgins |
3/27/2006 |
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| No, Sherry. Two ships. One carried love in the hold... |
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| Reviewed by Sherry Heim |
3/27/2006 |
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This story is excellent. To me is seems like an affair with a married man and the emptiness that she suffers because of her love for him and his decision not to leave his family. Perhaps in her heart she feels that he is the love of her life and she is his private whore. There is lots of room for manufacturing the situation between these two which really made this a fun read.
Take care,
Sherry |
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| Reviewed by E T Waldron |
3/27/2006 |
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Lin, this blew me away! The end came as a surprise, but one that spoke to how so many situations are not what they seem...splendid
write and i agree you should do a book!
Eileen |
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| Reviewed by Felix Perry |
3/27/2006 |
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so beautifully poignant and sad, lovemaking seems to offer vague promises of love that isn't always there,you captured that well here my sweet friend.
Felix |
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| Reviewed by Nordette Adams |
3/27/2006 |
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| Well, I'm not at all surprised you excel at prose. And smart of you to post in poetry too, more people will see this wonderful writing here. :-) I like fiction but even I forget to check the short story sections at times. LOL. Okay, Lady. So where's that novel? ~~Nordette |
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| Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner |
3/27/2006 |
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Linda,
Captivating imagery draws the reader in to experience the powerful emotions...very well penned, I, too, am saving this one. Thank you!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. |
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| Reviewed by A PAX |
3/27/2006 |
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OMG Linda
You are some writer!!!
keeping this........so real!!!!
humbled.....bowing...smiling
Anita
a
Fan |
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| Reviewed by Peter Paton |
3/27/2006 |
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Linda
Full of emotion and passion, but with a sad ending...
Excellent and rivetting prose
Peter |
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