AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Kathryn Perry, iIolanthe Woulff, iMichael Csizmadia, iA.J. Mahari, iOralya Ueberroth, iRoland Allnach, iAndrew Feder, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Bobbi Ann Duffy

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Sponsor Me!
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· 134 Titles
· 1,160 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the Bobbi Ann Duffy Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
Bobbi Ann Duffy, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Featured Book
I Have A Reason To Smile
by R.E.E.S Blogs Linda Smith, Publisher

This book is about Poetry. Many different kinds of fables, short stories about life experiences, laughter, drama, children, humor, love, inspiration and some urban styles..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
The Divergence
by Sharyn Bradford Lunn

Book Two in the "Southern Skyes" family saga..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Democracy at Work
  2.  Over internet-ed...
  3.  This is Ed's computer talking...
  4.  From the Institute of Word-ology
  5.  Sunny Days and Mondays
  6.  SUCK...
  7.  Smile, Darn It
  8.  Mushmouth Kostro...
  9.  My Ass Is Grass
  10.  SHRIMPY
  11.  Summer Doth Approach...
  12.  Reincarnation
  13.  A Guitar
  14.  Have You Seen Ur-Anus?
  15.  Wednesday was 70 Degrees...
  16.  Kostro's always pickin' on me...AGAIN
  17.  The Toilet Seat
  18.  My Good Friday Procedure
  19.  Sadie Graylow
  20.  Confusion say: Men who play with selves r





My Dearest Son 15
by Bobbi Ann Duffy
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Bobbi Ann Duffy
•  Star Light
•  Anxiety Storm
•  Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
•  The War
•  Screaming Wouldn't Help
           >> View all 131

Since so many of you liked MDS 22, I thought I repost some of the other episodes while I'm busy writing my fantasy novel. I hope you Enjoy them.

Bobbi


 


 


My Dearest Son 15
by Bobbi Ann Duffy





Monday, May 12, 2003













For those of you who have missed Grandpa and the gang for the last few weeks. He's at it again!


Subj: My Dearest Son
Date: 3/14/2003 3:39:08 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: mailto:patience
To: mailto:wildchild.nomoola.com




My Dearest Son,

As you know I have always told you children that I am here for you no matter what time of day or night you might need me. You also know from experience that when such calls come in the middle of the night, I rise to the occasion through a veil of controlled hysteria. Such was my response to the ringing of the doorbell at four o'clock this morning. My heart jumped into my throat as my mind searched for reasons anyone would be at the door in the wee hours of the morning. My first thoughts were of your grandfather, as I explained in an earlier letter, he has been behaving too well for the last few weeks, but I could hear him snoring, so he was not the cause of the pounding that followed the knock. As I slipped on my nightgown, my mind locked on your sister, Daughter of the Morning Star, as the probable reason for the interruption in my slumber. At best, it would be her at the door, having forgotten her key when she moved out to life with Pietra. The hour suggested that she was now moving in with us again. If it was not her, then it concerned her, was my best guess. I made my way silently down the stairs to the living room hoping against hope that I was wrong. Since the outside light was on, I could see two figures through the frosted glass of the upper part of the door. Both were fairly large and male, so that let your sister out. I braced myself for what might be coming, and opened the door. Having had some experience with the police before, I was grateful that they hadn't approached the house with lights flashing and sirens screaming. Whatever else happened, there would be no gathering of neighbors across the street to bare witness. It was in that vein of thought that I invited the two plainclothes officers into the house. It would prove to be a huge mistake.
As I said, when I left my room, your grandfather was "cutting logs", as my grandmother used to say, so I gave no thought to what he might be up to. The officers and I hadn't even gotten to the reason for their visit before the ruckus began. I would find out later, that your grandfather got up to use the bathroom, and hearing voices jumped to the conclusion that there were burglars in the house. My Dear Son, you and I both know that a "normal" 75 year old, 5 foot 6 inch man would have retreated to the nearest phone and called 911. However, we both know that your grandfather is not the average 75 year-old. With stealth born of his years in the military and he recent behavior, he made his way down stairs and to the kitchen. Once there, he armed himself with the best weapons he could find. He chose a broom, a rolling pin and a butcher knife. How you ask did he manage to handle three weapons with only two hands? Imagine if you will the limited places a man in his BVDs can hide a weapon. Now, picture that weapon being a very large, very sharp butcher's knife. To move forward, the smaller of the two officers was talking when your grandfather pounced. Mickey Mantle would have been proud of your grandfather's pitch. Somewhere between, "reason" and "visit" the rolling pin came out of nowhere and hit its mark, namely, the back of the officer's head. Before he could finish the sentence, he was kissing the floor as if they were long lost lovers. Before the second officer could draw his weapon, your grandfather came out from behind the dining room/living room divider swinging the broom as if he was a martial arts expert (I really have to start monitoring what he watches on television.) Once disarmed of the broom, your grandfather seemed docile enough, so he wasn't frisked for additional weapons. They say that you never hear yourself scream when danger presents itself, in my case it was true . I watched in what I thought was silent horror as your grandfather reached behind his back and pulled the butcher's knife from its hiding place. It didn't take long for the issue to resolve itself; the cop had at least six inches and seventy-five pounds on your grandfather. Since, the cop on the floor hadn't regained consciousness and both the officer and your grandfather were bleeding from knife wounds, I called 911 and requested medical aid.
You know I never believed in the magic of the Blarney Stone, but your grandfather spoke as if he'd just kissed it. He was eloquent in his explanation of why they couldn't arrest him for assaulting a police officer. It turned out he was right, they were in plain clothes, and had not verbally identified themselves as police officers before or during the struggle. The conscious cop was irate, but your grandfather had, in fact, outsmarted him. It was then that a knock came at the door for the second time, assuming it was the emergency medical technicians I had requested, I flung the door open without looking to see who was there. Not that looking would have made a difference in the outcome. Both your grandfather and the cop attest that I screamed like a banshee "Ghost, be gone!" and then slid to the floor in a panicked faint. They also agree that if not for Mr. Spindleleg's fast reflexes, I would probably wound up with a severe concussion when my head hit the tile floor.
It seems that the events of the night were the result of the police doing Mr. Spindleleg and I a favor. He arrived at the police station to get directions to the house. When he explained about the reports of his death and subsequent immersion into shrinking chemicals, he didn't wait for permission from his employers, but came immediately back to the United States, and to our house. The police, trying to "protect and serve" discussed it and offered to escort him to the house and prepare me for the shock. They explain that they were concerned because of the stress I had been under of late I might not be able to handle seeing him without being forewarned. It seems they were right.
So this is how things stand, your grandfather was not arrested, both police officers were released from the hospital before noon, and Mr. Spindleleg is napping in the spare room. Please don't ask me what I'm going to do next because to be honest, I have no "freak'n idea" as your sister would say. I will tell you this, however, I have no intention of telling your brother about last night. He may carry out the threat he made in his last letter to change his name, re-enlist in the navy and tell every on his entire family was killed in a tsunami when he was six.
Well, My Dearest Son, I have to end this letter, I hear your grandfather and Mr. Spindleleg talking in the upstair's hall, I think I'll make a pot of coffee, then when neither of them is looking, spike it with Irish Whiskey. Since I don't drink, one cup should be enough to knock me out for the night. Jeez, I sure could use the rest.

Write soon.
Love always,
Mom

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher 3/29/2006
Thanks for re-posting this, it is brilliant,
Birgit and Roger
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 3/29/2006
Thanks for sharing...enjoyed this very much!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 3/28/2006
LOL glad I dropped by to see what your up to. I do enjoy these writes and have missed them.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 3/28/2006

I love it, Bobbi; nice to see these again! BRAVA! Funny stuff; thanks for the grins today! Very well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 3/28/2006
Sounds to be an enjoyable household, full of fun & mirth, any child should be both honored and relieved to have grown up and lived thru its experience...(personally I did not make it past twelve in our household, that is where my psychological profile states that I stopped growing...)and such a life it is at 51 when trying to do everything a twelve year old does...this write was most enjoyable, Bobbi, thanks for the evening grin & belly laugh...Ed & Rufuz (w00f)
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 3/28/2006
Bobbi,

Congratulations on the book; glad you're reposting these "Dearest Son" letters. Too funny! Love 'em. And you.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Felix Perry 3/28/2006
Deliciously funny, I can almost picture you there. lol

Felix



Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.