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Ed Matlack

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A guide to running a successful physical security program...  
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My Reality has always been Fantasy
by Ed Matlack
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
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I just wish that some would understand just how fantasy is a part and parcel of me...if I were once to accomplish one of my many fantasies, maybe all would tumble down like dominoes...but...




 

Since I was molested at age four,

My reality is fantasy, I know that’s the score,

Try though I do with every of strength ounce,

Off the walls of fantasy I just seem to bounce…


No one does this part of me understand,

This has been part of me like a gland,

All my life I have used fantasy to feel better,

To get to sleep, to be less than a dead letter…


I fully realize I live in reality,

But this has been good for my mentality,

Perhaps to some this is an abnormality,

To me though sometimes it has contributed to my vitality…



Don’t tell me I am wrong,

Don’t try to prove my insanity,

This has been me lifelong,

I don’t want to change,

If you are going to try,

Then leave me alone and let me shuffle by myself along…

© ed ~ 4/26/06
 

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Reviewed by Crystal Silver Angel (Reader)
Sweet one, precious angel, we do what we do to survive..I too was very abused physicaly and verbaly, emotionaly..I have tried to just zone out most my life with whatever fix....Your life is not in vain, remember it all happenens to gift stregth to help others..One thing has helped, well two things, one a good therapist and two an inner knowing who I am inside, that there is hope for me for all of us..I send you a snow white dove for healing..

Love from the dove, Jo
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Hey bro, we are what our thoughts make us..
Reviewed by Robert Blackwell
The first verse broke my heart into tiny shards. For the rest of it, I totally embrace the merging of fantasy and reality...it's how I cope best.
Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
Sometimes reality and fantasy are the same thing, Ed. Just admitting to the incident and being true to yourself is a wonderful feeling, so you go right on ahead and dream. That boat is in your future somewhere, I just know it! Water is very cleansing and healing. Blessed Be.

Sage
Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher
You are most definitly not alone, how else would we find so many other writers here! And don't even think about changing, it's not so good on the other side, from what we hear.
Birgit and Roger
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
All my life I have used fantasy to feel better,

And I think we could all benefit from doing that once in awhile, my friend. Without our dreams and fantasies, this would truly be a boring life.
Reviewed by Marisha Huber
When I was fourteen I went to a psychologist who insisted that I wear a rubber band around my wrist. Every time I began falling into my fantasy world I had to snap the rubber band - to snap myself out of it. Well, I ended up with a lot of welts on my wrist, but it never did 'cure' me of my infliction.

Here's to us wall bouncers! May we forever live in the world of our choosing!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Oh the world of fantasy is much brighter than the one we live in Ed!!

I think our dreams and fantasies sometimes makes us believe we are not bad eggs at all!!

love Tinka
Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green
I am with you, Ed! Better to be an ostrich than to look up and
have sand kicked into your eyes until you are blind. Me, I can't
deal with great chunks of reality. Even little ones tend to chokd. Have to dilute the poison with fantasy. Y E S. What is imagination for but to transport us to lands where beauty and selflessness and peace and gentle laughter {yes, and belly laughs} are not catchwords, but actually exist. Where
fabulous colors and fantastic creatures enliven and delight and
no one -- NO ONE -- EVer THINKS about hurting a CHILD. . .anyone,
for that matter. Keep dreamin', darlin', keep dreamin'. Some
of your dreams, I just know, will come true. Luv 'n' Hugs, 'Pea' <3
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