AuthorsDen.com  Join (free) | Login 

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Cheryl Sellers, iP Lewis, iBob Mitchley, iC. Holcomb, iTuchy (Carl) Palmieri, iDr. Ulla Sebastian, iEdmond Humm, i
  Home > Action/Thriller > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Mr. Ed

· Become a Fan
  Notify me of new titles
  added by this author.

· 1,803 titles
· 27,175 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
·
Member Since: Apr, 2003

   Sitemap
   My Blog
   Success Story
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

Books
· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

· Cemetery Island

· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals


Short Stories
· The Dog At The Drive-Thru Window

· Home For The Holidays

· Two Bonded Street Orphans, In From The Cold

· A Survivor's Tale

· Pigs, Turtles, and Bugs!

· Gentle Cemetery Dog Finally Safe

· Freezing, Starving, and Scared

· A Home For The Holidays

· The Dog On The Tracks

· The Dog Who Rescued Other Dogs


Articles
· Ghost Dog Rescued From Hot Dog Stand

· February is 'National Spay/Neuter Awareness' Month

· The 2014 Home 4 The Holidays Campaign

· Saving Our Canine Vets, This Veterans Day

· November is 'Adopt-A-Senior-Pet' Month

· National Pit Bull Awareness Day

· Keep Your Pets Safe This Halloween

· October is 'Adopt-A-Dog' Month

· Pet Theft Is On The Rise

· The Humane Society of Louisiana


Poetry
· Nature's Free Gifts

· On Frozen Pond

· We Are Their Voice

· Happy Paczki Day!

· Another Innocent Soul Out In The Cold And Snow

· Feeding My Feathered Friends

· Day Dreaming In The Snow

· About Twenty Inches of Snow

· If Only Man Was Dog's Best Friend

· Canis Latrans

         More poetry...
News
· Chicken Soup for the Soul: Loving Our Dogs

· The Daily Mews

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Another Review For Curious Creatures-Wondrous Waifs

· Recipient of the 2006 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award

· International Writing Award

· My Animal Book Wins an Award

Mr. Ed, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

  The Cookie War Chronicles
by Mr. Ed
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.

Share   Print   Save Become a Fan


Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Nature's Free Gifts
•  On Frozen Pond
•  We Are Their Voice
•  Happy Paczki Day!
•  Another Innocent Soul Out In The Cold And Snow
           >> View all 1,509





-->

“A desperate cry from Cookieville


Was heard through out the land


An ogre by the name of Ed


Crushed cookies by the hand”


 


From a Diabolical Poem by A Pax,


Entitled, ‘Ed Kostro, The Cookie Killer,


Part 2 of Cookies Gotz No Brains or Do They’


 


 


 


The Year:  2016


The Place:  The Outskirts of the Once Happy Hamlet of Cookieville


 


 



 


This war has now raged on


For the last 10 very bloody years


Making a once jolly old ogre like me


Want to weep into my cookies and beer


 


I had once been extremely content


To devour a tiny Cookie Person or two


Only periodically raiding lovely Cookieville


I was a very happy ogre - I was never ever blue


 


Then an extremely fiendish human being came along


Who convinced these foolish Cookie People to fight back


Soon she taught them how to bake cookie decoys using cement


Now she is known far and wide as their leader – they call her A Pax


 


I had to have each and every one of my bloody teeth pulled


After I bit into those cement cookie decoys that very bloody day


So soon I had stainless steel incisors implanted in my cavernous mouth


Vowing that every cookie on Earth - for their vile treachery would now pay


 


So thus began the Great Cookie-Ogre War


And their leader had just begun her nasty tricks


Soon she had them baking cookie decoys with pins


Gaseous ingredients Ex-Lax and sharp jagged sticks


 


I now had to have my entire pummeled stomach encased in bronze


And I could no longer feed tasty Cookie People tidbits to my hounds


It was just too dangerous - so they ran off - with the Ice Cream Ogre


And now I’m by far the most bitter and the very loneliest ogre around


 


And to make matters even worse than they were


For my bulging bronze belly I could find no pants


Not even Manny’s Big Ogre Shop could help me now


Which irritated me beyond belief into a most violent rant


 


But to hell with wearing any pants these days


Now I have only one wretched desire in this vile life


I will devour each and every last cookie on planet Earth


Only then will I find some peace from this most hellish strife


 


And I’ve just sadly learned through the Very Disgruntled Ogre Grapevine


That A Pax now conspires with Martha Stewart to bake more noxious decoys


They are probably whipping up some very poisonous cookie decoys right now


Martha obviously learning how to make them in prison from nasty girls and boys


 


 


So Bring It On, Miss Very Diabolical Human A Pax,


I will keep devouring  every single cookie that I can find,


Gooey, crispy, crunchy, noxious, and yes, even cement flavored,


Your Followers, These Tiny Cookie People, Are Definitely All Mine!


 


 


MUUHAAHAAHAAHAA


 


&


 


SLURP SLURP BUURP…


 


 


Got Milk?


 


 


©2016, Ogre Ed


 


 


 

 


Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!




Reviewed by Helen Downey 6/21/2006
This is really great! Hope to read more about THE COOKIE WAR CHRONICLES!!!
Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher 6/19/2006
Those cookie chronicles developed in something fascinating! This is really fantastic!
BB&R
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 6/18/2006
Goodness me... fate worse than death to be in the belly of a bronze Jonah with no pants... no, I take that back... a fate worse than death to OBSERVE the belly of a bronze Jonah with no pants... The cookies must have died of shock before even a bite was took... Well, my mind is made up... Girl-power PAX dicates that I go fetch that hunky Woodman with his Axe... What big teeth you HAD Daddio..... Yep, I'm signin up for the C.L.E.A.V.A.G.E.... Cookie Liberation Extremists Acting Versus Antagonistic Grotesque Ed... !! Kleavage Kate xx
Reviewed by E T Waldron 6/18/2006
LOLLOLLOL!!! This is amazing! So glad I didn't miss it! It sounds like you have taken on the role of the worlds cookie tyrant! What can we expect now? Poor cookies in the middle of a war,and we the onlookers not knowing whch side to take.He-------lp!
Reviewed by Taylor Ryan 6/17/2006
You've got the competitive edge with this one..looking forward to the next installment cookieman!
Taylor
Reviewed by Crystal Silver Angel (Reader) 6/17/2006
I'm with Kate...

Xxx dove
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 6/17/2006
Be really careful about the milk...............

LOL what a delight to come back to :-)
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 6/17/2006
This can only get better!!

Waiting for the follow-up!!

Love Tinky
Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson 6/17/2006
LOL! And thus the great Cookie War began! To eat the cookies ... or not? It would seem that Ogre Ed, wouldn't be the only one enjoying ye olde cookie batches! Can't wait to find out what will happen. Good job Ed and Anita! I'm really enjoying the humor!
Reviewed by Paul Williams 6/17/2006
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL this gonna start getting interesting lol. I love this Ed I'm chuckling like a good'un. Anita's gonna comeback with something equally off-the-wall for sure. 'Cry havoc! and let slip the Dog's of War' Most Excellent!



Paul;-)
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 6/17/2006
LOL Too funny, Ed; thanks for the grins today! Very well done; bravo!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 6/17/2006
LOLOLOL Let the wars begin! Can't wait for the volleying shot from Lady A and your response. A grand series!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Connie Hinnen Cook 6/17/2006
Sounds like Big A is ready to take you on in this!
What fun! I enjoyed this a lot.
Reviewed by Chrissy McVay 6/17/2006
Made me smile...
Reviewed by A PAX 6/17/2006
I am pissing in my pants here!!!
wooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
laughing so hard, cannot drink my coffee!!!
You have thrown down the gautlet, (covered in cookie slime btw) and I, the noble warrior queen A Pax, (*Pax means peace in latin) so accept, the honor of protecting defenseless cookies round the world, they have been undervalued for their intelligence, all they lacked was guidence, and I accept with honor and humble hart, the task of helping them defeat the forces of fat! lol......lucky they have poor vision because I am fat, and might run from me in fear too ........muuhaahaa........

Ed
loved this

You toothless, bronze demon

The war is on!!!

Beware!!!

Muuhaahaaa

pax........no cannot say pax anymore


charge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Big A!!!
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 6/17/2006
I have a friend, his name is Sigmund, and he finds this cookie fixation thing of yours to be quite interesting, you should seriously seek psychological help, big brother...you are slowly falling off the deep end...;) Ed
Reviewed by L. Figgins 6/17/2006
Lol!!!!!!!!!!!! Knew Martha had a hidden agenda. Oh Ed, you are priceless. Thanks, Anita, for inspiring this creation...

Lin
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 6/17/2006
enjoyed the read
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 6/17/2006
Do you know the muffin man...............
Cookies are safe in England as we don't have them.
But you do take the biscuit....
What did the cookies mum say, after seeing Ed eat her only son..."Crumbs!" Sorry oldest goldest...
Reviewed by Peter Paton 6/17/2006
Ed
This sounds the like the cookie war has started in earnest, all we need now is the dastardly Andy to turn up, and put a fly in the mix...:)
Great stuff Ed and Anita...
Peter
Reviewed by George Carroll 6/17/2006
It doesn't take much to set your muse in motion and A Pax has pushed all the right buttons.

Books by
Mr. Ed



My Dog Is My Hero

Buy Options
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




Where The Redwing Sings

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




Cemetery Island

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




Gold River Canyon

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




Mystery of Madera Canyon

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, more..



Popular
Poetry
(Action/Thriller)
  1. A Little Persuasion Warms My Heart
  2. Body Quakes
  3. Falling
  4. No Problems
  5. True Friends
  6. He Took A Bath Once
  7. Sunny Days and Mondays
  8. Fly by the Moon
  9. Quandary
  10. One-Sided Conversation
  11. Scumbag Satan
  12. Snowballs!
  13. Inevitable
  14. spiraling
  15. SERIOUSLY...
  16. HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... B
  17. About Twenty Inches of Snow
  18. Christmas Scat
  19. Ego
  20. Waterfall




Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.