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Mr. Ed

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· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

· Cemetery Island

· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

Short Stories
· The 4th of July Kittens

· The Easter Skunk

· The Dog At The Drive-Thru Window

· Home For The Holidays

· Two Bonded Street Orphans, In From The Cold

· A Survivor's Tale

· Pigs, Turtles, and Bugs!

· Gentle Cemetery Dog Finally Safe

· Freezing, Starving, and Scared

· A Home For The Holidays

· Very Sadly, Not Much Has Changed In The Last Ten Years

· June is 'Adopt A Cat Month'

· I Am a Dog, Not a Thing

· Ghost Dog Rescued From Hot Dog Stand

· February is 'National Spay/Neuter Awareness' Month

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· Saving Our Canine Vets, This Veterans Day

· November is 'Adopt-A-Senior-Pet' Month

· National Pit Bull Awareness Day

· Keep Your Pets Safe This Halloween

· Ode to Scruffy

· Three Tiny Terrified Souls

· Their Abysmal Fourth of July

· Rainy Day Walkabout

· My Buddy

· It's Pet Appreciation Week

· Another Lesson From A Dog

· Just Nature

· It's Poppy Time Once More

· Please Don't Worry So Much, H.P.

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· Chicken Soup for the Soul: Loving Our Dogs

· The Daily Mews

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Another Review For Curious Creatures-Wondrous Waifs

· Recipient of the 2006 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award

· International Writing Award

· My Animal Book Wins an Award

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Books by Mr. Ed
  The Cookie War Chronicles, Chapter 3
by Mr. Ed
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Ode to Scruffy
•  Three Tiny Terrified Souls
•  Their Abysmal Fourth of July
•  Rainy Day Walkabout
•  My Buddy
           >> View all 1,524


“What kind of ogre am I?

What do I know of life?

Why can't I cast away these cookies,

And just start living my life?

Why can't I just stop eating them,

Till I just don't give a damn?

And maybe then, I’d finally know,

What kind of ogre I really am.”


From An Old Ogre’s Song




I was lost in my Cookie-Ogre War thoughts

Deep in the black bowels of my old ogre cave

When that dreadfully cheery Postman arrived

With a package that he said I would truly crave


As I held this heavy bundle in my hairy arms

I sniffed a very heavenly aroma from deep within

I now drooled feverishly and excitedly tore it open

We Cookie Ogres ‘on the scent’ cannot hide our sin


And what should this ravenous Cookie Ogre find

But an autographed picture of A Pax herself inside

With dozens of scrumptious freshly baked cookies

I was now tempted to put away my foolish ogre’s pride


There was also a very lovely note inside the huge box

That proclaimed Queen A Pax now finally wanted a truce

And just as I was about to devour this lovely peace offering

After all these dreadful years of war - I suddenly felt - Foot Loose


As I soon merrily danced all around my cave savoring the moment

My cavernous hungry ogre’s mouth now severely drenched in drool

I instinctively began forcing myself out of my sheer and utter ecstasy

I somehow sensed more sinister treachery – this old ogre ain’t no fool


I dropped that box of poisonous cookies on the filthy cavern floor

And watched in horror as my new pet ate a cookie crumb and died

My heart was once again shattered - I had loved my little Spiderilla

And oh how this wretched old drooling Cookie Ogre now sadly cried


Yet More Treachery from this truly Evil Queen

Yet More Misery for this Wretched Cookie Ogre

As I buried my sweet Spiderilla near the old swamp

I knew in my heart that this war would never be over


Sleep Sweetly My Sweet Sweet Tiny Spiderilla

I shall bring you fresh flowers each and every day

And I your distraught Cookie Ogre Now Vow to Avenge You

For Your Untimely Death – This Very Wicked A Pax Will Pay



What kind of fool am I?

What do I know of life?

Why can't I cast away this Cookie War,

And once again start living my life?

Why can't I just stop writing these,

Till I just don't give a damn????

And maybe then,

Perhaps only then,

I’d finally know,

What kind of fool I really am…



©2006, A Very Teary-Eyed Ogre Ed





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Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher 6/27/2006
Oh yes, more Ogre and cookie and cookie and, let me just run get a cookie...
Reviewed by Paul Williams 6/26/2006
LOl Ed, beware the demon baker bearing gifts. Try the old Trojan cookie monster on her lol.

Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot 6/25/2006
I have just this to say Ed...
C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me, C is for Cookie that's good enough for me, C is for Cookie that's good enough for me, OHHHHH Cookie cookie cookie starts with C, Ummmmummmummm.

Who loveth Cookies and Cookie Monster lolol.
Reviewed by Sherry Heim 6/25/2006
I nearly missed this, Ed because of the name change, then I happened to catch the title. I knew I was missing something when I read Pax_A's most recent chapter and she spoke of Spiderella and the poisioned cookies and I had no idea who that was. This ongoing saga is really fun...I wait with baited breath for your next entry.
Take care,
Reviewed by E T Waldron 6/25/2006
Talk about drama to the! what good is an ogre without a evil cause, guess you have to make a decision whether to be good lil eddie or rotten ogre ed;-) Nevr a dull mo...
Reviewed by Ken Colonsay 6/25/2006
Trollish cookie ogre poem that made me laugh.
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 6/25/2006
good one
Reviewed by Chrissy McVay 6/25/2006
Please don't stop! Readers are enjoying this poetic duel (drool?) between you and Queen Apax. As long as there are cookies left in the world, fight on brave soldier, fight on!!!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 6/25/2006
Awwwww...I know this is suppose to be fun..but I did lose 7 of mine feline babies today....mamma "Spokie" just did not feed them for some reason...and all died!!

Love Tinky :(
Reviewed by L. Figgins 6/25/2006
lol!!!!!!!!I want to hear you croon that tune. They say revenge is sweet. I'm with Ed & Rufuz, don't come here either. We've got Big Foot! It stinks to high heaven allready. For all your faults, you're a great writer, Ogre. Love it!

Reviewed by Ed Matlack 6/25/2006
Damn if I can find a rhyme for ogre, so I will just say, if you need to get away from this war, try relocating, anywhere, just not NJ...we already have the Jersey Devil..."He & Me"
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 6/25/2006
But at the end of the day Mr Ogre. Rebecca will be pleased waking up to a new bloke with, Well we all know he only had a little. (darn hit post review to early)
Reviewed by William Bonilla 6/25/2006
A very Kool Write Rd

Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 6/25/2006
Oh Ed, this was so delightful to read, you are such an excellent poet, I just loved this! poor spiderella!

Reviewed by Sandie Angel 6/25/2006
Hahahaha! What a fun read this is! I really like what you and Queen PAX are doing. Oh I'll have to catch up on so many of my readings in the den.

A delightful read!

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)

P.S. I'm just feeling much better this morning from the flu, I think it is finally gone! ...but now...I think it is hubby's turn for the flu.

Reviewed by Peter Paton 6/25/2006
Ogre Ed...;)

That wicked and calculating Lady Queen A Pax has the upper hand just now, and it is time that you turned the tables on her..
Poor Spiderilla died a ghastly and untimely death at the hands of the Cruella of the Cookies...
I say give her a taste of her own medicine in the most unexpected way...;)
Love it !
Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope) 6/25/2006
Great humor story/poem. Spiderilla deserves more flowers on her tomb. Well done ed. i love the your style mand articulation.
Reviewed by A PAX 6/25/2006
just wait

just wait!!!



good queen a pax


love your poem!!!!!!!!

ding dong............special delivery, huh?

Reviewed by J M 6/25/2006
LOL this is so wonderful full of humor I see it is a seies I need to catch up thanks for the smiles and warm thoughts this morning.
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