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Mr. Ed

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  The Cookie War Chronicles, Chapter 5
by Mr. Ed
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Not rated by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Just Nature
•  It's Poppy Time Once More
•  Please Don't Worry So Much, H.P.
•  Meatloaf Matlack
•  A Walk With Dogs
           >> View all 1,518


“The dragons flew from Cookieville

The Moldies danced with glee

And sang a song of triumph



From a Poem By Evil Queen A Pax,

The Darkest Hour of Sweetest Power



Thank God my hounds had now returned

They soon sniffed treachery in the setting sun

And Thank God that I was this year’s humble host

Of The First Annual Intergalactic Ogre Convention


Just as I opened the very gala festivities

A swarm of evil dragons came swooping in

And atop each winged demon rode a Moldy Cookie

Yet another attack by Cookieville was about to begin


My friends and I swiftly raced to the battle tower

I was so very glad that they were all right here

And with this valiant company of ogres by my side

I knew in my heart and soul that I had nothing to fear


First there was Steel Beak the Magnificent Metal Ogre

Who happened to hail from the distant planet of Minerve

On his home world the moldier the food the better he liked it

So he began picking off these Moldy Riders like hors d’oeuvres


Then there was Captain Vaporizer the Very Valiant

Who hailed from the very distant galaxy of Valinium

As the evil dragons came swooping in by the dozens

He flared his nostrils and sucked our attackers right in


We were also in the company of Toad Tongue Traxilius

He hailed from the subtropical world of Bizzaromandily

Traxilius stood as tall as the mountains we now battled in

And he began slurping up these cookie dragons with glee


Finally standing so gallantly by our side throughout the battle

Was a very dear old friend of mine named Lizard Lazarius Ogre

Who scooped up Moldies threatening to flatten them like pancakes

So most of them told us what we needed to know before it was over


“It was all A Pax’s idea…Honest…”


Alas the fiendish cookie queen was behind this attack

But none of us were very surprised by this horrific news

It seems that even ogres from the far reaches of the universe

Have to deal with extremely wicked and deceptive queens too


But I’ll get by with a little help from my friends
I’ll still be around with a little help from my friends
This ogre’s gonna try with a little help from my friends


“Please Pass the Milk, Steel Beak the Magnificent,

And One of those Scrumptious Hors d’oeuvres!”


Dunk, Chomp, Slurp, BUUUURP…



©2006, Ogre Ed, Humble Host of The First Annual Intergalactic Ogre Convention







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Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher 7/3/2006
Love those chronicles even more than cookies!
Reviewed by Chrissy McVay 7/3/2006
Fantastic addition to the Cookie War Chronicles!
Reviewed by Helen Downey 7/1/2006
You are too much! Thanks for sharing such a wonderful read.

Reviewed by Sherry Heim 6/30/2006
Let the trial be set!!! I am guessing that it will be found that there is foul play in both arenas...perhaps the jury will sentence you both to thirty days in the hole...together!!!..heheheh I am betting that with Queen Pax in there with you, and with her "magical powers" enoloyed, you will emerge a sparkling example of kindness and light and your name will be changed to Stepford Ed.
Take care,
Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson 6/29/2006
Intergalactic Ogre Convention? Steel Beak the Magnificent? Toad Tongue Traxilius? Sooo imaginative and funny! Ogre Ed, you're good!
Reviewed by Taylor Ryan 6/29/2006
Make mine Oatmeal Raisin...hold the mold!
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 6/29/2006
Looks like I'm with Andy on this one... tic,tac,toe and all that... Methinks Girl Power will win the day over any uglies (oops... did I say that??!!) cos we is sugar and spice and all things nice, but of course. Anyway, where there's muck there's brass as we Brits always say... so Andy is sending the hat round and I'm the Umpire counting seconds away Round 7... and can you wash under your arms before coming into my Boxing Ring, please... Thanks everso... Bantamweight Kate xx
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 6/29/2006
keep 'em coming
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 6/29/2006

Sandie May Angel :o)
Reviewed by L. Figgins 6/28/2006
Lol!!! Now the heavens are entrenched in this war. You may think the battle is won, but don't count your cookies just yet. Methinks the Queen is as stubborn as she is clever. Brilliant, Ed!
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 6/28/2006

Ed, this is so good, this series...enjoy the cookies, my friend. Just save me one?

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :)
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 6/28/2006
Awwwwww...keep up the beat...or face!!

Love Tinky-supporting Ogre Ed :)
Reviewed by E T Waldron 6/28/2006
What can I say ogre ed, you astound us all, but I do miss nice lil eddie;-)perhaps someone of true peace will come and end this war. But I hope not before we get to read some more from your incredible imaginative moldy mind. You have a worthy opponent who is holding her own, is this one of those entrenched wars;-)Write on!

tiger lily
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 6/28/2006
I will take those odds, Andy...

Your imagination always astounds me, Ed...E & r
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 6/28/2006
Dear Andy and Peter,

Surely you can see how evil the 'Good Queen' is. Would a dying Moldy Cookie Lie????!!!!!!!!
Reviewed by Peter Paton 6/28/2006
Ogre Ed
There is a very fine line between good and bad cookies, and the distinctions are becomig more blurred by the daily encounter..
Just who is the hero or the villain in this swashbuckling tale would require the attentions I fear of Inspector Clouseau himself..
Anyone seen Peter Sellers leave the room...:)
Reviewed by A PAX 6/28/2006
I am laughing at your feeble attempts to blame me for this Ogre Ed. We all know the truth now, horn tailed greedy one of the cave. So have reinforcements?? And want to torture cookies further, while GOOD QUEEN A PAX, rots in a teflon prision?

you are evil, evil and very bad

you snookerdoole sucker snake!

I shall be triumphant..........

Good shall prevail

Ogres suck the big one!

Bite me!

ahhhhhhh did u do this great pc art??? I love it!! I want to learn!!! I only did it once,........but u are a master
anyway......enough of being nice

you and your ogres..............
just wait......

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 6/28/2006
Sounds more like from the planet Valium....

I think we need to find out who is being honest.

I recommend the dunking chair, with concrete, if you float you'll be innocent... My betting shop is now open. 100/1 you survive 1000/1 on you don't.....

Books by
Mr. Ed

Where The Redwing Sings

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My Dog Is My Hero

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Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

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Cemetery Island

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Gold River Canyon

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Mystery of Madera Canyon

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  1. Loss
  2. The red ink flower tree
  3. The Shredding Machine
  4. True Friends
  5. Body Quakes
  6. Womanhood
  7. Falling
  8. Mud Pups
  9. Have I told you I LOVE YOU today?
  11. Quandary
  13. Inevitable
  14. Bubble Slaves
  15. About Twenty Inches of Snow
  16. spiraling
  17. Hope Reawakened
  18. A Lovely Day For A Swim
  19. Vultures of the Most Despicable Kind
  20. Enchantment

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