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  Home > Humor > Poetry
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Ian R Thorpe

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Books
· Age Of Certainty

· Age Of Certainty

· Blöd Ties

· The Best Of Boggart Blog (vol 1)

· Dimensions of Mystery

· A Two Faced Poet

· Millennium Dawn (anthology)

· A Stroke of Luck


Short Stories
· Bloodaxe Corner

· The Kiss

· Psycho Benefit Fraud

· The Vegetarian Shoemaker Of Barking

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #7

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #3 (Adult Humour)

· The King of the Ribble Delta Blues Singers (humour)

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 19

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 18

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 17


Articles
· Freedom Of Speech And Information - Why It Is So Important

· The Science Fraud: Many Scientific Research Papers Are Pure Gobbledegook

· Maybe You Should Think About Getting a Tinfoil Hat After all

· Merry Atheistmas

· High Brasil: Fairy Tale Or Atlantis

· Captive Minds And Intellectual Cowardice

· Is The Universe Helping Us Think

· Deliberately Wrecking Our Environment

· Why War Is Inevitable

· Helping The Mind Cope With Stress


Poetry
· We Made Love

· The Hands Of Old People

· Time Travellers

· The Pompous Toad

· Bye Bye Blackbird (parody)

· Sleepless Nights Of A Little boy

· Fitness Fanatics Blues

· The Goddess - Anima Mundi

· Spider

· Different Clothes

         More poetry...
News
· Seasons Greetings

· Poetry Life and Times Interviews Janet Caldwell

· Ian Thorpe on Christian Radio. Unbelieveable

· Season's Greetings

· July Poetry Life and Times

· Poetry Life and Times

· Ian's Audio online at last (specially for halloween)

Ian R Thorpe, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

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by Ian R Thorpe
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Not rated by the Author.

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Recent poems by Ian R Thorpe
•  Sandanista
•  THEM (poem noir)
•  A Chronicle of Decay
•  Songs of Glory (anti - war)
•  Feel The Burn
           >> View all 183


Another little gem from the "Dummies Guide to the Human Body" collection. Its time we all remembered life can be fun.


The bottoms a rather strange thing,
but its design is very clever.
Without it legs would feel lonely,
they'd have nowhere to get together.

Your bum is the body's best idea,
it helps people sit in a chair.
Without it body and arms and legs
would float about in mid air.

Women look after their bottoms
but can become somewhat obssessed,
asking "does my bum look big in this?"
each time they put on a dress.

But a man tends to neglect his bottom,
allowing it to droop and to sag,
until the seat of his trousers
looks like a mailman's bag.

 

 

 

 


Guaranteed to get things moving


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Reviewed by CJ Heck 11/11/2006
LOLOL, this is hysterical, Ian! I love how your mind works. Thank you so much for the smiles!
Warmest regards,
CJ
Reviewed by Nordette Adams 8/5/2006
LOL. Yeah, you forget about your tush until someone plants an arrow in it. ;-)
N.
Reviewed by Miss Pandora 7/31/2006
Hysterical laughter! LOL. Loved it. Panda :)
Reviewed by Paul Williams 7/28/2006
LOl, I think I'll forego any obvious bum reference jokes etc in this review Ian, except to say, for some reason it brings to mind 'Spinal Tap's' 'Big Bottom' which I'm singing to myself in my head at this moment LOL...do I need help? (that's a Yea!)LOl.
Excellent bit of humour.


Paul;-)

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 7/28/2006
Whahahahaha...pull up your pants Ian!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 7/27/2006
Ian, you are priceless.

See what all this heat is doing to you?



Love it. ROFL



Reviewed by Victor Dean (Reader) 7/27/2006
Sigh, now I have to begin to watch my butt. Will this self-inspection never end? LOL Kidding, cute poem.

Books by
Ian R Thorpe



Blöd Ties





A Stroke of Luck





Millennium Dawn (anthology)

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