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Peter Paton

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The Snail on the Wall
by Peter Paton

Monday, July 31, 2006
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Peter Paton
•  The Silent Flute
•  On Our Distant Horizons
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•  The Way We Were
•  The Ravages of Time
           >> View all 349


" To understand everything is to forgive everything "

Buddha

..................................................................................

 

I took a detour down a surburban lane this evening

always liking, to mix up and change my route

purple berried berberis growing along the path

as I slipped along, walking with grace and style

and there he was, walking along the high wall

a slow moving snail, with his house on his back

raised antennae, sensing his cautious way along

demonstrating to me, that incredible feats are possible

further along the trail, a fledgeling wren took shaky flight

and crashed into the opposing wall, rebounding groggily

teaching me vividly, if you want to go somewhere

then you better quickly open your eyes

I am a free spirit, and this bird will never be caged

moving in and out of your dreams, with consummate ease

the night air was fresh, and the breeze was rustling the willows

as I ventured on down, to a quiet and secluded park

while within this adventurer's heart, I could envisage your face

you are the star that shines brightest, in the mid summer skyline

and I know you want to be with me, it is written in your hand

I settled on a bench, with a grandstand view of the glasshouse

with dazzling dahlias and chrysanthemums winking at me

I envisioned your majestic form, as you moved in real close

and felt your fingers, lovingly stroking the nape of my neck

as you reached over and kissed me sublimely

and whispered to me dreamily

darling, I want to be where you are

 

Copyright By Peter Paton 2006
  
The Snail on the Wall
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Reviewed by Kate Burnside 8/2/2006
The snail is such an appropriate visual for this delicate and yet determined write, Peter. I can truly FEEL this at all levels as, as a child, I had a fixation with garden snails that I found beneath the clinging ivy on walls and loved the feel of them slowly climbing all over my hands. This is special for me, and your combining it with messages of love seem to me wholly wonderful. Tenacity at it's best. This also brings to mind a quote from a Richard Price poem: "In your generous hours" -

"allow to exist / the ledge, as a place of/ flowers...

oh, you better relax, / you're attached to the / universe/ by the tenderest of / chances: / make allowances. / Allow me."
Reviewed by K Quills 8/2/2006
You have shown that there is extraordinary beauty in strange or ordinary (urban) places - has a sense of the supernatural or divine-in-nature. Luminous & vivid imagery and overall inspiriting to read.
Reviewed by Taylor Ryan 8/1/2006
I am finally home again and what a treasure I have discovered here upon my return.
That little snail carries quite a burden, but he's in no hurry taking one day at a time in peace and pace...he has all he needs on his back and he goes where he may akin it all in, while the poor wren is socked with impatience, such that she cannot even see where she is going. HIts the wall!
Now look what I've done so innocently...given gender to your creatures!
And yes you, the free spirit may take your house upon you one day in time, and soar more as the watchful hawk never to be caged or foolish, yet absorbing the fragrance of every flower along the flight.
How interesting you the free spirit envisions your love interest in this dream of flight...and exceptional that you see her in the beauty of the flowers you so love and can feel her touch and hear her words in the breeze.
Such an alluring blend of nature and romance in true Paton style.
Love,
Taylor
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 8/1/2006
Nature and au natural combo. Delightful blend..
Reviewed by Susan de Vegter 8/1/2006
Your romance with nature and your beloved invites us all to peek at the passion of a genuine love...of both. Metaphors and tenderness that comes from your pen....straight from your dedicated heart....blesses me with each read. I'll keep this one if ya don't mind.
Susan
Reviewed by Phillip William Allen 8/1/2006
Entwined thoughts very well penned.
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 8/1/2006
Unique N Different--Me I Just Want To Be Off This Planet Earth!

TRASK
Reviewed by richard cederberg 8/1/2006
Aside from the consistent beauty of your writes, and your wisdom about flora and fauna, I noticed in this construct that you , consciously or sub-consciously, used the snail and the wren as metaphors for people on spiritual and physical levels.

You saw in the snail that, with a slow and steady pace, incredible feats are possible further along the trail, not in the here and now. I came to a screetching halt here and deliberated. You saw in the wren that it was blindness, nor immaturity or inability, that caused the poor thing to collide with wall. This was very compelling!

I believe that in the near future you are going to find a doorway that will lead you into an entirely new season in your life. A season filled with the fruits of all your dreams and loose ends.

This mysterious construct is multi-leveled, and moved on my soul in a very peculiar fashion.

Respectfully ...
Richard Lloyd Cederberg
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 8/1/2006
enjoyed the read!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 8/1/2006
Oh I like this ...sensually mysteriously beautiful to me!!

Did you ever saw the paint advertisement of the snails dancing at night on a wall Crashing into each other just to climb back and and slide back to his girl to dance again...leaving a slimey mess on the wall...lol?

And the next day the gardener put the sprinklers on and wash their slimey dancing trails away!!

Thanks for sharing...this took me on a trip....a beautiful one though!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 8/1/2006
Another marvelous imagery rich post, Peter. And I truly love that Buddha quote, and that picture.

We could all probably learn something from both Buddha, and from that tiny snail.
Reviewed by Felix Perry 8/1/2006
Wowser to steal a term from my childhood, this is one very special and truly emotionally warm, feel good write. I love it.

Fee
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 8/1/2006
Senusous write without all the "mushy" stuff that usually goes along with that image. You found a way to give some life's lesson's as you made your love interest known.
Reviewed by Miss Pandora 8/1/2006
What a fabulous combination of images and emotions. Really superb poetry here Peter. Love Panda :)
Reviewed by Suzie Palmer 8/1/2006
Magic Peter!
Truly gorgeously glorious!
Brilliant imagery ... oh i could see those flowers winking and nodding their heads at you! You take on a mystical journey of your everyday life in summer! Thank you entirely!
Love, Suzie :-D
Reviewed by Jacquelynne Haycook 7/31/2006
Peter, this was an absolutely outstanding poem. I loved the detail and could see it in 'my minds eye'. But I was left wondering to myself...does SHE really want to be where you are? Or are YOU the one who is so desperately craving her? Such beautiful emotion...great write!!!
Reviewed by E T Waldron 7/31/2006
Peter you delivered this one with amazing misture of nature style, grace, and romance! What a guy!;-) Wow!
Reviewed by jude forese 7/31/2006
your mastery of imagery and depth of motif make this a brilliant pen ...
Reviewed by Rhonda Galizia 7/31/2006
One of the most beauteous facets of this write to me, Peter, is that inside the crushing pace of humanity, your spirit-man transcends, to a place where you can both become - and observe - the pace of a snail.
The load he carries, is only heavy, for a little while...it's all about, what lies ahead.

Glorious pen, tonight! Amazing graphic, too.

Love&Prayers, Rhonda

Reviewed by Marguerite Lemoine 7/31/2006
You have a good command of words. You must choose them carefully. No one else would think of writing a beautiful poem about a snail. lil flower
Reviewed by Martin Hebert 7/31/2006
~~Peter~~this is a wonderful poem..i floated along in your words~~

~~martin~~



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