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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

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Member Since: Dec, 2001

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E a s e m e n t
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
•  Past Due, © 2014, Karla Dorman
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           >> View all 3,280

Don't know where this one came from...

The bus,
      heavy-
laden
      with kids,
l a b o r s
      its way
to school.
      Upon
reaching 
      the park-
ing lot,
      it drops
its load --
      Relief.

(c) 2006, Karla Dorman (10/25)


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Reviewed by Daring Sunshine 10/26/2006
Understanding relief. Gooooooooooooooooooood Point Made in such few words; amazing!
Peace&Grace,
Sharon
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 10/26/2006
A great personification of the bus. I can almost hear "him/her" sigh. Nicely done. Love and peace to you,

Regis
Reviewed by H. Lena Jones 10/25/2006
Hey Karla, that's clever. Can be interpreted on several levels. For instance, a pregnant woman finally giving birth...dropping her load, as it were! She would feel relief, right? Well done! :)

God Bless
LOL
Lena
Reviewed by Susan de Vegter 10/25/2006
Wonderful how you give the school bus a voice and with accuracy as well.
Love,
susan
Reviewed by Susan Sonnen 10/25/2006
this one made me smile~ (:

Susan
Reviewed by J M 10/25/2006
Humor Oh Karla this is good.

Light & peace,
Joselyn
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 10/25/2006
This is a great write here Karla, keep it up and be blessed
God Bless
Michelle~
Reviewed by Myrna Badgerow 10/25/2006
Our buses aren't kidless long enough between loads for much relief I don't think..lol I know the drivers need more in between...) Cute write!
Myrna
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 10/25/2006
Sooo well done, Karla. Says it all visually as well as syllabically. As Victor says, sounds like an exhausted mother putting her feet up with a well-earned cup of tea for 5 minutes peace and quiet. Conjures much with a few well-placed words. TY K xx
Reviewed by Victor Buhagiar (Reader) 10/25/2006
With all the children jumping up and down, no wonder the bus need relief. Must have been painful. Victor
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 10/25/2006
Must have read Ed's sitting on the bog one first, then these metaphors..
Reviewed by richard cederberg 10/25/2006
Karla ...

This could very well be an advertisement for a laxitive. Sometimes, I imagine, that full bus can feel like being constipated.

Goodun ...
Richard Lloyd Cederberg
Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope) 10/25/2006
Human cargo is very heavy Karla. Lovely scenes and imageries.
You brother in Africa
Reviewed by Felix Perry 10/25/2006
After talking to Shiela, another writer on the den and also school bus driver I can surely appreciate this write.

Fee
Reviewed by Rusty Daily 10/25/2006
Cute little life experience poem here. Empathetic to all bus drivers.
Rusty
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 10/25/2006
Karla,

This is clever, original,and totally you! The words you come up with stirs the imagination! Very well done poem; take a bow! BRAVA, Karla!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin sister, Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by CJ Heck 10/25/2006
LOL, this piece has a lot of significance, Karla. My husband is retired from an Engineering career and drives a school bus! I'll have to print this out for him. The relief belongs to the driver, not the bus, rest assured! Excellent poem!
Love,
CJ
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 10/25/2006
If i were the bus, I would quit...ed
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 10/25/2006
Yes! As a former school bus driver, in a life long ago, you just gave me a most vivid flashback, Karla!
Reviewed by Peter Paton 10/25/2006
Karla

Felt a big weight getting lifted off my mind reading this..;-)
Highly original and imaginative composition

Bravo

Peter
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