by suzie day
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Print Save Become a Fan
This isnt actually my work, I'm putting this on here on the behalf of a friend. The first time I read this, I cried.
What do you say when you want to say goodbye?
But you can't. You can't say it.
You're not allowed to. Besides, to say it is to make it real
And if it's real maybe you'll be scared; and the point is
That you don't want to be scared anymore
You don't want to fight anymore
You don't want to cry, and scream and bleed ANY MORE
And how do you say that to those people who care for you
How do you say that I'm sick of this, and you're not worth it anymore
You're not worth living for when all I want is to get away
You can't tell someone who used to mean so much that they're not worth it
Can you tell them how betrayed you felt by them, at the last, when they didn't listen
Can you tell them how serious it was, and how if they'd only had the intelligence
Just to tell someone how bad it was, how out of all of our leagues
Someone who could maybe actually help, but instead, all they can do
Is mouth useless "there there"s and send -hugs- over msn that just aren't the same
Why is it so hard for them just to say "I love you and I need you"
If they said that, then maybe the walls would fall and give me something to cling to
Something to live for, and fight for, and hold onto through the darkness
But they can't say that. And I don't know it for sure and so I won't fight
Just on a hope and an uncertainty when I'm so tired and I just want to rest
How can you tell your sister that you can't live for her anymore
How can you tell your friends that they're not enough
Or your supposed-friends that maybe if they'd been there to watch you
Then they could have prevented it, could have helped, but they were too busy
Selfishly ignoring you and letting you believe they hate you for no reason
How can you tell your father that even he just isn't cutting it
Or your mother that you hate her so much it eats you up inside
Because you're supposed to love her, and you want to, but you can't love HER
You can love the image but not the reality and that's contrary to all you believe
But it's true and you can't change it but you can't say it either
How can. You can't. There's just no way to open your mouth or pick up a pen
And let it all spill out. Just because you want to say goodbye doesn't give you reason
To destroy those you once loved just because they couldn't see what was so obvious
It has to be enough for them simply to know you loved them, it has to be enough
Just to say that they did what they could and no more; goodbye; and good luck.
Mom? Dad? Iím gay.