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Mr. Ed

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Books by Mr. Ed
  Our Thornwood Manor Tour
by Mr. Ed
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Three Tiny Terrified Souls
•  Their Abysmal Fourth of July
•  Rainy Day Walkabout
•  My Buddy
•  It's Pet Appreciation Week
           >> View all 1,523





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“A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently;


There is a whispering in distant chambers,


An unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises.


Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night.”


 


J.M. Barrie


 


 


This is our second Howloween


Here at haunted Thornwood Manor


And we’ve gone all out to celebrate


Even hoisting a huge holiday banner


 


But we live in a very remote area


Having no living neighbors for miles


So we’d like to invite everyone in AD


To join us out here this month for awhile


 


The manor mistress bakes pumpkin pies


Our many pets are on their best behavior


And the tour we offer of our haunted home


Is something each visitor can hopefully savor


 


We start our tour in Thornwood’s basement


A mid 18th century mad scientist’s laboratory


Here you will find dungeons and the guillotine


And a few of the ghastly residents in their glory


 


Then you will be led up to the stately old parlor


Where you will have tea with old Spinster Maddy


She’s been residing in Thornwood Manor since 1852


Still hopeful that one day she’ll meet her Sugar Daddy


 


Then our home tour heads into the huge kitchen area


Where our ghastly butler and cook are mad as hatters


Here we’ll provide you with a protective plastic cloak


Since food and drink flies through the air and splatters


 


And for those on tour who are extremely brave of heart


You can even visit the bedroom of the tiny impish twins


They’ve been pulling gory pranks on each other for eons


Neither of them will give in and neither of them will win


 


Our tour of old Thornwood Manor then heads to the attic


But we advise caution, and that you move swiftly up here


The ravenous old bats that reside here like to detain visitors


And the bones of some former guests still rattle around I fear


 


As our fabulous Howloween Manor Tour now winds down


Your queasy tummy will delight in our renovated outhouse


Here you will be greeted by our enormous pet spider, Fang


And pampered by Thornwood Manor’s resident rabid mouse


 


So please consider visiting here at Thornwood Manor soon


We would be delighted to show you around for Howloween


Our only caution is that you don’t arrive through the woods


Alas, our resident werewolf Archibald is still just a tad mean


 


 


©2007, The Proprietor of Thornwood Manor


 


 


Be It Ever So Humble and Haunted,


There Truly is No Place Like One’s Home;


And I’m very confident that our Creepy Abode


Will inspire at least one book, and many a poem


 

 


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Reviewed by Walt Hardester
Will be there fer shure. For many a ghoulish maiden I will lure.

Walt
Reviewed by Tom Hyland
ED... GREAT SPOOF!

LOTSA SPOOKS! GOOFY GOOKS!
KINKY KOOKS! LASCIVIOUS LOOKS!
NASTY NOOKS! ROTTEN ROOKS!
GADZOOKS! FORSOOTH!

TOMB !



Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
Soon as I finish upgrading my broom by installing this new fangled global positioning system I will be there to take the tour....

Be safe,
Karen
Reviewed by Ann Scarborough
I shall arrive after I dine as you requested. The tour sounds like a very good time and one I shouldn't want to miss. I always enjoy time spent with good friends at Thornwood Manor.
Evil Enchantress
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Sorry lad, being a Brit, I'd come but nee expect to see nowt....

Great fiction though:0
Reviewed by Christine Alwin
I will not come empty handed, Got a brew that will knock socks off,,
its been brewing for centuries, just ripe for that perfect party!
Reviewed by Kathy Armijo
Thornwood manor - not for me - too thorny! Think I'll stick to this side of the moat.

Kathy
Reviewed by Barbara Smith
Ed, I'm preparing my broom for the trip, hope I can sneak pass Archibald because I'll beat the wits out of him if he tries to entice me into his den. I must confess I'm wearing my 1812 black dress made from the raven feathers & it sheds alot and if anyone touches the feathers they will become large ants. You may want to warn your guests not to touch me. The moles and warts on my face is frightening even to me...last year one of the longest warts got caught on a branch and almost pulled my nose off. Clear out a space so I won't have any trouble landing...can't risk getting my broom destroyed.
Reviewed by E T Waldron
my ghostly essence along with my wolf will be there after a visit to the Barrens to visit Jersey Devil, he needs a good fright to wake him out of his drugged trance...Your manor sounds like a delight for my kind of presence;-) Can't wait!

Love,
Tiger Lily's ghost
Reviewed by Dale Clark
how's about a wereboy Ed! ;)
he could ride his ghostly stallion
through the woods.
Reviewed by Staci Gansky-Wagner
Great invite! Chilling :)
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
I ain't skeered of no werewolf, the Jersey devil ain't skeered of nothin'...enjoyed my tour...JD
Reviewed by Carole Mathys
...I shall fly in at the witching hour...
Reviewed by Georg Mateos
Hey! hey!! hey!!!
I came throught the woods
took a bite of Archibal
he tasted not so very good!
Am coming...am coming...

Elerly White Shark
Reviewed by Jeanette Cooper
I shall come and bring my brood, under the cloak of darkness when goblins create the mood. Happy Halloween!
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
LOL, Ed, I'll come, as long as you don't let Fang loose 'round me. :) A winning invitation, well done, Ed.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
I will come if you can do something about Fang; I don't like spiders, and I don't much care for Hallowe'en! Still, a cool write; enjoyed~

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :)

Are costumes optional? I'll come dressed up as Loretta Lynn. :)
Reviewed by George Carroll
You made an offer we can't refuse.
Reviewed by Felix Perry
Well done my friend would surely love to visit and sleep a while...long while if I forget the warnings about the woods.
Fee
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart
I'll be there!!
Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
your hospitality is unmatched!!
Reviewed by john zimmerman
cool

a delightful tour of the ranch. I love it

good write

john+
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