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Tom Hyland

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Poetry
· ELF # 1

· SHRIMPY

· OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...

· ALL HALLOWS EVE

· HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW

· CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL

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Books by Tom Hyland
  Schlong
by Tom Hyland
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Rated "R" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Tom Hyland
•  ELF # 1
•  SHRIMPY
•  OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...
•  ALL HALLOWS EVE
•  HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
           >> View all 515




HE'S BaaaaaaaaaaaaaacK !

Dirty Ole Man
who does what he does -
'cause he CAN!

CAUTION - PRUDES SHOULD NOT READ THIS!

OF COURSE, A COUPLE OF
PRELUDES MIGHT HELP,
IF TAKEN FIRST!





SCHLONG

Copyright: 01-30-08 - Tom Hyland

Some are short and stubby,
Some are thin and Long.
Some are called Ding-a-Ling,
Others are known as Dong!


Male part of a flower is a Stamen,
Plural - usually six - Stamina.
“Pistil-Packin’ Mamas” are the Women,
Gregor Mendel - quite frenetic about Genetics!


Sigmund Freud - defined a callous Phallus,
A symbol that many Pick,
The Watertower of Ypsilanti, Michigan,
Called by Locals “The Brick Dick!”


Some names are Nasty, others Cute,
Like Dingie, or Pecker, or even Skin-Flute!
How many names are there - who Knows?
Oops! There’s another - Hose!


Fannie Hill had an iron will, she’d never Barter,
With Any man who Can - produce a Harder!
Some names can cause quite a Shock,
Like the name of a Rooster, or a Rock!


In the Vulgate, a Penis is a Dork,
Thus, that which truly Delivers,
Is certainly Not the Stork!
The Other White Meat - Pork!


When a Lady really gets the Point,
It’s usually the male Joint!
The way to a man’s heart - don’t be a Fool,
It’s not his stomach, but his Tool!


So now I suppose, I have to Close,
This tale about a Crack Filler,
Does Size Matter - is he a Slacker?
Or maybe the very Best - Bush-Whacker!


So LooooooooooooooooooooooonG -

SCHLONG!



P.S. - Post Schlong -


Urban Dictionary: schlong

schlong - penis - cock - dick - wang - dong - johnson - prick - willy - weiner -
boner - pecker - rod - sex member - knob - erection - sausage - meat - peter




 



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Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Love to see that pic in person...didn't learn nothin' but you did teach me sumpthin...me & he
Reviewed by Kathy Armijo
I learned a thing or two from this. Apparently, I've led a very sheltered life. If you believe that, I've got some swamp land for sale. lol Incredible picture!



God bless you. Kathy
Reviewed by Theresa Koch
Lol on this one~`*
Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks
Lawdy...Tom's up to his shenanigans again :o). How many escapades did you go on, Tom, to find that tree with the biggest root?? Your words are quite fittin', I must say...and got my head to slowly shakin' ~~~with a grin on my face :o) chuckle...chuckle...chuckle

Micke
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