An Englyn Wind
by Cryssa C
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.
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An Englyn Wind
The wind waved at me today
He did not have much to say
when he came over my way
He pulled me into his arms
and blinded me with his charms;
but I should’ve heard the alarms!
He saw me again tonight--
Wrapped his arms around me tight
and hugged me with all his might.
I thought he was oh, so sweet…
‘Til he picked me off my feet
and dropped me down on my seat.
He gave a slap to my cheek;
yelled in my ear with a shriek--
leaving me feeling quite weak!
I can see I was a fool
for believing he was cool--
but now I know he’s just cruel.
Oh, that crazy Englyn wind
whose only goal is to rend
while you’re pretending to woo--
on you I cannot depend!
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|Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo
|I can't speak to the form itself as I've never written one, but I like your personification of the wind and the touches of humor throughout. Very nicely done! Hugs, Elizabeth|
|Reviewed by Chris Wright
|Your personification of wind blew me away. You've birth the new poetic version of Gone With the Wind and I'm gonna about to read it again so I can get blowed away twice!
|Reviewed by Liana Margiva
|I love this poem!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva|
|Reviewed by Mary Coe
|You are very talented. Well penned. Enjoyed the read.|
|Reviewed by Cryssa C
|I still say raspberries to you, Charlie... hee, hee...
I already took my F.
And if you will notice in my Englyn Ode to you, I did repeat the same sounds (Ode to Charlie, Oh, Charlie) and I made s
rhymes. Actually I tried to do the real slant rhymes, but... they just don't sound right in my head. (I struggle with real rhymes as it is... bleck!)
I even did a non-Englyn verse that echoed!
Shouldn't I at least get a D for trying??
|Reviewed by Charlie
|I like your poem, but it's not "englyn." The thing that makes it engyln is not the rhyme, nor the syllables, it's the omoioteleton throughout the poem. There are many forms of englyn poems, but they all have this element. Here are 3 lines from a 7-syllabled, rhyming, triplet form of englyn milwr:
I carry a severed head.
Cynfarch's son, it's owner, would
Charge two warbands without heed.
Okay. Now look at the first line. Notice the repeated short vowel sound in "carry", "severed" and "head". Also notice the repeated end consonant "d". And there are also dipthongs in there. "I", as a dipthong, is "ah+ee", and "a" is "eh+ee", thus the "ee" is also echoed. Also, in Welsh, there are many more dipthongs that we consider.
Now, line two: The first word, "Cynfarch's" echoes the "s" sound in "severed" from the first line. It is customary to "marry" one of the last sounds in the first line with one of the first sounds in the line following. And it's echoed again in "Cynfarch's" last syllable, as well as in "son." Also, there's an echoing of "oo" in the "w's" and "oh" sound. Incidently, all short vowels, h's and "w's" are related in sound-- they're all formed in similar places inside the mouth. So there's a lot of echoing going on in that line.
Finally, in the third line, notice again that the "w" from "would" in line two is echoed in "two" and "warbands" and "without" and "heed". Also, "heed" slants a rhyme with "head" from the first line.
Altogether, the lines merge, marry, kiss your mouth, so to speak. --That's englyn prosody for you.
Now, I'm not saying I don't like your poem. I do like it. But if you're going to call it englyn, shouldn't it be englyn?
Back to work, Cryssa. I expect no less than a masterpiece from you. --Your ever-lovin' sista, CHARLIE
|Reviewed by John Leko
|...well penned thoughts...of a wind...with a bit of fling in the air.
|Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
|How unique is this. Love the meaning, and enjoy the reading, it's very chipper indeed. a delightful penn..|
|Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU
Beautifully composed...Inspiring and enchanting... I like it.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
|Reviewed by Sheri Uy
|A very meaningful piece, Cryss. On the lighter side, i'd say: "Mean englyn wind!" (smiles)
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
|Powerful poem, Cryssa; very well penned! BRAVA!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
|Reviewed by Georg Mateos
|That's like one blowing down from the loch's glens, cool and tracherous, taking your breath away and leaving you like a wet discarted rag...but what a ride you had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
|Wow, Cryssa, this one is powerfully penned excellence. Well done.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
|Reviewed by George Carroll
|Seems the poem I just wrote has something in common with yours.|