A Finishing Touch
Her eyes are over looking her.
She feels her heart pounding and her soul directing her eyes to see what her mind has yet to understand
She is experiencing self soul searching
Her soul is searching within her to find the beauty they all see.
Her inner beauty is visible and still unseen by the beholder.
This is deep
This is deeper than insecure.
This is deeper than a self-conscious woman who is scorned.
This has depths that love can’t touch.
Depths that trust can’t unfold.
Depths that are often untold
Unspoken because it may seem that something is not calculating right.
Something may seem unsound.
Maybe a disorder that has been, for generations left unfound.
Her eyes search every visible aspect and find the physical beauty.
No, the physical can't be denied.
Beautiful light honeys tone with brown oval almond-shaped eyes.
Full red lips and speckles from the suns warm touch.
Her hair is dark brown, thick as a wavy mane and as long as the Great Wall runs
Her body seems disoriented, but beautiful in its temporary form
She is content in knowing she has created three more journeys she can explore.
She smiles because she is aware her outer beauty is far beyond pure.
Her eyes direct her back on track.
The mission is not about the physical, but it’s about the inner self and what she has yet to understand.
She leans in and looks deep into her eyes,
past the brown,
past the cornea,
Past all the vessels and she is flipped upside down.
She gracefully entered the window to her soul.
Instantly something grabs her and she is cushioned with discomfort.
She is being swallowed by black tar shadows.
She is unable to breathe.
This is deep.
This is deeper than she could have ever imagined.
This is deeper than a woman with a tampered lost soul.
This has depths deeper than any ocean floor.
Depths that the devil himself refuses to explore
Depths left undrained. Left unspoken because she can’t handle the mental strain.
She tries to catch her breath but her chest continues to feel the pressure
The black tar shadows get thicker and she is wondering if she should have ventured off in such an unknown territory.
She continues to struggle and the more she moves the more tangled she becomes.
She is wrapped up like an unfortunate fly trapped by the sticky web of a spider.
Her struggles cease when she only has one pin whole left for air.
She must remain calm.
She inhales slow, she releases her muscles and lays there and begins to notice her surroundings. She is wrapped in her own scar tissue.
Her pain is unhealed and her memories are written in black scars all over the walls of her soul.
This is deep.
This is deeper than normal pain
This is deeper than a subconsciously blind woman who has suppressed all her darkness.
This has depths deeper than any physical or verbal abuse.
Depths that can’t be resolved by any psychotherapy
Depths that have dug past rock bottom and hit bottom rock
She is in shock and can’t believe what she has discovered.
Time has left and she has let herself go.
Silence has drowned her thoughts and her new found worry
No ticking from a clock,
No cries that need to be stopped.
no fluorescent yellow suns,
no multi colored rainbows
Just her in the dark and the silence ripping through her ears.
Just her all alone with everyone’s burdens everyone’s memories
For an instance she longs to hear a noise because the pain is unbearable.
She has never heard such silence.
She begins to feel trapped and she can’t get free.
She believed her mission to be easy as a Seek and Find, she thought she could just circle all the burdens in her mind.
She was fully aware she would find so much that should have been left in time.
Dates, places, hates, generalizations and rates of all those who have
Walked with her on her journey of...her so short lived life
A journey of unanswered trivia.
But how does she let go how does she make it right?
She needs a baptism, a cleansing.
This is deep
This is deeper than her strength.
This is deeper than a religiously unsound woman who is lost.
This has depths that only a bible and prayer can cure.
Depths that cause a preacher to leave the doors of the church open 24/7 365
Depths that when touched spiritually then maybe she will find...
Her beauty is there and always has been
she has chosen to block it,
she has chosen to hide it within
And because she chose to do so she learned...
It is too much to hold on to depth, easier to let go and heal and always to expect pain.
Always expect heartache
Always expect trouble times
Always expect let downs
Expect all things to be wrong, go wrong, and stray wrong
And you will forever be accepting to go too deep.
© 2007 Poetically Speaking Rae