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Bernice Angoh Lakota

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Member Since: Sep, 2007

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Social Security The Attempt To Kill It
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Books by Bernice Angoh Lakota
Fatherless Child
by Bernice Angoh Lakota
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Bernice Angoh Lakota
•  star.DUST
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           >> View all 182

(Once in a while I think of him and wonder...But thank God for Mama!!!)I took that pic a while back. How I love that she loves her father so and that he loves her back ten times more....it's one of my greatest joys.

Excerpt of "Fatherless Child" from my book "Lemonade Street"


 

 

I called my father today
Don’t know quite what I was expecting
I guess a little “Hello, how are you doing” would’ve sufficed
He hasn’t changed
He’s still the same cold man I’ve known him to be
I wonder if he cares that I exist
I wonder if he’ll ever discard his stubborn pride
I didn’t mean to, but I cried
When after pouring out my soul to him, he responded
“Are you done talking?”
No!

I kept talking
One last chance to mend the broken fence
One more word, maybe, to hit the spot
I didn’t expect love from him
I didn’t expect laughter from him
A simple acknowledgment would’ve been enough:
“You are my child and I am your father”
I was wrong
His words stung
“I have nothing to say to you” he finished
Maybe I was wishing far too high
I must be such an angel
For thinking that much of him
He was just a sperm donor
And I, still and always will be
A fatherless child

(I did call my father and that’s what he said.)

© 2007 by Bernice Angoh

 

 

 

Lemonade Street
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Reviewed by John Leko
...heartfelt write of sadness...and a phone conversation...holding a dead ringer of hope...with an angel on your end...you...still see a father...though he may be as far away as the heavens. I though see your strengths in your beautiful expressive pen...and know from your beginning in words here...that I have found a most beautiful friend.
John
Reviewed by Georg Mateos
Some father were born in North Pole, I know mine was, that cold can't be found anywhere.

Georg
Reviewed by Lavendar Jazz
My heart goes out to you... Bernice you are truly blessed and you made it without him. Thank him for his seed because without it there would be no "you" and forgive him. We all want love from our parents but some of them are incapable of "true love".

May God continue to shine upon your life...
Lavendar Jazz
Reviewed by Ann Marquette
Oh Sweet Bernice, I am so sorry. I have known reject and it hurts terribly. Rene is very wise and I am so glad she was able to or will be able to forgive and heal her own heart. I pray for you to find the forgiveness in your own heart, and, that both of you know that God IS your unconditionally loving Father.

I learned many years ago that those who have been in my life and maybe should have loved me, but couldn't, that I could forgive them and let go. I also feel grateful for those who do love me, no matter what.
Blessings to you both.
Reviewed by E T Waldron
Bernice, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, but I'm glad you show yourself to be a beautiful confidant poised young woman who has overcome what many do not! Stay strong and keep the faith.Excellent write!

Love,
ET
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
Oh Bernice, I know how your father's words sting, how you keep wishing it would be different. A simple acknowledgement, an I miss you too, even an I love you and think about you often, but sometimes it is just not meant to be. Your mom played the role and showered you will love and with God's love it will suffice as you continue on your journey through life. It is his loss, not yours....

Be always safe,
Karen
Reviewed by Rene Remington
Bernice,

I feel your pain gal. It's hard to understand the hearts of some people. I have learned on thing from my own father. He was with us
but unavailable emotionally. A person cannot give what they do not own themselves. It took me many a year to come into an understanding of his pain and it only happened as I healed mine.

One time in prayer I heard, forgiveness is the way home. I began to forgive his aloofness. I also began to acknowledge that perhaps I needed more than anyone could give. So I turned inward to heal my heart and joined with the creator. There I came know the true loves comes from my own heart.

Love & Blessings
René
Reviewed by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper
Know how you feel Bernice Angoh my dear poetess friend, my father was the same way. It's eight of us and my father never did a thing after we departed from him when I was nine years old. He also was a dead beat. But let me tell you this, do not stop loving your father, love him anyway and keep reaching out to him, God will bless you, you'll bless yourself. When they throw dirt in his face you will feel a lot better. I never even knew if I would attend my fathers funeral, but I got my answer when he died. I went and I said something good for my father in his funeral. This is what my father gave me, he gave me this big strong body I'm in, he worked all his life and took good care of himself which is a lesson in itself, he never used drugs or became an alcoholic. those are lessons most of these don't want to work drug using kids today should learn. I'm like my father except I have more love for others than he did. I would have never done my kids like he did. I wrote this poem ater he died,

I'm the son of a dead beat daddy,
who never fathered steady.
He left all his land to a cousin,
knowing he had children that equal almost a dozen.
I tried to give dad the benefit of the doubt,
until the contents of the will came out.
He left all his kids a dollar,
it made me so mad I could holler.
Again I feel all screwed,
but my hate will not be renewed.

So I hope your poem is fictional my dear because mine is for real


Reviewed by George Carroll
There are more than just one out there like that. Sad.
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart
This touched me deeply. An honest and emotive write.
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse
Bernice,
I am so sorry with the deepest empathy at this loss in your heart.
My Father passed away when he was 30, so I never know what to really say. I grieve still for his absence, but absence of the heart as you have experienced is worse than death I think. I feel really sad for that. Your daughter is stunning & I love her eyes, but of course!!
You Have A Beautiful & Loving Family! She does adore her daddy!! :)
Love & Hugs
Embraced ~ Embrassé
Vickie
Reviewed by Charlie
Heart-breaking. That's one of the reasons why I love reading Scott Tacke-- so much love for the little ones-- this me-focussed society has been pretty hard on them. It's a thought-provoking write, B. And you're beautiful--did just fine without(probably better than with) him. --Charlie
Reviewed by Rose Rideout
I will never understand how a father can do this to his own Child but that is how it was with my oldest child, his father and I divorced and he refused to accept him as his child. Such a shame of what they are missing out on. Thank you for sharing your pain and it is him who is missing out love not you.

Newfie Hugs, Rose
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Speechless!!!!!
Reviewed by Randall Barfield
He will get his, dear. Just be patient. What did the Man in Scripture say about harming little children, whom He calls treasures? What a darling face on that child! Has she been entered into any beauty contest?
Reviewed by Connie Faust
This is painful even to read. I can't imagine how it must feel, but I do thank God that you know your heavenly Father, and that He is so very different. All that we can desire in a loving, wise Daddy is in our Father God. If only more of the earthly fathers knew Him and followed His ways.....
"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Jesus prayed this on the cross) We can still pray that your father will come to know Jesus. All things are possible with God, and this is the thing your father needs to change his heart.

Love, Connie
Reviewed by Cryssa C
Oh...Bernice! How sad... Bridge that gap is sometimes immensely difficult!
How blessed you are to have a husband who is a wonderful father though...I know that I count myself blessed for the same reason!
Cryssa
Reviewed by Sandie May Angel-Joyce
This is hear-breaking and well-wroitten with much of your raw expression and feelings!!! I can imagine the pain you are going through. I hope in later life your father will come to his senses and give you the love you deserve.

My father did not come to thee hospital to see me and my mother when I was born, but he made up for it later on in his life, and I loved him dearly. One thing for certain is that the parent-child bond will always be there, whether either one of you choose to connect or not. My best time with my parents was when we all moved here to Canada. However, both my parents have lost their lives to cancer between the years 2004 and 2006.

I pray and hope that you will be connected with your father soon.

Sending you all my love,

Sandie Angel :o)
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