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arizona n hawkins

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Featured Book
Missing Ingredients
by Lark Pogue

What could be worse than spending your last hours of existence in a mind full of regrets and guilt over your life exploits? Only one thingóbeing the victim of those deeds..  
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Mesmorizing Blessings
by arizona n hawkins
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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* Have you ever took the time to watch other people? ..... Sometimes there are blessings all around you... yet we tend to want to put on our "ME" shades and we often miss them. Don't take me wrong... I'm not picking on anyone else... I'm actually testifying about myself. I get so worried about things ... where i need to be, what i need to do next, what my hair loooks like, does these jeans fit me right, ....on and on and on... sometimes it doesnt even feel selfish.. i may be thinking stuff like if I wear this my husband will feel I'm attractive, or if I do this my friend will say Hey she's a good friend, or if I do this then my kids will say i love you mommy.... and i guess all of that has its place and time.... but its still all about me. its all comes back to me. And then when those things come back to me i say...I am so blessed... and when those things don't come back to me i think ...hmm maybe I am not so blessed. See...all about me and what i get.

I have never recieved a blessing as powerful as the blessing I seen in that nursing home. Those ladies probably wouldnt reconize or remember me. They never really spoke directly to me. They will probably never physically hand me a gift... infact I just might not even see this 2 ladies ever again. But yet they have blessed me in such a specail kinda of way.

I couldnt put my finger on why I felt so strongly affected by these 2 ladies. To my shaded eyes they were just 2 ladies laying in bed talking. When infact, they were actually so much more. Becky said to them...oh I'm sorry... I didnt mean to wake you... they said... oh we never sleep in this place.. we just sit up and talk.. God is so good.
WOW! I had flashbacks of nites i spent lying up talking to my friends like that. I had flash backs of lying up talking with my mom and confiding in her. I had a flash forward of myself when i get old, lying there, in a darkened nursing home room.. reminissing about my life with my roommate and saying those sweet words...God is so good! Wow!

I'll remember to slow down from now on and pay attention to the things that have nothing to do with me... for they too can have absolutely everything to do with me!

Selfishness corrodes our minds,

Til we just forget why we live,

For no matter what it is we recieve,

Its never as great as the gift we give.

We keep searching for the things in the world,

That'll never satisfy our want and need,

And even when we declare that we have not,

At some point we have all lived in greed.

Some of us miss our blessings,

Our blessings are not missing tho,

If we only took the time it'd take to notice,

We could actually watch the blessings glow.

For sometimes blessings arent packaged,

With pretty bows or shiny bells,

A blessing isn't always how someone has treated you,

Or living in our little fairytales.

A blessing can be considered health,

Yet that isnt always so,

Some blessings are hard to see,

But when seen- a blessing you will know.

Greed makes us miss out on so much in life,

If only we could live without this dreadful flesh,

We're scared to leave ourselves out of our decisions,

And our blessings fall thru our plans made of mesh.

But if we were selfless we might feel what its like to become,

To become peaceful, happy, loving, giving,

If only we would die to our flesh,

Thats when we could freely begin living.

I happened upon some blessings that were lying in a dark room talking,

While I was walking down the nursing home hall,

Something about the sweetness of it deeply blessed me,

And it wasn't for me, to me, or about me at all.

I thought, Why have I let my greed keep me from such beauty,

Those blessings gone unseen yet they are not in disguise,

I can't count the blessing I have received yet missed,

And these are the blessings that truly mesmorize!



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