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Letters to John
by arizona n hawkins
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These next few are poetic letter I wrote to John. I think the writing was my way of dealing with the pain and the loss. Besides my mother whom was alive at the time of Johnís death... John was the closest person I have ever lost.. infact I believe he was the true st friend I have ever had and I was with him nearly everyday if he wasnt at work so it was hard to adjust to not having him to talk too.

Hello John, My Dearest Friend,

How are you today,

All my love I send,

Up there heaven’s way.

I just wrote to tell you,

I miss how your heart would touch,

There’s no one I’d rather talk to,

I miss our times so much.

John would you smile for me,

Show me those dimples so cute,

I loved seeing you all giggly,

You were always such a hoot.

When I close my eyes,

To imagine that amzing smile,

All the troubles in my world subsides,

And my heart flutters for awhile.

Atleast thats the way it was before,

Now my heart feels so heavy,

Not to think of you is a chore,

My tears couldnt be held by a levy.

I want to think your gone to work,

Hard to think of you so far away,

Its hard to make it thru the hurt,

But I know I’ll be seeing you again someday.

I seen yor sister just the other day,

Her eyes soaked with love for you,

You were rite by the way,

That woman’s heart is so very true .

She reminds me of how you were,

Her presence comforts me so,

She knows how much you loved her,

Just thought you’d wanta know.

I need to go and check on everybody,

I feel so out of place without you,

You were loved by so many,

You touched everyone you knew.

I told you that you were specail,

You saw it as doing the right thing,

Coencidental that I just called you the KINg!

Thats what you were tho,

Everyone wanted to be around you,

I feel privelged you know,

Your memories will forever be the" Good Ole Days".

"Live Like You Were Dying",

Was your new favorite song,

I hear it and start crying,

The words make me think deep and long.

You were right about my life,

Every other problem seems so small,

Going on without you is my strife,

Keep wishing you would come by or call.

I really wish I could hear your voice,

Just to be near you once again,

I really wish I had that choice,

I’d be happier than I’ve ever been.

Thanks for being there for me,

Thanks for the best times ever,

You’ll be in my heart for an eternity,

We’ll be best friends forever!

Til we meet again,

On clouds of silk and satin,

I’ll miss you my friend,

Love, Naomi Patten

By: Arizona Hawkins AkA Naomi Patten


Dear John, My Soulmate,

How are things up there,

Beyond the pearly gate,

Beside the Lords chair.

I’ve been thinking of you alot,

Wondering what your thinking,

Closing my eyes to imagine the plot,

And into a daze I start sinking.

Everyone’s always talking about you,

And how great you were to them,

I bet you hear every word of it too,

And you blush as you grin.

I bet that you worry about us,

Just as you always did before,

I can just picture you watching,

And wishing you could do more.

I bet when we rbag about your bravery,

You think it wasn’ ta big deal,

You never knew how much you ment,

Or how bad losing you would make us feel.

I bet you wish you could be here,

Each and every time that we cry,

To talk away our every fear,

Anything just to help us get by.

I bet when I hold your picture,

And stare into those big pretty eyes,

That your looking back at me,

Saying there is no reason for goodbyes.

I bet you’ll always be here,

You’ll always be in my heart,

Your presence will always be near,

Tho in body we’re apart.

I think of what you’d say,

What kind of wisdom you would share,

No matter what the problem may be,

I know My John will always care.

What if I were to say to you,

I wish you could come back,

You say quit wishing for those things,

In your life you think you lack.

You’d probably go on to say,

Don’t forget the good things you’ve got,

Cherish the ones around you,

Tell them you love them alot.

You never wanted the attention on you,

Yet you fought everyone’s wars,

Now that yo’ve saved us all,

The attention is all yours.

Sometimes I feel selfish,

When I want you to walk thru that door,

You gave up your whole life,

But I still keep asking for more.

I guess what I shoudl really ask,

Is what can I do for you,

Is there any deed left  undone,

What is it that you’d want me to do?

I wish I could take your place in heaven,

Cuz I could never fill your shoes on earth,

But I promise I’ll do all that I can,

No way I could ever forfill your worth,

Til we meet again,

On clouds of silk and satin,

I’ll miss you my friend,

Love, Naomi Patten


By: Arizona Hawkins aka then Naomi Patten

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