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Mr. Ed

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Books by Mr. Ed
  Not One Chinese Oil Platform In Sight
by Mr. Ed
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Three Tiny Terrified Souls
•  Their Abysmal Fourth of July
•  Rainy Day Walkabout
•  My Buddy
•  It's Pet Appreciation Week
           >> View all 1,523





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“The Chinese Are Stealing Our Oil!”

 

Vice President Dick Cheney

 

 

I just had to laugh when I heard that quote

The Chinese are not drilling oil on our shores

They’re probing for oil in international waters

Well over 50 miles from our coastline, or more

 

When our extremely sage politicians now advocate more ‘offshore drilling’

They truly mean, right up along our shorelines, like on our oily Gulf Coast

Get some stick pins and stick five thousand, right off California and Florida

And see if you like the new ‘oil platform view’ our coastlines soon may boast

 

And they are also now proclaiming how truly safe this offshore drilling will be

But as one who helped ‘de-oil’ so many near death critters, when Katrina came

All it will take is one violent new storm to hit these brand new ‘near shore’ oil rigs

And anyone living on the coast in California or Florida will want someone to blame

 

Does anyone really believe that our politicians will make our oil companies

Bear the expense of deep sea oil drilling, if they allow drilling right on shore?

Although they most assuredly will not, I guess we should pray they don’t

Or guess who’ll be paying much, much higher gas prices than ever before

 

We’ve already got nearly 4,000 oil rigs in the Gulf Coast

Which have hardly put a dent in our foreign dependency

But our extremely sage leaders are somehow convinced

That new ones in California and Florida will ‘set us free’

 

Even if new offshore drilling miraculously provided half

Of all the oil that our oil based economy now desires

We will still be tied into the world wide oil price market

And prices for oil and gas, will now soar higher and higher

 

But I am now finally going to just give up in trying

To convince anyone that more offshore drilling is bad

But I certainly won’t be buying any oceanfront property

In our once beautiful nation, which has truly gone ‘Oil Mad’

 

But I still think it’s time to wean off, not enhance, our oil economy;

I truly wonder if Politicians have ever heard of ‘Alternative Energy.’

 

And Will Someone Please Inform Our Politicians,

That We Do Not Own Any International Waters.

 

But I Can Already Hear Their Sage Response:

 

“The Chinese are Now Oil Probing,

Before They Start Their ‘Slant Drilling.’

 

Their New Fifty-Mile or Longer Oil Drills,

Even Though They’re In International Waters,

 Will Soon Slant Right In Under Florida, Damn It.

 

We Just Know They’re Gonna Steal Our Oil;

And You Can Surely Trust Us!”

 

 

©2008, Mr. Ed

   

 


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Reviewed by MaryGrace Patterson
Our world is ina sad state of affairs and its only getting worse.. GREAT ATTENTION WRITE!......m
Reviewed by Tom Hyland
ED - NO - NO - N0 - BRO ... you got it bass-akwards!

After covertly angle-drilling from 50 miles out they won't siphon oil out - rather, they will Pump Putrified Poisons IN - to Dilute & Pollute - just like all their other KNOCK-OFFS !

IT'S THE CUNNING, CONNIVING, COVERT CHINESE COMMUNIST CORRUPTION WAY! DON'CHA KNOW?

Oh, by the way - we have synthetic diamonds, and synthetic rubies, and synthetic OIL - how come our astute: scientists, leaders, and oil magnates never got smart and MASS PRODUCED IT? Ever since it was invented, it has been in demand, and used in multiple applications, but been too costly for the public at large.

Like many other products: Tv's, radios, computers, cameras, iPods, cell phones, et alia - would not mass production by all competing oil companies drive the average production costs down, and make it not only affordable, but CHEAPER than real oil? This would not only REDUCE our percentage of foreign dependence, but also leave the A-RABS stuck with a whole bunch of millions of barrels, that they could use to SHINE THEIR CAMELS ASSES WITH! And use to WAX their Rolls RoyceÕs and HummerÕs and BentleyÕs with!

ED - you done done it again - got my brain working at a feverish pace - gotta go now and start capturing the creative juices, the OIL of the Mind - the OIL of the Soul - the SNAKE-OIL of the slippery-slimey-slew of the Body ... OMG - I feel like Dr. FRANKENSTEIN !!!

later ... TKH.

Reviewed by Dawn Anderson
You amaze me. If we were all only half as environmentally conscious as you are, what a difference we would make in the world.
Reviewed by J. Allen Wilson
But I still think it’s time to wean off, not enhance, our oil economy;I truly wonder if Politicians have ever heard of ‘Alternative Energy

They have sir...and when they get it where they can make tons of money with it we shall see it.
Reviewed by John Flanagan
You have a higher consciousness, Ed, and a noble conscience. I enjoyed this.
John
Reviewed by Sandie Angel
Oil seems to be the international problem nowadays. I just hope this won't cause another oil spill or hurricane.

You are right about getting the politicians to think of some oil alternatives.

A thought provoking write, Ed!

Sandie Ange :o)
Reviewed by Felix Perry
Another enlightening write from a true devoted environmentalist...good write Ed.

Fee
Reviewed by Jerry Engler
And, to paraphrase Mark Twain, very soon the Chinese will be sending gunboats up the Mississippie to protect their laundries in Memphis. At least we've progressed enough to say slant drilling instead of slant-eyed drilling--forgive me that remark please my Asian friends, I must have been thinking about Occidental Oil Co. That photo is amazing, Ed. Your poem brings up the central truth. It ain't our politicians that are going to change anything, it's us. It isn't about getting more oil, it's about turning away from oil to the alternatives. I just received a letter from a friend with the bucks who wants to buy a farm with a stream through it that will drop at least 30 feet going through the property. He wants to put up wind turbines and small hydroelectric dams to electrolyze water himself for hydrogen to burn. At least he's thinking, and turning his money toward something that might work for the common good. This isn't just about oil, it's about a God-given opportunity to truly change the way we are while the worst of the Cheneys slowly fade into the sunset. Maybe we can even help the Chinese learn the best of who we are instead of the worst....Jerry
Reviewed by Walt Hardester
Georg is right.
God speed the hydrogen fuel cell.
Reviewed by E T Waldron
Ed thank you for the info I was unaware of,where China drilled, but it was said they already have found oil! I too believe in alternative energy! But we have to stop only blaming our leaders who most elect without even knowing who they are!I've said it before we need a clean sweep of government! But not just anyone who comes along and speaks with fine rhetoric promising peace, is going to change our society! It takes people who are willing to be aware as you are, of what is happening in the world and not just rely on or blame leaders only. Thanks for sharing your knowledge! TL
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Just another oil related problem our wonderful government has gotten us into...when we complain they ask if we want fuel for our gas guzzlers or do we want to walk...heaven forbid...Ed
Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks
The slant-drilling is certainly a possibility, Ed, but WHO is gonna TRUST THIS 'WMD' ADMINISTRATION??? Sounds like a last-ditch effort to put more $ in the coffers of Halliburton, which includes Brown&Root, Taylor Diving, etc, etc, etc...Where's that Impeachment Committee when we need 'em?
Blessing and Love ~~ Micke
Reviewed by Georg Mateos
As a darn trusting soul I ain't trustin' n'body! ! ! an'that's final.

Georg
Reviewed by Christine Alwin
The games they play huh??,,,, at our expense never the less. :(
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Good grief, what next? Sad - and very well penned.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart
Exploration and development of alternative energy sources is the only answer. Thanks for sharing Ed. Politicians have proven beyond a doubt that they can't be trusted.
Reviewed by Jeanette Cooper
Ed, your story stirs pain and fear. I wish someone knew the answer to this oil crisis we face. It seems anymore that to resolve one problem, we create another and the ones you have been presenting in your writings will eventually become so destructive we will be floundering to solve yet another problem that is much bigger. I appreciate your earnest concern that many many people share with you.
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