Cabbage (poem) by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner on AuthorsDen

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Cabbage
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Monday, September 29, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Whoops.

... swear it was cabbage. looked like
cabbage, felt like cabbage, this head
i picked up at the grocery store. got
it home, rinsed it off, sliced it up ---
sliced like cabbage.

was so looking forward to kapushta.

when i put it in the pan with a bit of
margerine to fry it up, it didn't smell
like cabbage. didn't smell bad, but
didn't smell ... right. my twin sister
even noticed it.

was so looking forward to kapushta.

put some onion in the pan. cabbage
and onion to go with the keilbasa and
egg noodles. that's when it hit me ---
was was supposed to be cabbage
was not cabbage at all:

anyone for fried lettuce and noodles?

(c) 2008, Karla Dorman (9/29)

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Reviewed by Dawn Anderson	10/2/2008

Karla, maybe it wasn't cabbage...but it sure looks good in that photo!




Reviewed by Jon Willey	10/1/2008

hah! -- what a funny story -- this sounds like something that should have happened to me -- did I ever tell you about the time my father, who was ninety-one at the time -- cooked up a big pot of potpourri, and ate it! -- he said it was very tasty! -- he said he thought it was a package of dried soup preparation! -- whew, we laughed a long time and still do every time we recall the incident -- so lettuce, isn't so bad -- peace dear lady -- JMW




Reviewed by Jeanette Cooper	10/1/2008

Karla, if it tastes as good as it looks in the picture,then nothing is loss. Sure would like to have your recipe--it sounds great.




Reviewed by Mark Lichterman	10/1/2008

Karla, sounds pretty good to me. How's it done? Mark Lichterman




Reviewed by Sheila Roy	10/1/2008

LOL! I think we've all had our share of culinary mistakes, Karla. Did you gals eat it? Sheila




Reviewed by Charlie	9/30/2008

I'm dying, Karla! What a hoot! So one night, my family was having a movie night. Half an hour through the movie, I dutifully get up and run out to do all the irrigating (about 45 min), but I get back in time for the end of it-- Wuthering Hights-- I blob what looks like mashed potatoes on my plate, spoon on what looks like gravy, take a bite, and keel over dead. Cause of death: minced parsnips saturated with banana pudding! If it's not the taste, then the surprise of the unexpected could get ya! Well, at least it looked pretty! --Charlie




Reviewed by Georg Mateos	9/30/2008

OMG don't invite me to your cuisine, let Sis do the cooking! LOL Georg




Reviewed by Daring Sunshine	9/30/2008

Well at least I know what it looks like now since I've heard about it for a long time. LOL




Reviewed by Mr. Ed	9/30/2008

Now you've got me craving Kapusta, Kielbasa, and Pierogis. I best go shoppin myself today!




Reviewed by John Flanagan	9/29/2008

Karla, you are speaking to the converted here and I'd hate to tell you what abuses I've shown to food over the years and the hideous combinations I've subjected myself and others to, at least yours sounds edible, almost appetising, but I'll settle for the egg noodles if you don't mind. John




Reviewed by Christine Alwin	9/29/2008

tooooo funny Karla!




Reviewed by Felix Perry	9/29/2008

I can certainly emphazize with this, when my mother in law who lived with us got older she still wanted to help out by cooking supper for my wife and I as we both worked...the menu for supper that night was to be corned beef and cabbage but failing eyesight produced as you might guess corned beef and lettuce. lol hugs Fee




Reviewed by Juliet Waldron	9/29/2008

In my old enormous garden + poverty days I used to do do this with the mountains of excess lettuce I had. But for your kapushta the texture would be wrong, and the taste is so mild. (I'd put soy sauce on it, dump it over brown rice and we'd eat it. Pretend Chinese!)




Reviewed by Elizabeth Price	9/29/2008

lol. Have you been in my kitchen? It sounds like it. Put some ranch dressing on it and I'll have a go at it. Love it. Liz




Reviewed by Kate Burnside	9/29/2008

... so you cook with imagination and flair?! I bet it tasted wonderful! :)) Having edited a load of cookbooks in my time, I will cook with about anything and everything and pay little heed to recipe ingredients, so this cheers me enormously. Mind you, it could explain why my visitors stick to tap water and a biscuit when they come to my house, but at least that makes entertaining relatively cheap! Go you... can't wait to try your chilli carrotcake! :)) xx




Reviewed by john zimmerman	9/29/2008

talk about making lemonade! we never know where the muse will strike next good use of alternative ingredients john+




Reviewed by Rebecca Russell	9/29/2008

I never had this happen with lettuce or cabbage, but I did make something my family refers to as "Barf Cake" once. Rebecca




Reviewed by Gene Williamson	9/29/2008

Sounds like something I would do if I could cook. Love the way you go from crisis to crisis, Karla. Think I'll fix myself a BLCEE sandwich. -gene




Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat	9/29/2008

Karla, Are you taking lessons from me? This was adorable. Guess you had Chinese instead of German. Very cute write. Mary




Reviewed by Ed Matlack	9/29/2008

That doesn't look too good, nor would I like it with cabbage, though I know Rene would love it, she just loves "Polish" dishes...? Ed




Reviewed by Linda Law	9/29/2008

Yukk.... but I do love cabbage... not many do. Fried lettuce...no thank you! Cute story tho.... told very calm, cool and cabbaggie.... funnnnny. lindalaw




Reviewed by Michael Howard	9/29/2008

Such a funny/humorous take on such a simple thing as "Cabbage", I will be looking forward to reading your other poems now. :^)




Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado	9/29/2008

Whoops is right!! LOL Too funny, Karla; at least you didn't poison either one of us; we're still here!! LOL Funny write; brava! (((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :D




Reviewed by Flying Fox Ted L Glines	9/29/2008

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Karla you are a maniac and we love ya to pieces. If this really happened, I'll bet you and Karen laughed yourselves to death!!! We must have went to the same chefs' school ... hehehe :-) Ted




Reviewed by Paul Berube	9/29/2008

Cabbage? Cabbage? Ain't nuttin in the world smells worst than that of cabbage cookin'. Give me the corned beef and hold the (skunk) cabbage. Well done Karla.




Reviewed by Rose Rideout	9/29/2008

No thank you Karla, I'll stick to my beans and weiners with toast. Thank you for sharing. Newfie Hugs are on the way, Rose




Reviewed by Bonnie May	9/29/2008

I wish I could remember those stupid letters, ROTHGF HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Love, Bonnie




Reviewed by Regis Auffray	9/29/2008

I hate cooking. Waste of time. Wish I did not need to eat. But your poem is fine, Karla. Cabbage. So unlike me. Love u lots though, Regis




Reviewed by Denise Edwards	9/29/2008

hehehehe! had that happen to me when I was a young cook, experimenting with foods. made a lovely boiled lettuce, tomato and bacon soup! I needed a good laugh, thanks Karla

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