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Axilea MU

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Member Since: Nov, 2006

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Featured Book
Flutterby
by ellen george

Flutterby by Ellen George, ISBN: 978-0-9831738-4-7, Sleepytown Press. Children's Illustrated Book..  
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Her Book
by Axilea MU
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Axilea MU
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           >> View all 273

mineral landscape
open like arms
and freedom endless
dotted with shelters
seashells around her feet
right where her movement and weight are recorded
on the living carpet of sand

there she sat with a book

she sat with questions
like echoes born from white waves
messages that enter the conscience
with the insistence of persisting dreams

dead crab with broken joints
slowly digested by the sea
and ideas painted in words
deconstructed and taken in
by fingers that turn pages
eyes that glow in the evening sun
shivering skin that breathes in

until later

heavy fog falls
oppressing those higher dreams
cushioning the sound of strings
that vibrate in her soul

who would have thought
that a woman on a winter beach
would have to carry on her soft arms
the weight of a sky
                             ready to fall?
                             a writer

words given – words taken
she confronts the gravity of darkness
and laden clouds watched
until they break against distant rocks
like mythical war ships
while her spirit
                             is harbored by a book

 

 

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Reviewed by Sheila Roy
Love this one! Excellent:)
Sheila
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain
Axilea,

Absolutely stunning . . . !!


Best wishes,

Lance
Reviewed by William DeVault
Very good flow and concept. The images are excellent. Very proud of you.
Reviewed by Bernice Lakota
Wao, all those images in my mind. You are very deatiled and I can so see every word, this is without a doubt majestic!
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
So descriptive and enticing. To be with her would break the spell.

Ron
Reviewed by Cryssa C
Your poetry always creates such fantastic images in my mind...
The insistent thoughts that stream in and invade our dreams...whether or not we want them too...I know those thoughts well! Maybe I will have to write a poem about that now...
Cryssa
Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Ah yes, her spirit being harbored by a book. Many of us can relate, I'm sure. And to being Atlases. Such crips images, such tenderness and softness, too. This resonates with the warmth of feeling and also with the calm collectedness of keen observation and perception. Such an intelligent balance of tensions is masterful. xx
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
You have written a masterpiece here... can't believe anyone would critisize this work, Her Book'. Bravo! Love, Holly
Reviewed by Dawn Anderson
You - are a master of words. Unique and exceptional...as always.
Reviewed by jude forese
"like mythical war ships
while her spirit
is harbored by a book"

the ending analogy really caught my attention ... the first and third verses are configured perfectly ...
Reviewed by E T Waldron
Axilea, your images are superb,the poem wraps around me like a soft blanket on a chilly day at the beach and every word you write is felt as I read the book...exceptional!

Eileen
Reviewed by Michelle Mead
You have such a talent of creating this other world outside themselves for the reader, and talented you are.
Reviewed by Christine Alwin
A book can take one any where,, Your poem is unique, masterfully written!
Reviewed by E. Farrand
Hi Axilea, I love the last line: "While her spirit is harbored by a book"

Safety from the real world to be sure.
Reviewed by Felix Perry
I love the way you look at life and people in such an open verse format, words are so easily twisted and turned and can be so powerful as to chane the perspectives of all.

Fee
Reviewed by Art Sun
Nice work Axilea...the reflection of thoughts are as those wave you write of...they continue onto the shores and carry those footprints away...even life is not free from each and every word or thought...those visions are the reasons we write and we read...books are more than just words....they are life...

nice...

Art Sun...
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Concur with Charlie on this one: will just ditto what she said. :)

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Liana Margiva
WONDERFUL!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOUR WORDS!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Reviewed by Ted Bossis
You clearly deposited an inner~self of surprising-truth and beauty.~.evol Ted
Reviewed by Debashish Haar
A very thoughtful poem with some excellent images. But then some of the images are a little too enigmatic and poetic, which aren't allowing the poem to raise beyond a personal experience, e.g., "freedom endless
dotted with shelters
seashells around her feet".
Also you have used passive voice at times where one would expect an action, e.g., "deconstructed and taken in
by fingers that turn pages"
and
"while her spirit
is harbored by a book"

The last line could be "while a book harbors her spirit", and do not see the necessity of that line break after "spirit".

D



Reviewed by Charlie
I love all those w's! I'm a-wash with them... My favorite image, the living sand, and "seashells" placed just after your line about freedom and shelters. I see (sea?) myself climbing into one of them to read-- a great big mussel shell to shield me from the storm coming--or came? At any rate, I love how you capture and hold a scene, and build a poem around it--merging the metaphor with the drama-- it creates deep atmosphere that saturates the readers' minds. Your writes never disappoint. --Charlie
Reviewed by Gene Williamson
Axilea, I continue to envy your mastery of language
and line...

who would have thought
that a woman on a winter beach
would have to carry on her soft arms
the weight of a sky
ready to fall
a writer

perfect alliteration. Perfect poem. -gene.
Reviewed by John Flanagan
Axilea,
You make such a connection here with the reader, the poem so centred and grounded, its atmosphere palpable and firm and the imagery perfect for the setting, and that final stanza shifting to another gear as it were brings it all wonderfully home. For me, this is one of your very best poems. Bravo!
John
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price
Awesome imagery and metaphors. Liz
Reviewed by Axilea MU
Thank you Richard!
Reviewed by Richard Atwood
Lovely:
"laden clouds... break against the distant rocks
like mythical war ships...."

"the weight of a sky
ready to fall?"

(But check line 6. - ?)
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