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Mr. Ed

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Member Since: Apr, 2003

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· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

· Cemetery Island

· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

Short Stories
· Home For The Holidays

· Two Bonded Street Orphans, In From The Cold

· A Survivor's Tale

· Pigs, Turtles, and Bugs!

· Gentle Cemetery Dog Finally Safe

· Freezing, Starving, and Scared

· A Home For The Holidays

· The Dog On The Tracks

· The Dog Who Rescued Other Dogs

· Scruffy's Resurrection

· The 2014 Home 4 The Holidays Campaign

· Saving Our Canine Vets, This Veterans Day

· November is 'Adopt-A-Senior-Pet' Month

· National Pit Bull Awareness Day

· Keep Your Pets Safe This Halloween

· October is 'Adopt-A-Dog' Month

· Pet Theft Is On The Rise

· The Humane Society of Louisiana

· The Story of Chuck

· What Pet Abandonment In America Looks Like

· Canis Latrans

· Over Five Thousand A Day Are Dying

· Ode To An Underdog

· Snowy Morning Walk

· Frozen Tears

· He Took A Bath Once

· A Lovely Day For A Swim

· First Snow

· End of Year Ponderings

· They Give Far More Than They Receive

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· Chicken Soup for the Soul: Loving Our Dogs

· The Daily Mews

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Another Review For Curious Creatures-Wondrous Waifs

· Recipient of the 2006 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award

· International Writing Award

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  Old Saint Sweaty Michelob
by Mr. Ed
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Canis Latrans
•  Over Five Thousand A Day Are Dying
•  Ode To An Underdog
•  Snowy Morning Walk
•  Frozen Tears
           >> View all 1,501



Inspired by my Irish Pal,

A.D. Member Tom Hyland,

Who Gave Me Some Old Memories,

Which To Me, Are Truly Very Grand.



“ED, I always knowed youz POLES spelled stuff real Funny,


That's a HELLUVA name for a SAINT!”


Tom Hyland


Actually, my wacky Irish friend,

The Polish Santa is Swiety Mikolaj;

Which translated means ‘Saint Nick’

Now, was that so danged hard?????


And we Polacks don’t drink Michelob,

We drink Polish Zywiec – Dark and Light;

It goes down mighty smooth with a Polka,

And they’ll both make you sweat, all night.


And when we get done dancin and drinkin,

There ain’t nothin better than some Zupa Piwna;

But I haven’t found anyone who makes Beer Soup,

Any better than my dear old Polish Babcia (Grandma).


And your hilarious pronunciation of Swiety Mikolaj,

Brought back some marvelous old memories for me;

Dziadek (Grandpa) always hosted Holiday Poker Games,

And I learned to play (and drink), while perched on his knee.


As the Polish Christmas Carols and Polkas were sung by all,

And the Zwiec and Zupa Piwna were eagerly lapped up by me,

At midnight, Matka (Mom) always tried to hustle me off to bed,

But my Grandpa would yell, “Corka! (Daughter) Let my Edju be!”


“And get my Dobje Chlopczyk (Good Boy) some more Zupa!!”


Good old Polish Zywiec has been our most popular beer since 1882;

And Saint Swiety Mikolaj always visited good little Polish kids like me,

On December 6th (his Feast Day), leaving sweets and presents, in our shoes.


Oh, and Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia,

That Means Merry Christmas, My Friend!


And I Would Love To Hear About

Other Old Ethnic Holiday Traditions.


©2008, Old Mr. Pee Wee Edju, The Very Merry Old Polack,

Who Still Looks For Those Goodies In His Shoes On December 6th;

But my very nasty Apache Wife just refuses to put anything in them;

She sniffed my sweaty boots, and I think they somehow made her sick.


But my dogs love smellin my old boots; I think they’re all Polish, too,

When I put on a good old fashioned Polka, around the room, they zoom!

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Reviewed by Tom Hyland 12/1/2008
ED - NOSTROVYA !!! What a fine piece of nostalgic Ethnic storytelling!

But now you've gone and done it! started a whole bunch of other ethnic individuals into commenting with other 'funny-spelled' FOREIGN words!

If this concept catches on, the next thing ya know, the entire voicemail phone system will be saying: PRESS 1 for POLISH, PRESS 2 for LITHUANIAN, PRESS 3 for SOMETHIN ELSE - and poor ole ENGLISH will be relegated down to PRESS 9 for ENGLISH!

But, in a way, that could be GOOD - at least that freakin' SECOND LANGUAGE of ESPANOL, might get bumped downward also - I HOPE!

Well, actually, you did say that I INSPIRED this wonderful walk down Memory Lane, so I guess the onus is really on me, not you?

SO - HAPPY SWEATY MICHELOB to ALL you Polski * Ogorkis out there! Polish Pickles!

P.S. - I noted that MOLLY posted the longest comment I've ever seen from her - That's a PLUS! and used some Funny Foreign words I don't know, to boot! I'm guessing maybe GERMAN? jasmin & Karla likewise!

I MARRIED A POLLACK - possible book or poem title?

May 7th, 1966 - Polish Band, Polish Waltz? Chipec? where I had a HAT on my head adorned with little plastic BABIES, and we both wore Necklaces with more BABIES - Polish SMALL Dance- had to throw my Wallet in the Apron, pick her UP (instant Hernia), and CARRY her OUT THE DOOR! - Polish Krushchikis (Bow Ties) - Polish Garlic Sausage (YUM) -

LYRICS from a song written by someone ? here in Ole Baltimore -

"In Heaven there is no Beer.
that's why we drink it here,
and when we're gone from here,
all our Friends will be
Drinking all the Beer!"

La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La ...

Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia! <-
learned that from a young woman from WARSAW, many years ago!

Your Goofy IRISH Friend - TomSKI HylandSKI -NON POLKSKI ...


Reviewed by Dawn Anderson 12/1/2008
Cute and fun write! Enjoyed it.
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 11/30/2008
Awwwwwww, poor lil' pee-wee/Edju, no sweets for the sweet or is it sweat, you got me so lost with this one...;-) e
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader) 11/30/2008
Truly what I needed to read & hear...makes life feel good! Gotta love this one! Love Holly
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 11/30/2008
After reading this one we took Jersey to the ER near by, he got so confused that he thought he was high and dying, so lil'brother cool off those polish epitets! Mom aren't pleased with your mouth.

Edvard the Elder

PS: I see your Zywiec beer and raise ten Coors! what about that! ! !

Reviewed by Felix Perry 11/29/2008
Excellant and most interesting write Ed, enjoyed the details.

Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 11/29/2008
Roll out the barrel and we'll have a barrel of fun. Love this one. Liz
Reviewed by Peter Paton 11/29/2008
You ain't anything yet until you have sampled a traditional Scottish wedding Ed !
Kilts, bagpipes and el haggis..;)
Great entertaining write from your most eloquent pen

Reviewed by Patricia Guthrie 11/29/2008

That was so great. I love polka music. It immediately picks me up. ;-)
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 11/29/2008
Oh my ,this is so cute..well done sweet man...Hugs
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 11/29/2008
What a great read,,,I loved the poka weddings such fond memories!
Reviewed by D Johnson 11/29/2008
You might be right Chicago Eddie, but their ain't nuttin like a Labbat's on a hot day, even if it is Canuck....

Reviewed by E T Waldron 11/29/2008
Ed this is such a splendid fun filled delight!
I have similar memories from my childhood,but
with my ex husband it had to be his way grrrr
humbug was his attitude!;-) Thanks for stirring
up the great memories,I enjoyed!I'd like to read
others tradidions too!

Tiger Lily
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 11/29/2008
Good write, Ed; bravo!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

Care if I dance a polka with you?? :)
Reviewed by Amber Moonstone 11/29/2008
Good Old Mr. Ed, back in rare form. What a laugh, what a poem..Loved it!
Peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
Reviewed by Donna Quesinberry 11/29/2008
Mr. Ed,

Love it-from start to finish. Wonderful fun and entertaining read.

Thank you, ~Donna.
Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope) 11/29/2008
With this great festive mood I´m sure you are contented, your happiness is spilling over to this side of the world, where I live.
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 11/29/2008
enjoyed this fun and informative read. perhaps you could speak to guye the dog, he chewed toe of my klompen, but thank goodness on december 5 Sinter Klaas always leaves something in spite of him.

Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 11/29/2008
Oh Ed my friend, I had a most happy heart when I first heard that beautiful polka, even before I got to the most wonderful hilarious poem, so thanks this is going to be a happy day because of you, I can't top your most beautiful story, so all I can say to you is,
Frohe Weihnachten, and bless you a thousand times! Jasmin Horst
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 11/29/2008
You've got me smiling, tapping my feet, and suddenly wanting a draught of Swiety Mikolaj to go with my Kluski Kapusta Po! Mmmmmmmmmm. Polish food: that's good eatin'. YUMMY!

Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 11/29/2008
this is truly marvelous!!
Reviewed by Bonnie May 11/29/2008
Fantastic write Ed, fun and festive. My husband drank Pulskie Pivo for years back east and it was the best and cheapest beer you could buy. Took alot of teasing but he wouldn't change until F&S went out of business. Great write. Love and hugs, Bonnie

Books by
Mr. Ed

My Dog Is My Hero

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Where The Redwing Sings

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Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

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Cemetery Island

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Gold River Canyon

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Mystery of Madera Canyon

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  1. A Journey Of Self Discovery
  2. I Was
  3. An Empty Chair
  4. Birthday in Heaven
  5. Footprints in the Sands of Time…
  6. I Hear The Night That Calls My Name
  7. Death Comes Knocking
  8. Ah for those wild, wild days to return...
  9. And, I Still Remember Daddy
  10. The Music of Your Time
  11. Cry Bosnia
  12. A Million Dreams Ago
  13. He was but Four...
  14. Windchimes In The Rain
  15. Snowy Morning Walk
  16. That Old Ed Family Shack
  17. Life is But a Vapor
  18. My Name is Alienation
  19. Twenty-Six Years
  20. Broken Children

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