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Lori L Moore

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Member Since: Mar, 2002

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I Am Free
by Lori L Moore

Thursday, August 22, 2002

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Recent poems by Lori L Moore
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           >> View all 313

Vicious stab wounds
open my flesh
draining blood
into a cherry-like vermilion pool...

Ruby red droplets of life
run down the valley of my arm
dripping rhythmically past my elbow
permanently staining the hard wood floors...

My speech, no longer voluble
begins to slur as I once again lose
all sense of consciousness...

My vivacious mind loses touch with reality
as I slowly die a cowards death...

My life, having lost all value years ago
finally succumbs
to one unalterable suicide attempt...

I am, at long last, free...

Sometimes I feel dark. I hope this is not too far out there.

This was a challenge to use the words vermilion, vicious, vivacious, voluble, valley, and value in a poem.

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Reviewed by fare good (Reader) 9/23/2002
My sister you must continue to live within your words I have been this road. Your mission on this earth is not complete. Continue to rise and God will be there for you. I read your work with such a gentle spirit that you display. I can see you writing children books. Your spirit is very calm, and you write with truth an love.
Reviewed by richard poor 9/16/2002
nothin is too far out long as it comes from within....i think this is a good piece.
Reviewed by Cheryl Gittens-Jones 9/12/2002
another excellent write. Cheryl
Reviewed by Nia Rose 8/30/2002
Dynamic write, way to go!
Reviewed by Muhammad Ali Panhwar 8/30/2002
Hi dear,
A very nice flow with a challenging combination of words! Bravo..
Reviewed by Timothy Flaherty 8/30/2002
Lori, thank God you don't feel that way now! Writing can be such a release during those dark days. God Bless you! Tim
Reviewed by Larry K. 8/30/2002
Lori, that was a very close to being too real. I am an ER nurse, and see just the results of those feelings everyday, and your words expressed them very well.
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 8/30/2002
Not too far out at all, I believe almost every sensitive person has felt this if not acted on it at one time or another. This is good work Lori.
Reviewed by Sanil nath (Reader) 8/26/2002
Congrats ...
wonderful challenge ...
you did it better ..
Keep it up

Reviewed by Mark Mahoney 8/24/2002
great well worked poem that reads as well as its written, take care of yourself..Mark...
Reviewed by Mark Mahoney 8/23/2002
Excellent seperation of voice in the verse. from emotions..
Reviewed by Amor Sabor 8/23/2002
I would love to think, believe and know you are truly free. An excellent poem with the usage of those very vivid verses.
Reviewed by Cathy Montgomery (Reader) 8/23/2002
Powerfully felt write--you more than met the challenge...
Reviewed by Dena Moore 8/23/2002
Poetry is the best therapy, in my opinion. Dark Poetry is an excellent way to get the subconscious (or conscious!) negative thoughts out without harming anyone, including yourself. This is not too far out, not at least not to me, but then I write dark poetry myself:) Good job, Lori...I like it.
Reviewed by Gumby Pokey (Reader) 8/23/2002
Lori I actually find most of my better writes are the dark ones because there is usually more dark experiences to draw from life then happy ones.
so I wouldn't worry about it
And this was another masterpiece. you are so very talented
Reviewed by Maria Lupinacci 8/23/2002
I love working with challenges in poetry, it is another way to defuse the negatives!! You have handled this one very well! And Hey, you should see the poem I just posted! LOL! It is dark, we are human, and it does pass!
Hopefully, our words when we are in this place, will bring comfort to someone else who is there also. So they will know they are not walking alone!:o) That is how I feel anyway, when I read poetry that expresses a feeling I have known all too well, regardless of the emotion!


Reviewed by Dens Dreamweaver (Reader) 8/22/2002
and you took those words and created a masterpiece! Excellent write my friend.

Hope all is well in your world...

Reviewed by Alexander Shaumyan (Reader) 8/22/2002
Here are some nice song lyrics, Lori. Suicide is too easy. Some folks live in a bubble and need to face the real world. I care about you but I'm tired of all the lies. And the United States is just a small part of the world.
Love, Alex


by Rodriguez

The moon is hanging in the purple sky
The baby's sleeping while its mother sighs
Talking 'bout the rich folks
Rich folks have the same jokes
And they park in basic places.

The priest is preaching from a shallow grave
He counts his money, then he paints you saved
Talking to the young folks
Young folks share the same jokes
But they meet in older places.

So don't tell me about your success
Nor your recipes for my happiness
Smoke in bed.
I never could digest
Those illusions you think to have going.

The sun is shining, as it's always done
Coffin dust is the fate of everyone
Talking 'bout the rich folks
The poor create the rich hoax
And only late breast-fed fools believe it.

Reviewed by Jenni Kalicharan 8/22/2002
Great usage of words, Lori..
Reviewed by jude forese 8/22/2002
will you really be?
Reviewed by E T Waldron 8/22/2002
It is always a pleasure to read your writing whatever the subject ,because you do it with such flair!
Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson 8/22/2002
peggy is right I too use as therapy it feels good to get it all out "better out than in" I hear it
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