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A Serviceable Villain

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A Bad Little Kitty
by A Serviceable Villain
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Recent poems by A Serviceable Villain
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           >> View all 256

'I had just about had it, so I called animal control'

A bad little kitty moved into my neighborhood

It does whatever it wants; empties people’s trash

Chases dogs – to them it taunts; scratches up any

and all Landau roofs; uses my friend’s daughter’s

sandbox to do number one . . .


Marks its’ territory – by the yard; swims in pools

as it watches bathers run inside; sharpens its’ claws

on all of my trees; I see its’ eyes glowing in the dark

and it gives me the creeps; the guy behind me no

longer has chickens in his coop . . .


I had just about had it, so I called animal control

The chasers became the chasees; so then I phoned

911 – K9 patrol; the German Shepherd was so scared

it hid in the trunk; then an announcement came

over my radio, escaped tiger . . .


“A Bengal Tiger has escaped from the zoo, please

remain inside – keep all doors and windows locked”

But this was Sunday and I had to go to church; so I

grabbed my Gideon’s Bible and off I went; the tiger

showed-up and thought, “Hmmm, live pray . . .”


The minister quickly hid under the pulpit; the choir

started singing, “Nearer, My God, To Thee” – music

hath charms, the Bengal Tiger laid down and fell

asleep; animal control came and took the bad little

kitty back to the zoo . . .


‘2009’ RLS



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Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/11/2009
OH"OH"OH this is one BAD Kitty!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 2/9/2009
now that is a purr-fect lil cat napping
Reviewed by Edwin Hurdle 2/9/2009
I enjoy reading this poem.Great work.take care.Thanks for the laugh.You always know how to put smiles on people's faces

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 2/9/2009
Now that is one Bad Kitty - and I love that graphic!
Reviewed by E T Waldron 2/8/2009
Fiction or not, it's a good one
and the images made me laugh!;-)
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 2/8/2009
Rats Are Cleaner And Safer Than Cats Why!?

Rats Follow Set Pattern...

Cats Sneaky Go Anywheres Trash Bins,Eat Pope,Filth Drag Disease With Them,i.e.. I Just Hear All Cat Lovers Taunting Me...

I Am Sick Cats Pissing On My Mag Wheels, Car Covers (I'd Rather Smell Dead Bodys)Ugh...Try Living In Los Angelese Sleazy Mexifornia----They're Same As Invaded Illegals Mexicanos By Millions...

Keep Em Comen Write Right On...

Reviewed by John Flanagan 2/8/2009
You're a wicked wicked man! Everything's great here, in particular 'live pray' and the hymn of mercy and resignation.
Yes, yes and yes.
Reviewed by Carin Spirit 2/8/2009
Too Funny!! Thank you for making me smile. ...and thank you for your coo's to Bonnie's tribute.
Reviewed by Elizabeth Hobbs 2/8/2009
Hi Robert
I like the poem. I guess you restrained yourself from a few stronger sentiments. Cheers! Liz
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 2/8/2009
That naughty kitty, he shall have no pie....:) Great write,,,such a superb ending.
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 2/8/2009
Big bad pussy cat in church, and no one prayed for it, wasn't the time for tiger and the lamb ha, This is a most lighthearted and well written poem, but it gave me a mischievous idea, don't need any more of them, thank you anyway, loved it! Jasmin Horst
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 2/8/2009
LOL! BIG kitty kitty! Reminds me of going to the FW Zoo, standing at the plexiglass window, looking for the white tiger. I'm going, "Here, kitty kitty, HEERRRE, kitty kitty" when it stands up from under the ledge it was lying under: BIG kitty kitty! Such a cute write - you got words with BITE. :) And claws. They've made their way into my funny bone! Well done, Lance.

(((HUGS))) and love, karla.
Reviewed by J'nia Fowler 2/8/2009
I opened this page and was not let down by the bad kitty. Fun! Nearer My God To Thee, what a hoot. Hugs, J'nia
Reviewed by 000 000 2/8/2009
Loved this bad kitty tail..and your play with the words, live pray!
Lance, you have a way with your tails (tales) and words!
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 2/8/2009
Oh, this is fantastic, Lance; well done! And I love that piccy; that's to cool! BRAVO!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Bonnie May 2/8/2009
I knew I was going to love this as soon as I saw the title...many surprises as enveloped me into a serene enjoyment...Fantastic write Lance as you usually do with and hugs, Bonnie

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