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A Serviceable Villain

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The Apes of Wrath
by A Serviceable Villain
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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           >> View all 256

"See 'Dick' run . . . "

Astronaut drifts, heads for a monkey planet

Crash lands, is chased by the goon squad

Is drag-netted, grilled, tossed in the can

Meets a ‘Jane’ looking doll, thing swells.


Realizes he’s the only human that can jaw

Dons ‘Weissmuller’ threads; one too many

Cheetas – busts out; goons throw the lead

Drag-netted once again; won’t take the fall.


“Take your stinking paws off me you damn

dirty ape;” goon squad: “You’re getting a

three-spot;” is thrown in with ‘Jane’; put

there to copulate; “How about some privacy?”


Two compassionate monkeys ask ‘Dick’ to

tip his mitt – spill the beans; “I asked you

first!”  Takes them, the skirt, and ‘Doc’ to

explore by a beach; don’t forget the sunscreen.


Find a cave and inside the biggest discovery is

a ‘Betsy-Wetsy’ doll that says, “Ma-Ma”; ‘Dick’

puts two and two together and gets five; grabs

‘Jane’ and a heater – jump on the back of a horse.


Round the bend just about faints – sees the Statute

of Limitations – Tarzan appears, “I’m the lord of the

apes!” “In life, it don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got

that swing!”  Grabs ‘Jane’ and rides off into the sunset.


‘2009’ RLS


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Reviewed by J'nia Fowler 2/13/2009
Love it and also enjoyed the Planet of the Apes. "Statute of Limitations" made me laugh. Blessings and hugs, J'nia
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 2/12/2009
lol....great ending Lace..well done.
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 2/11/2009
Somehow It reminds me of Hillary Dillary Clinton Cry (Her Laugh) Of Female Frustrated Ape--I Think Ya Get Ma Drift...

Keep Em Comen...

Reviewed by John Flanagan 2/11/2009
Ah, Lance, you funny've just visually reprised the entire movie for me and thanks to your skills I can see it all clearly again, but this time I'm laughing and that's never bad. Thank you for this gem.
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 2/11/2009
Simply masterful and a most delightful read....

Be always safe,
Reviewed by Linda Settles 2/11/2009
Yep, you sure put a grin on all our faces!!!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/11/2009 true....“In life, it don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that swing... thingy!!”

You got me in stitches!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 2/11/2009
Super job, Lance; bravo!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson 2/11/2009
Wow! Great job!
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 2/11/2009
Another good 'un...e
Reviewed by Bonnie May 2/11/2009
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOlllll oh my, you are a creator of magical laughter...I don't think I'll stop all day....what a write...loved it Lance for it is one that only my friend can and hugs, Bonnie
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 2/11/2009
This one is so funny!!!...LOL!!!
Thanks for the chuckle, Lance!!!

Sandie Angel :o)
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 2/11/2009
Ho, Ho! I think I like your ending better than the movie's. And I recently watched it again, and I just love that classic line:
“Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"
Reviewed by 000 000 2/11/2009
Short and crazy version of "Planet of the Apes"
Dick and Jane and your movie review-- shining with the humor...only you can do!

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