Astronaut drifts, heads for a monkey planet
Crash lands, is chased by the goon squad
Is drag-netted, grilled, tossed in the can
Meets a ‘Jane’ looking doll, thing swells.
Realizes he’s the only human that can jaw
Dons ‘Weissmuller’ threads; one too many
Cheetas – busts out; goons throw the lead
Drag-netted once again; won’t take the fall.
“Take your stinking paws off me you damn
dirty ape;” goon squad: “You’re getting a
three-spot;” is thrown in with ‘Jane’; put
there to copulate; “How about some privacy?”
Two compassionate monkeys ask ‘Dick’ to
tip his mitt – spill the beans; “I asked you
first!” Takes them, the skirt, and ‘Doc’ to
explore by a beach; don’t forget the sunscreen.
Find a cave and inside the biggest discovery is
a ‘Betsy-Wetsy’ doll that says, “Ma-Ma”; ‘Dick’
puts two and two together and gets five; grabs
‘Jane’ and a heater – jump on the back of a horse.
Round the bend just about faints – sees the Statute
of Limitations – Tarzan appears, “I’m the lord of the
apes!” “In life, it don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got
that swing!” Grabs ‘Jane’ and rides off into the sunset.