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I REMEMBER

Another Father’s Day is here
And you’re closer in my heart today
I remember the trips to the zoo
You held me up to feed the giraffe
And squeezed my hand tight
While walking past the tigers
The salted peanuts we gave the elephants
Laughing at the monkeys as they play

I remember long trips to see your parents
In a small pink trailer they lived
So cramped and close like a closet
Grandpa had the filling station across the road
And rented U-Haul trailers out of a lot
Twice a month we went whether we liked it or not

I remember fishing trips we took
Where you showed me how to bait the hook
The gleam in your eyes as I caught a small fry
Helping me free it and saying “It’s too small to cook”
Just to stand there on the bank with you
Being by my side is really all it took

I remember long Saturday afternoons
Watching our black and white TV
It didn’t matter to me what was on
As long as I could just sit at your feet
Looking up to see your face and waiting for that smile
To come beaming down at me

I remember homework you helped me with
Long hours of sitting and patiently explaining
Math problems that I struggled over
That you made look easy, never complaining
I thought you to be the smartest daddy ever




I remember watching you shave
With lather all about your face
Worried you’d cut yourself
You showed me a slow steady pace
Of long strokes with that razor
Steam rising from the tap
And clouding the mirror
The squeak of hand against wet glass
As a small circle was cleared
And to finish a splash of Old Spice

I remember sitting on your lap
While driving long country roads
Letting me steer the wheel
As you gave the gas a tap
Fresh mowed hay in the air
Dust bellows from the tires
And the wind whipping my hair

I remember the look of dismay
At my first boyfriend
The sternness in your voice
As you reminded him of the time
To have me home no later than…
Coming home to find you in your chair
Acting like you weren’t waiting there

I remember the anger and sadness
When I told you I was leaving
The tears that came later
Ones I never saw at all
Daddy’s little girl no longer
Because I choose to go with Paul






I remember the first time you held her
She was so small in your big hands
Your first granddaughter
She rested against your shoulder
Like she had always been there
Your eyes gleaming with unshed tears
From pride and joy I had hoped
For the one you held so dear

I remember you called her the Judge
Nothing would make her smile
Such a sober one for a little pudge
Fat fingers curled around yours
Bouncing on your knee
Nope, she wasn’t going to budge
Not one smile would you see

I remember years later that fateful day
The Valentines you had brought
Those things I will never get to say
The blue eyes I would have sought
Wish I had known that was the last
I wouldn’t have let so much time pass

I remember your pleadings to let you go
The months of suffering and pain
Doctors giving us false hope, even so
We had to try, we had nothing else to gain
The courage you had was no more
We lost the battle; you had no more fight
We surrounded you with love your last day
And watched as you slowly gave up your light.


Dee ©2002/6/16

I dedicate this to my dad, who died before his time. He'll live forever in my memories.