My son came home from school today,
With a big smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To try and put me in my place.
'Guess what I just learned in Civics,
That's being taught by Mr. White?
It's all about the laws today,
They're called the 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
They say I need not clean my room,
And you can't make me cut my hair;
No one can tell me what to think,
Or say or even what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say;
I do not have to bow my head,
And I surely don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
I can pierce my tongue and my nose;
I can read and watch what I like,
And get tattoos from head to toe.
And don't you dare ever spank me,
Because I'll charge you with a crime;
And I can prove all my charges,
By the marks on this butt that's mine.
Don't even think of touching me,
My body's only for my use;
Not for all your hugs and kisses,
That's considered more child abuse.
Don't preach to me about morals,
Like Grandma use to do to you;
That's nothing more than mind control,
And guess what; it's illegal too!
Now Mom, I have these children's rights,
So don't try to influence me;
Or I'll call Children's Services,
They're better known as C.S.D.'
Mom's Thoughts and Her Reply
Of course, my first instinct was to,
Just toss him right out the back door;
But the chance to teach him a lesson,
Made me think just a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't simply let this go;
A smile slowly came to my lips,
This kid is messing with a pro.
The next day I took him shopping,
At the Salvation Army Store;
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
There's shirts and pants and shoes galore.
"I've called and checked with C.S.D,
They said they really didn't care;
If I bought you shoes from right here,
Instead of fancy Nike Airs.
"And I've canceled your appointment,
For you to take your driver's test;
The C.S.D. is not concerned,
So I'll decide just what is best."
I said "No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up anything to munch;
And tomorrow you'll start to learn,
How you can make your own bag lunch.
"Just save your raging appetite,
And wait until it's dinner time;
We're having liver and onions,
It's a favorite dish of mine."
He asked 'Can I rent a movie,
To watch on my own VCR?'
"Sorry son, I sold your TV,
To buy new tires for my car.
"I also rented out your room,
You must sleep on the couch instead;
The C.S.D. only requires,
Just a roof to cover your head.
"Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we're going eat;
The allowance you used to get,
Will buy me something pretty neat.
"And I'm selling off your jet ski,
Your dirt bike and your roller blades;
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It goes in effect right away!
"Hey hot shot, are those real tears,
And why are you down on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you,
Instead of calling C.S.D.?"