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Ed Matlack

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ATTENTION MEN: Flu news of the Swine variety...
by Ed Matlack

Friday, June 12, 2009
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Ed Matlack
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           >> View all 5,642

The above picture does of you tell,

If you have Swine (H1N1) flu, oh well,

But don’t worry, if you have it long enough,

That twisted thing “down there”,

Will eventually fall totally off, oh hell…


If you’re as old as me,

It won’t work anyway, see,

So losing it might otherwise be,

A godsend, as its said that men think too much with that head, oh gee…


And think of the sympathy we can get from the opposite sex,

Oh you poor man, does it hurt, maybe I can help you another grow,

Nothing much else can they do to help though,

Unless they are good with needle & thread, back on they can it sew…



© ed ;-) 6/12/09

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Reviewed by Tom Hyland 6/13/2009
J.D. ED - RE: Pic - Might make a good Wine Cork Remover!

PIGS - What all men are!
PIGS - High Sheriff n' Po-lice!
PIGS - Slutty Prostitutes!
PIGZ - A local Band-name - of Ex-Officers!

TK ... OINK?
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 6/13/2009
I'm thinking sympathy will not be
Especially after omelettes three
Still waiting here for the breeze of doom
Luckily I have a panic room.
Reviewed by George Carroll 6/13/2009
Such an imaginative write enticing to the women who go to the head of the class when something is lost.
Reviewed by E T Waldron 6/13/2009
no more depends for you lil devil,but that depends on whether you grow another one;-)are all jersey devils whacko;-) I won't tell ma...sis TL
Reviewed by Ray { The Great Canadian Buzzard } 6/13/2009
Quite the twisted tail in the picture
I'm doing my part to control the Swine Flu, I had BBQ pork chops last night
Enjoyed the write
Have a great day
The Buzzard
Reviewed by K. Mulroney 6/13/2009
Lol! I'm thinking if they could bottle that swine bug and sell it as a condom, things could get a bit "springy!". Very funny!
Reviewed by Walt Hardester 6/13/2009
I got it. Grew up on a farm and know what the pic is about. I'm a suspecting most folk don't get it, tres funny.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 6/13/2009
That twisted thing “down there”,
Will eventually fall totally off, oh hell…

I guess I better send you some more duct tape and super glue.

PS: I just read where Egg Yolk Baths make them fall off faster - Yikes!

Reviewed by Rose Rideout 6/13/2009
Of course we would help Ed, let us find that magnafying glass and tweezers. Some of us even know how to sew,lol. Have a wonderful day Ed.

Newfie Hugs, Rose
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 6/13/2009
I see that Ma haven't yet got the "hang" of it, she's terrible with needle and thread and kind of twist things like pretzels as you are a good example.
She wouldn't be near PeeWee or me very soon.

EDvard(k) the Stallion Ole Brother

Reviewed by Lori Moore 6/12/2009
Lol... hmmm, something positive might come from swine flu.

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