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Karen C Vanderlaan

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Horse preachers
by Karen C Vanderlaan

Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 474

a poem written in response to those who take money for items that take advantage of folks and cannot replace common sense and a true knowledge of horses.

Horse Preachers


You bought an incorrigible horse?

She rears when you bridle her,

He won’t stand when you mount,

She turns and runs to the gate when you ride,

And he kicks out when you tell him to go?


Well, buy my halter, pay double for my rope,

I have a new CD set that will cover any problem you have,

The cost is almost that of your saddle,

But, hey, it will fix all your problems!


And, I do clinics and symposiums,

You can use them as vacations,

After you see my magical techniques,

You can even train a wild mustang!


But don’t call me if you get hurt,

Or if you just can’t make it all work,

Just buy another book, or schedule to be at a clinic,

If you pay double, you can even bring your own horse.


I’ll spend a little time, make it all look quite simple,

Your steed and I will be loping around in no time.

You will be convinced of the magic I possess,

You will feel the thrill as you ride him when I’m done.


Once home, however, the magic soon comes undone.

In frustration you keep at it just a little longer,

Then your horse is listed in the classified ads,

And the halter, rope and CD collection,

Go to the highest bidder on E-bay.




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Reviewed by Sara Coslett 8/1/2009
Thanks for writing this poem, Karen. You should submit it to horse trade magazines. I never really thought about it, but after reading your poem, I can see, keeping a horse is more than just feed, exercise, and shoveling. ~ Sara
Reviewed by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper 7/31/2009
kind of sad Karen but the end made me laugh, kind of reminds me of the get rich on real estate books and videos, they got me once, right afterwards the bus boy to millionaire was locked up for running a scam on people. The programs are down in the closet somewhere, I wouldn't dare put it on ebay, cheers ;-)
Reviewed by Rose Rideout 7/31/2009
Truth and sadness within your words Karen. Thank you for sharing.

Newfie Hugs, Rose
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 7/30/2009
,,,such sadness in this Karen...heartfelt!
Reviewed by Nicole Weaver 7/30/2009
I like your passion ,very well penned.
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart 7/30/2009
You rock Lady. And there seem to be preachers on every corner for every product to fix every problem!
Reviewed by richard cederberg 7/30/2009
It's just the way it is sadly. enjoyed.
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 7/30/2009
I will never know why people do not want to realize they are the bad pet owner...some people have no idea what awful people they are to animals sometimes & it enrages me...I lived on a farm, I had just been delivered a young male & young female (quarter horses) just weened off momma. The female kicked her brother in the head & we had to put him down, now her wild self was that of an untamed beast...goodness, but with time & patience we beacame buds, she would even lay down & roll over in the cow lot for me to give her a tummy rub was so beautiful...I loved breaking her & riding her too...
Love, Patience & more love for animals!!!
Love & Inspirations
Reviewed by Timothy Flaherty 7/29/2009
Horses like people are individuals and each one needs it own special care. Good job exposing the one stop fix for all.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 7/29/2009
those who take money for items that take advantage of folks

How so sadly true, in so many areas, today.
Reviewed by Dawn Anderson 7/29/2009
How well you've expressed this....anything promised for a price...butin the end, who pays?
Reviewed by E T Waldron 7/28/2009
As you know Karen,not evryone should own a horse. They need respect and care just like humans. You have the love they need
that makes them the best they can be. This is a fine poem
and many can benefit from it!

Reviewed by Marcia Miller-Twiford 7/28/2009
WOW! Very well done Karen. The wildest horse becomes a gentle being in the hands of a gentle trainer.
Reviewed by Lori Moore 7/28/2009
There are charlatans in every field… and unfortunate people who for a plethora of reasons fall for their pitch. "Preacher" is certainly a good word choice in this case. Enjoyed.

Reviewed by George Carroll 7/28/2009
Put your money on the nag
Reviewed by Felix Perry 7/28/2009
Love this and the feel of a scam in action sort of like a TV evangelist for horses...only if you believe send money.
Reviewed by Dale Clark 7/28/2009
kind of like try a horse whisperer ;) I always
used the gentle manner with my horses... didn't always
work, but I felt better about it.
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 7/28/2009
My grandpa didn't have a choice, no CD at the time, but I heard about his method with a difficult horse, he would put his forehead against the nag forehead and shout all he could a variety of phrases and words that would take the barbs of a hedgehog! LOL
That horse, they said, after that was a pussycat!


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