Join (free) | Login 

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Kevin Weeks, iByron Edgington, iThomas Neviaser, iOwen Thomas, iLinda LeBlanc, iAaron Cole, iDiana Estill, i
  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Patrick A Granfors

· Become a Fan
  Notify me of new titles
  added by this author.

· 554 titles
· 6,296 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
Member Since: May, 2009

   My Blog
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

Short Stories
· First Flight

· Strawberry Green Springs

· Transitions

· Drip Line

· Fabulous Eight Bean Soup

· Consequences

· Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

· Phobos-Grunt Re-entry

· My Second Ozark Boat Ride

· Marinating on my TV

· A Penny For My Thoughts?

· Time for Confusion

· Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation

· Alzyisms - Part 6

· Somebody Blinked

· Bend

· Drink About It

· Dominos

· Standard Issue

· Wisdom of the Wind

· Rainy Day Poem

· Can You Imagine

· The Beer Standard

· Kubic

         More poetry...

Patrick A Granfors, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

  A Baker's Dozen More of 5 Cent Refrains
by Patrick A Granfors
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Rated "PG" by the Author.

Share   Print   Save Become a Fan

Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
•  Standard Issue
           >> View all 528

Mostly Insults...Hope you're in the mood.


If you think my dog is crazy

You should see my other child

There’s something in my DNA

That makes all my offspring wild



My silly monkey’s uncle

Got in bed with uncle’s aunts

The monkey business resulted

In the zookeep’s last romance



If I had to choose between a root canal

Or another night spent with you

The smell of drilled enamel

Would be welcome Déjà vu



You’ve got a strange sense of humor

On that we’ll both agree

What I fail to understand is why

You take it out on me



Every dog has its day

Some have more than others

Judging by your litters

You’ve been sleeping with your brothers



Displaying culinary talent

Isn’t something that you do

Water’s hard to boil

When you haven’t got a clue



You remind me of the tin man

Always looking for a heart

Not because you want one

But just to tear someone’s apart



You should have joined the circus

Instead of taking chances

There at least you could be trained

How to juggle your romances



Cedar, Pine and Maple

Are the things I tend to see

When I have to speak to you

It’s like talking to a tree




Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty’s wife went to the mall

A double disaster for Humpty’s ill fame

 Mrs. Dumpty spent his whole disability claim



You think you have the midas touch

Your ego just won’t quit

I’m here to burst your bubble

What you touch just turns to sh*t



Salt and pepper

Ice cream and cake

Being with you

Makes my head ache



Your middle name should be commercial

The way you crush my train of thought

With your 30 seconds worth of drivel

Your conversation lacks a plot



Copyright 2009 Patrick Granfors



Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by MaryGrace Patterson 9/7/2009
Lots of imagination went into these phrases!...M
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 9/7/2009
Being the dog lover that I am, I gotta say that Numbers 1 and 5 are my favorites!
Reviewed by E T Waldron 9/6/2009
when I want to put someone down I know who to cal! You sure do have a gift for it!;-) These are great!

  1. If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2. Finally looks like some significant snow i
  3. If women had udders...!
  4. I Downloaded A Virus
  5. Dillbert Pickle
  6. Like His Mother Used To Do
  7. Pet Port A Potty
  8. Somebody Blinked
  9. For Rent…Christmas Angel for Shoveling Sno
  10. Confusion say: Men who play with selves r
  11. Dear Santa...
  12. I Am So Bored...
  13. White Nose Hair
  15. I Want a Donut
  16. Dementia is Contageous
  17. Georgie Porgie
  18. See what happens when you leave your child
  19. Sexy Santa
  20. The Golden Years...

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.