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Tom Hyland

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  AN OLDE DITTY
by Tom Hyland
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Tom Hyland
•  SHRIMPY
•  OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...
•  ALL HALLOWS EVE
•  HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
•  CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL
           >> View all 514




UNFAITHFUL? WHO? ME?

NAAAAAAAAAAH ...







An Olde Ditty

© - Tom Hyland - 09-18-09

My eldest sister, Adele,
Was fourteen years my senior.

When I was about that age myself,
She was divorced, and raising three kids.

An Olde Ditty she taught to me
Just popped into my feeble brain.

“Johnny”

Oh - Johnny came home the other night -
As drunk as he could be -
Saw a horse in the stall,
Where his horse ought to be!

“Oh - Wifey Dear, come over here,
Explain this thing to me -
What’s this horse doin’ in the stall,
Where my horse ought to be?”

“Oh - you crazy fool, you drunken fool,
You’re blind and cannot see -
‘Tis nothin’ but a milkin’ cow -
That Momma sent to me!”

“Oh - I’ve traveled this wide world over -
A thousand times or more -
But a saddle on a milkin’ cow -
I never did see before!”

Oh - Johnny came home the other night -
As drunk as he could be -
Saw a coat on the rack -
Where his coat ought to be!

“Oh - Wifey Dear, come over here -
Explain this thing to me -
What’s this coat doin’ on the rack -
Where my coat ought to be?”

“Oh - you crazy fool, you drunken fool -
You’re blind and cannot see -
‘Tis nothin’ but a patchwork quilt -
That Momma sent to me!”

“Oh - I’ve traveled this wide world over -
A thousand times or more -
But pockets on a patchwork quilt -
I never did see before!”

Oh - Johnny came home the other night -
As drunk as he could be -
Saw a head on the couch -
Where his head ought to be!

“Oh - Wifey Dear, come over here -
Explain this thing to me -
What’s this head doin’ on the couch -
Where my head ought to be?”

“Oh - you crazy fool, you drunken fool -
You’re blind and cannot see -
‘Tis nothin’ but a cabbage head -
That Momma sent to me!”

“Oh - I’ve traveled this wide world over -
A thousand times or more -
But whiskers on a cabbage head -
I never did see before!”


I think there were other verses -
But that’s all I recall.


© - TKH



GOOGLED some words -
And found a similar variation -
Called -

THREE NIGHTS DRUNK!




http://joelmabus.com/1707_lyrics.htm























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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 9/21/2009
Clever, witty and humorous; thanks for sharing, Tom. Love and peace to you,

Regis
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 9/20/2009
;-)
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 9/20/2009
HA! Too funny, Tom, thanks for the laugh.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by D Johnson 9/20/2009
Tom, didn't I see you sing that song on "Hee Haw" a few years ago?

Cheers,
Dan
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 9/20/2009
Oh my..time for me to have a drink..sweet TK..cheers...great stuff ya have penned here darlin...Hugs,much love to ya..
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 9/20/2009
Now that's the explanation for my Captain Morgan Dark Rum stash is going down so fast! I gonna give that Johnny boy a run down the glens!

Georg




Books by
Tom Hyland



Bawlmer, Merlyn - Home of The Hons

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