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Mark M Lichterman

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Books by Mark M Lichterman
  At My Age (Humor)
by Mark M Lichterman
Friday, April 30, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mark M Lichterman
•  Elderly Woman
•  November
•  Words, I Need Words!
•  Really, What If
•  Sex Now
           >> View all 410



At My Age

 

So

let’s see...

At my age, now,

so,

so what’s so different?

Well...

There’s more salt in my hair than pepper.

An’ I still walk, uh...

kind’a straight

‘cept now an’ then

I get this hitch in my getalong.

Memory...

Uh, what was I saying?

Oh, yeah!

My memory ain’t much worse

then back than when I was...

Uh, what was I saying?

Yeah, I still remember stuff

like...?

Oh, yeah!

I remember,

uh, where’s the toilet?

it’s there...

There?

Then there’s teeth.

Teeth?

Well,

really there’s good an’ bad here.

Bad ‘cause bubble-gum don’t work so good.

Good ‘cause I don’t have toothaches

no-more.

An’ I’m not all that much heavier

now than when I was...

Okay,

so they say

as women age their stomachs go to their butts

an’,

so they say,

when men age their butts go to their stomachs.

Okay, so my butt’s slipped front-side

so now my belly’s like where my butt

used to be,

an’ my butt’s...?

hell I don’t have a butt no-more

‘cause my butt’s where my belly use’t’be.

What else?

Oh, yeah,

I see stuff far away

but not so good close to me.

sex

Huh, what’ch’ya say?

Sex!

Sex, yeah...

Always thought

when I stop thinkin’a  sex’ll

be the time I’ll be ready for diein’.

an’ as I ain’t ready to be diein’

I’ve become kind’a like a deranged

kind’a chemist thinkin’...

Hummm?

If I take a half’a’ one those almond colored pills in the mornin’,

you know that pill that’ll maybe’ll give me a four hour erection...

hell, we...

my lady’n me’ll settle for a twenty minute erection.

an’ I take one’a those blue kind’a pills an hour before,

maybe it’ll work an’ we’ll...

hell you know!

Oh, yeah,

an’ I almost always gotta pee.

 

 

 

 


mmlichterman.com


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Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald 4/13/2011
Smiles!!!! Loved it Markie
hug
kathy
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 5/6/2010
oh my...seems I am having visuals about all this medication :)

"Iíve become kindía like a deranged
kindía chemist thinkiní...
Hummm?"

not to worry Mark you're not alone
it's not deranged :)

Vickie


Reviewed by Carole Mathys 5/2/2010
What a hoot, Mark its like the old saying goes, growing old is not for sissy's...everyday surprises you with a new, shall we say twist, just when we thought we were in control of this aging thing. (smiles)
Well done!

Carole~
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 5/1/2010
Hilarious!!!! Great job Mark!!!

Anna (chuckle)
Reviewed by Rose Rideout 5/1/2010
Yep, that's life through n through. I know all about that salt in my hair, and my stomach well it's going somewhere as I don't have a big butt it must have gone straight to my boobs lol. But hey I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was as Toby Keith says in his song. Great one Markie.

Your #1 Newfie Friend Hugs XOXOXO, Rose
Reviewed by Felix Perry 5/1/2010
Sounds like life to me...lol
fee
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 5/1/2010
Drilling come to mind! (LOL)

Georg



Reviewed by Paul Judges 4/30/2010
Very good poem, Mark !
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 4/30/2010
"aní I always gotta pee"

...you ain't the only one, though you ought to try a foley catheter, and though I don't like it forever, it is nice to sleep all night through and not have to pee constantly...LOL, ED
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 4/30/2010
Much amusement here my friend. An' like they say a four hour erection might lead to Mr. Potato Head and his famous sprinkler system. Patrick
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