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Mark M Lichterman

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  At My Age (Humor)
by Mark M Lichterman
Friday, April 30, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mark M Lichterman
•  November
•  Words, I Need Words!
•  Really, What If
•  Sex Now
•  Smoke in The Wind
           >> View all 410

At My Age



let’s see...

At my age, now,


so what’s so different?


There’s more salt in my hair than pepper.

An’ I still walk, uh...

kind’a straight

‘cept now an’ then

I get this hitch in my getalong.


Uh, what was I saying?

Oh, yeah!

My memory ain’t much worse

then back than when I was...

Uh, what was I saying?

Yeah, I still remember stuff


Oh, yeah!

I remember,

uh, where’s the toilet?

it’s there...


Then there’s teeth.



really there’s good an’ bad here.

Bad ‘cause bubble-gum don’t work so good.

Good ‘cause I don’t have toothaches


An’ I’m not all that much heavier

now than when I was...


so they say

as women age their stomachs go to their butts


so they say,

when men age their butts go to their stomachs.

Okay, so my butt’s slipped front-side

so now my belly’s like where my butt

used to be,

an’ my butt’s...?

hell I don’t have a butt no-more

‘cause my butt’s where my belly use’t’be.

What else?

Oh, yeah,

I see stuff far away

but not so good close to me.


Huh, what’ch’ya say?


Sex, yeah...

Always thought

when I stop thinkin’a  sex’ll

be the time I’ll be ready for diein’.

an’ as I ain’t ready to be diein’

I’ve become kind’a like a deranged

kind’a chemist thinkin’...


If I take a half’a’ one those almond colored pills in the mornin’,

you know that pill that’ll maybe’ll give me a four hour erection...

hell, we...

my lady’n me’ll settle for a twenty minute erection.

an’ I take one’a those blue kind’a pills an hour before,

maybe it’ll work an’ we’ll...

hell you know!

Oh, yeah,

an’ I almost always gotta pee.


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Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald 4/13/2011
Smiles!!!! Loved it Markie
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 5/6/2010
oh my...seems I am having visuals about all this medication :)

"Iíve become kindía like a deranged
kindía chemist thinkiní...

not to worry Mark you're not alone
it's not deranged :)


Reviewed by Carole Mathys 5/2/2010
What a hoot, Mark its like the old saying goes, growing old is not for sissy's...everyday surprises you with a new, shall we say twist, just when we thought we were in control of this aging thing. (smiles)
Well done!

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 5/1/2010
Hilarious!!!! Great job Mark!!!

Anna (chuckle)
Reviewed by Rose Rideout 5/1/2010
Yep, that's life through n through. I know all about that salt in my hair, and my stomach well it's going somewhere as I don't have a big butt it must have gone straight to my boobs lol. But hey I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was as Toby Keith says in his song. Great one Markie.

Your #1 Newfie Friend Hugs XOXOXO, Rose
Reviewed by Felix Perry 5/1/2010
Sounds like life to
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 5/1/2010
Drilling come to mind! (LOL)


Reviewed by Paul Judges 4/30/2010
Very good poem, Mark !
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 4/30/2010
"aní I always gotta pee" ain't the only one, though you ought to try a foley catheter, and though I don't like it forever, it is nice to sleep all night through and not have to pee constantly...LOL, ED
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 4/30/2010
Much amusement here my friend. An' like they say a four hour erection might lead to Mr. Potato Head and his famous sprinkler system. Patrick

Books by
Mark M Lichterman

For Better or Worse

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The Climbing Boy

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  1. From the Institute of Word-ology
  2. Lack of civility...
  3. Sunny Days and Mondays
  4. This is Ed's computer talking...
  5. Democracy at Work
  6. Halloween is Coming!
  8. Ah, Shucks
  9. My Ass Is Grass
  10. SUCK...
  11. An expose' of the Pines Devil...
  12. The Mailmans Motto
  13. Summer Doth Approach...
  14. Sadie Graylow
  15. Confusion say: Men who play with selves r
  16. Smile, Darn It
  17. Over internet-ed...
  18. Road kill dinner...(first course)
  19. Mushmouth Kostro...
  20. A Southern Gentleman...

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