As You Walked Away
by Chantel Philogene
Sunday, May 30, 2010
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As You Walked Away
Today I watched you walk away for the last time. Every step you took my tears built up more and more, and as you disappeared in thin air my tears just hit the floor. Today was one of the hardest days of my life. Today I lost a lover a friend and a heart that won’t mend. As I sat there drench in all my tears, my mind began to wonder about all of those good years. I remembered our first laugh, first cry, first tear, first lie, first kiss, first hug, first I love you, first grudge. When I say that I love you I mean just that, all these feelings that I feel I could never get them back. I’m so sorry I’m doing something I can’t explain, I let you walk away thinking everything would be the same. I guess for the first time in our relationship I’ll take the blame. I don’t know how this will turn out and I don’t know where this will lead me. I need help on my side now the kind that won’t leave me. I spoke of my body being fond of pain but these feelings I feel takes on a new name. Soon I will know if I will live a life of happiness without you or a dreadful life of regret. But this move that I’m pulling will be your biggest regret yet. My eyes are burning from restlessness and tears. I’m scared, I’m lost, I’m helpless, I’m a shame. I built this whole lifestyle that doesn’t carry my name. my heart and my mind keeps playing tug-of-war, but I don’t deserve either one. I’m the only one that can lose this battle because all of the things that I’ve done. But today I watched you walk away and each step you took I stripped you of your joy and as you disappeared in thin air with not one beat in your chest to make it another day. Today I murdered love and let sanity slip away.
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