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Patrick A Granfors

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Short Stories
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  Beer N' Wasps
by Patrick A Granfors
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

Clever architechs, Trypoxylon Politum, aka, Mud Daubers, mean little shits. They make mud nests in various shapes. I can show you this one..see photo.
Photo:Organ pipe nest on my deck

I walked out on to my back deck

Thinkin’ to myself aw, what the heck

I gonna’ sit right down and have myself a beer

And stare at the lake and watch the boats

And confirm the rumor of wild goats

When a wasp landed right there on my knee

I believe in Kharma and everything

So I didn’t really think that he would sting

But I’ll be damned if he didn’t jab my hide

No provocation and it seemed so silly

To poke me for no good reason really

Thank goodness for the medicinal power of alcohol

But I got mad as the bee sting burned

It was now my chance to have Kharma returned

So I walked over to the faucet

And grabbed the water hose

I blasted their nest for sweet revenge

But they all flew out and one of them……

Stung my nose

There’s a moral to the story but it’s not good

When you’re drinkin’ beer deep in the wood

And assuming you don’t wish to do something you’ll regret

Spend some money on a big mosquito net



Copyright 2010 Patrick A Granfors




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Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 6/17/2010
Giggle....the imagery here is hilarious!!! A very good lesson in how to handle a wasp nest too.....well done, Patrick!!!

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater 6/16/2010
12 oz. of precaution is worth a cooler of iced beer and mosquito netting is made for a reason; to keep karma in its good graces and those wasps built their nest from mud cuz you're no longer in the shit. Sometimes it takes a sting or a cattle prod shock to makes us aware that karma is alive and well...and you be well.

Reviewed by Georg Mateos 6/16/2010
Were you smarter you had sent the wife with that water hose and drink your beer behind the closed mosquito-net door. (LOL)


Reviewed by Ed Matlack 6/15/2010
Don't listen to Mr Ed, just squirt that skunk when he wanders in, but put the hose on sprayer mode and it will likely block what he squirts back at you...just don't hurt the little guy, okay? Ed
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader) 6/15/2010
First the fires, now the hornets. You should switch beers man.
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 6/15/2010
You coulda got mad as a hornet and....

You have a wealth of nature to write well about. So you do.

Reviewed by Paul Berube 6/15/2010
Cute one, Patrick. Well done.
Reviewed by TONY NERONE 6/15/2010
Very good humor(not the ice cream) expressed here.

Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 6/15/2010
Now had you shared a beer with them instead of water, mud nests, meam little..... they build mud nests in many places, in Afghanistan for instance, you sure you identified them correctly ha, terrorists in your backyard, flying ones again, when will it end.
I feel your pain ha, Hugs! Jasmin Horst
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart 6/15/2010
LOL I love your humor Patrick but them damn stings hurt!
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 6/15/2010
well it's best to get them in the evening when they are all in
I always thought but goodness gettin stung is not good...
I stepped on a mud dauber when I was 13 & barefoot
it did not feel good right in the tender arch of my foot...
Reviewed by D Johnson 6/15/2010 coulda shared your beer with'm

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 6/15/2010
Wasps are merciless little beasties and got'ch'ya on nose and knee, huh? Well now you know if you're gonna blast a nest with water, better blast it from afar and plan to stay away for awhile. You gotta look really cute with a wasp stung nose.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 6/15/2010
You sure seem to have a problem with stinging insects. I learned my lesson, long ago - Live, and Let Live - I haven't been stung in a very long time now.

PS: When the skunk wanders onto your deck next, I'd advise not squirtin it with water!

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