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Tom Hyland

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Books by Tom Hyland
  Can You FATHOM This?
by Tom Hyland
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Tom Hyland
•  CROSSWORDS
•  ELF # 1
•  SHRIMPY
•  OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...
•  ALL HALLOWS EVE
           >> View all 516





YEAH, I KNOW - IT AIN'T A POEM! I LIED !

REFERENCE - GOOD CONVERSION TABLE SITE ...

http://www.easycalculation.com/marine/Nautical-Depth.php?meter=1&meterfeet=&meterfeetr=&meterfath=
&meterfathr=&feet=528&feetmeter=
NaN&feetmeterr=NaN.000&feetfath=NaN&feetfathr=NaN.000&fathoms=1&fathmeter=
1.8287999879299202&fathmeterr
=1.829&fathfeet=6&fathfeetr=6.000


READ ON MACDUFF ...





Can You FATHOM This?

© - Tom Hyland - 6/15/10

To measure the depth of water,
especially using a sounding line.
Usually done in shallow waters,
so your keel doesn’t run aground.

To understand something,
Usually something profound or mystifying.
Those are two uses as verbs.
As a noun, what is a Fathom?

A unit of length equal to 1.83 Meters,
Or 6 Feet - used mainly in nautical contexts.
So - let’s do the Math on -
“Deepwater Dummies Disaster.”

A Bunch of Dummies from our Government
Grant Permission, or License another
Bunch of Dummies from a Foreign Company,
In a Foreign Nation to Dig a Well in our Gulf!

One which is Deeper than any other done Heretofore!
One Mile Down, or 1,609 Meters, or 880 Fathoms!
OOPS! The Freakin’ Watch-a-ma-Call-it
Thing-a-ma-Jig Safety Valve Broke! DUH!

- DIGRESSION -

In researching facts for this Article, the word ‘League’
Came up - in Jules Verne’s Classic Book -
“20,000 Leagues Under The Sea”
A Translation error in the title resulted in a Misconception:


The original French was Plural - Seas - for ‘Seven Seas’
League is a measurement of Distance - not Depth!
A League represented a Nautical Distance for a Statute Mile
Or 3 Miles Long = 15,840 Feet!

Ergo, 20,000 Leagues in Nautical terminology
Represented a Distance Traveled of 60,000 Miles!
Or 2.5 Times the Circumference of the Earth!
That’s a Lot of Sea, or a “Whale of a Tale”!

- BACK TO THE ‘GULF SYNDROME -

Next, let us consider the BS of BP’s Stats -
1 Barrel = 42 Gallons - so 5,000 bbl = 210,000 Gallons/Day -
But Really 20,000 bbl/Day = 840,000 Gallons/Day -
Times 60 Days = 50,400,000 Gallons SPILLED +/- ?

THAT’S 1,200,000 BARRELS SPILLED!

AND IT’S BP’S OIL - NOT OURS!

ANY IDEA WHAT THE GAS PUMP COST WILL JUMP TO?

DUH!

But - just a Second there, Pard -
Do Not Dismay - For the Radio tells us that -
We Import Most of our Oil from our Neighbors Now -
Canada and Mexico - ‘They’ wouldn’t GOUGE us Would They?

WHAT ELSE IS LOST?

Destruction of Wildlife -
Fish - Fowl - Birds - Mammals -
Fishing Livelihoods - Shrimping Industry -
Crabbing Industry - Oyster & Clam Industry -
Tourist Industry - Restaurant Industry -
Jobs Lost: Cooks - Waiters - Bell-Hops - MORE!

Immense Repercussions Up and Down the ‘Food Chain’ -
Flora and Fauna Galore - covered in OIL!
Habitats Destroyed! Islands - Beaches - Barrier Reefs - Coral Reefs - Algae - Kelp - Plankton - Microscopic Organisms

... AND NO END IN SIGHT ...

The Ex-PURTS also tell us that -
IF - the ‘SPURT’ is ever Stopped -
We are looking at YEARS to Recover!
Not Days, Weeks, or Months - YEARS!

Meanwhile, our Illustrious Administration, Congress,
And Government ‘FLUNKIES’ are ASKING BP
To ‘Set Aside’ a ‘FUND’ of a Measley
Twenty Billion Dollars?

C’MON - BP is Worth Over 300 Billion!
Who in the Hell is ‘Minding The Store?’
Couldn’t be because of all the Past -
“Political Contributions” Could it?

“Ask not what your Country can do for you -
Rather, ask what you can do for your Country!”
Simple Answer Is ...
VASELINE YOUR RECTUM AND BEND OVER!

Any Individual American Who Votes for Any Incumbent
In November HAS TO BE AN ARSE-HOLE in my Book!

© - TKH.
 



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Reviewed by J'nia Fowler
The words "duck tape" keep rolling over and over in my itty bitty mind this morning. lol
Reviewed by Georg Mateos
If they did that outside Albion House, their Parliament would have been like hen house with a gang of hungry foxes inside...but here, in the US of A, every Congressman is in their payroll, so what's new?

Georg

Reviewed by Ed Matlack
I don't like vaseline, too oily, can I use KY jelly...;-) e
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
It ain't a poem. You lied. Loved it. Very funny if it weren't so sad. Recommend stock in Vaseline. Sure to rise. Patrick
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
One which is Deeper than any other done Heretofore,

One Mile Down, or 1,609 Meters, or 880 Fathoms!



As I mentioned in your article, BP already has several other deep water wells in the Gulf, at over 7,500 feet deep, that they can't wait to start pumpin - and, of course, being the idiotic oil-addicted nation that we are today - I'm sure they'll eventually get permission to do just that.



And Good Luck to our neighbors in Canada -



Chevron is already working on their latest deep water drilling effort - over a mile and a half deep, off their eastern seaboard.



When that one blows and their Canadian oil drifts south, and when this never ending, unstoppable Gulf Oil keeps drifting north, both countries can then start crying that the entire eastern seaboard of both nations is now Dead and Devoid of All Life.
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