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Iolanthe Woulff

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Member Since: May, 2010

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· She's My Dad

· A British Petroleum Afternoon

· Mom-in-Law

· That P Word

· Organized Religion

· So Long, Mr. Hot Pants

· Slough of Despond

· Malibu Majesty

· Lament for Eden

· The Faithbug

· Rain of Toxic Terror

         More poetry...

Iolanthe Woulff, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

  Let's Cat Serious
by Iolanthe Woulff
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Iolanthe Woulff
•  Purple Pickles
•  La Vieja Loca
•  The Bug
•  The Callous Sophisticate
•  The Web
           >> View all 56

The form of this piece is, of course, "borrowed" (ahem) from Edward Lear's incomparable nonsense poem THE AKOND OF SWAT. In my dreams, I fancy that Mr. Lear might've liked it.

Whence and wherefore,
who, what, why,
the frabjous Cat?!

Does he lie around the house all day,
yawning and sleeping life away,
not giving a doggone, as they say,
or a DRAT?
The complacent Cat.

Does he turn his nose up at his food?
Subject you to his offended mood?
Adopt a superior attitude
just like THAT?
The disdainful Cat.

Does he always want out when he's in?
Can he caterwaul a horrid din?
Is it true the beast has always been
such a BRAT?
The impertinent Cat.

Does he concert nightly on the picket?
Will he gladly eat a roach? A cricket?
Does he think you really ought to stick it
in your HAT?
The insouciant Cat.

Does he think that dogs are pathetic fools?
Dumb, contemptible human tools,
slavishly following nitwit rules
for a PAT?
The disgusted Cat.

When it's time for his esteem to woo,
will he offer up the deference due,
or make it clear he thinks less of you
than a GNAT?
The dismissive Cat.

Does he love you true , or merely feign?
Can he purr to soothe, when you're in pain?
Will he stick by you come snow or rain,
getting FAT?
The pragmatic Cat!





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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 6/22/2010
Delightfully clever, thank you for sharing your gifts, lolanthe. Love and peace,

Reviewed by D Johnson 6/21/2010
Quite funny...I have never thought of a cat as pragmatic, perhaps self-centered, ornery, single minded, contrarian at best, arrogant at worst, and I know I' m leaving something out, but for now, your poem has proven to be 'purrrfect.'

Reviewed by Dayvid Graybill 6/20/2010
That is just delightful Lannie! I don't really like cats (although I have to admit I've lived with quite a few) and this was a very fun piece!

Reviewed by Laurel Lamperd 6/20/2010
Just like Basil, my cat. Laurel
Reviewed by Connie Faust 6/20/2010
Fantastic writing! Not being familiar with THE AKOND OF SWAT, I can only gape, open-mouthed, at the style and complexity of this amazing poem.

Books by
Iolanthe Woulff

She's My Dad

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Kindle, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

  1. Life and a Love
  2. courage
  3. Water Baby
  4. I'm So Happy
  5. in honor of
  6. Contemplation
  7. Blue Morpho
  8. I Wish I Could Tell You...
  9. Australian storm
  10. Repairing the Damage
  11. For Emily
  12. Poem: You Made Me Rot
  13. Free Spirit
  14. Learning Experence
  15. Same Old Same Old
  16. Springtime Breeze
  17. Morning Thoughts
  18. My Scars
  19. Well Actually
  20. His Queen

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