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Patrick A Granfors

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Member Since: May, 2009

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  Tears for Visalia
by Patrick A Granfors
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
•  Standard Issue
           >> View all 528



Tears ran down his glistened cheeks

He hadn’t felt like this in weeks

Reddened eyes, his sight a blur

He couldn’t help but think of her

 

A week ago left high and dry

She went to see some other guy

Now filled with misty tears to cry

To himself he could not lie

 

He gently stroked the knife’s sharp edge

As he whispered softly another pledge

This one bet he would never hedge

Then he slowly cut another wedge

 

The tears renewed their fragrant flows

As onion fumes wafted through his nose

This, the weekend duty he chose

The thorns endured to pluck the rose

 

Smiling while the soup pot bubbled away

He knew she’d be coming home today

The week was long but there was no way

She’d miss visiting her dad on his birthday

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




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Reviewed by Ronald Hull 7/9/2010
Nice little teaser.

Ron
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 7/8/2010
A soup without onions is extremely sad,
Those who eat yours, will be very glad!
Reviewed by Liana Margiva 7/8/2010
VERY NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 7/8/2010
You are a devilish clever one that got everybody's underpants in a twist, mine? guffaw guffaw...don't wear any! (LOL)

Georg

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 7/7/2010
Well, you got me, Patrick. Cleverly concocted, my friend. Thank you. Love and peace to you,

Regis
Reviewed by E T Waldron 7/7/2010
you are such a trickster! another winner!;-)
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 7/7/2010
Daggone it, Patrick, you did it again. Just call me sucker ... LOL! Well done.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by D Johnson 7/7/2010
You do have this talent for sucking the reader into your plot...but not this time... snicker, snicker, snicker. Excellent little poem.

Cheers,
Dan
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 7/7/2010
You got me AGAIN, Patrick! LOL

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Paul Berube 7/7/2010
lol Well done.
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 7/7/2010
You just sucked me right in on that one till that last line, you bum...loved it...e
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 7/7/2010
The Shreck comes at the end, Hitchockl like, bless! Jasmin Horst
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 7/7/2010
Ooh, a shape-shifter poem ~ Nice words patrick!
With admiration,
Christine
Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater 7/7/2010
This is excellent poetry! Patrick, you have a knack for writing poetry that differentiates between working-man-dog-humor and serious snippets of a much larger serious-minded novelistic approach. I encourage you to build a novel. Your writing is inspiring with a social dimension...be well you and Eileen.

Love,
Sage
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat 7/7/2010
Patrick,

Had me going there for a while. Love the twist at the end.

Mary
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 7/7/2010
Don't know if you're the guy cooking the soup and if that soup is french onion soup, but your words bring back a memory of my father whos only cooking skill was making french onion soup that at that time I really didn't care too much for... What kid, I ask, likes french onion soup. But what I wouldn't give for a bowl of dad's homemade french onion soup now.
Your friend, Mark
Reviewed by Elisabeth Barstowe 7/7/2010
I love this, I did not excpect that ending. Well written.

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