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Patrick A Granfors

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  Blunder Down Under
by Patrick A Granfors
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

This is just getting too easy; yet another incident of the inmates escaping the brain trust. This one was reported yesterday in Broome, Australia proving that even the Aussies are not immune to rampant stupidity.

A local man was tossed out of a Tavern for being drunk and promptly broke into the local Zoo. He climbed into a cage containing a 16 foot crocodile to pet it. The croc named “Fatso” obliged by taking a chunk out of the man’s leg but then released him, which is highly unusual crocodile behavior. The man then managed to climb out of the cage to seek medical attention

To the Tom Jones Tune...Release Me

Oh please release let me go

My mental processes are slow

To keep my leg would be a sin

Release me and let me walk again


I had a bit too much to drink

Now your teeth into me sink

Please for this is our first date

Release me I taste like marinate


I know you thought I was snack

So I’ll forgive this whole attack

I’ll tell the zoo keep you’re OK

Just release me so I can get away


I never claimed I was too bright

To try and pet a croc at night

I know your motives are not cruel

Release me even though I’ve been a fool





Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors



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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
From Tom Jones, the movie. "Here puss, puss, pussey... no, gator, no!"

Reviewed by Lori Moore
Now I need to get the oldies station out of my mind. Very nice!
Reviewed by Kate Burnside
BRILLIANT!!! Tom Jones has been upstaged and Davy Jones thwarted of another dead man's bones... I guess even Fatso the Croc can get picky sometimes...!! :)) xx
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman
Very good writing, my friend. And this guy probably has children and votes in Australia.
Reviewed by Paul Berube
Good one, Patrick.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
I never claimed I was too bright,
To try and pet a croc at night

The mind boggles at the things we humans do when alcohol takes hold of our brains. Old Fatso really gave this guy a break.

He was drinking Coors I bet, God not even a croc would want to taste that, I know now that if Georg gets better and thinks of going down under, well, what am I saying, he probably is, Swedish Nurses and all, you know what I mean Patrick, darn this heat man, it has an impact, I am glad there ain't any crocs here, just the wife, ha.
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
"Release me I taste like marinate"

Perfect line & write...e
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)
The original Road Warrior.
Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
Virtual reality lesson in biting off more than you can chew, greedy gluttonous overindulging neo-cheaters. Blunder Down Under results in making great strides in whistleblowing the harmonica in the key of Waltzing Matilda shrimp on the barbie...let that peg leg flambe burn! We'll have a vegemite sandwich without the croc...Men at Work Land Down Under..."And he said, I come from a land down under. Where beer does flow and men chunder"...a template of retribution, Patrick...a new karma visionary approach to the strategic chomp! Pass the other crock!

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