I Saw My Mama Last Night
(A Spiritual Return)
It was the middle of the night
And I was lying in bed
Curled up on my side
When a dream, too real to be a dream,
Played out in my mind like a video
Of what I was actually doing and seeing at the moment.
I was dreaming exactly what I was doing: Sleeping,
Dreaming exactly where I was:
In my bedroom and in my bed.
When something jarred my attention
My eyes flew open (awake or asleep—I don’t know)
To see a shadow coming from the hallway
Into my bedroom door.
Was I asleep or was I awake
I couldn’t decide since the dream realistically
Occurred, mirroring the reflection of what I was
doing in that very moment as if I was
Watching my own self on a video camera.
Dream or not, there walked my mama
Into my room wearing a pink flowered robe
I had given her when she was in the nursing home.
Her hair was the same dark black I recalled so well.
She stood there looking at me,
Not saying anything,
While I kept calling “Mama , mama, mama,”
In disbelief that it was her.
I sat up on the bed, and then I came to my feet.
I knew she was dead and we had buried her,
Yet here she was coming back to see me.
“Can I touch you?” I asked, reaching out, expecting
My hand to pass through her as if she was a mirage.
But my hand touched flesh
And I threw my arms about her and began kissing
her cheek and hugging her, still calling “Mama”.
Then I suddenly awoke,
My heart racing wildly in my chest
As I gasped for needed air.
Finding myself in a severe asthma attack
I wonder if mama came
To wake me just in time
Before my heart stopped beating?
© 2010 Jeanette Cooper